30 DAYS OF HELLISH FATHERHOOD

--SUMMARY--

Eva goes away to visit her sick mother for a month. Now join Sparda in taking care of his naughty twin sons! How long can the almighty demon withstand it!? Fluff and humor involved!

Well, this is my very very very first DMC ficcy, so yea. I don't even know the perfect history of Dante's childhood, so some parts might be of but my imaginations, including where the family lives. Aaand in this fic, Dante and Vergil are still seven years old! Shawww kyoooottt!!! I'm always eager to write their cute childhood tale!

R n R pliz!

DISCLAIMER : Yew, who doesn't want to have the twin pretty sons of Sparda? Sadly, Capcom monopolizes them!

Prologue

-A DAY BEFORE THE FATEFUL TIME!-

Sparda had always enjoyed his tea time. It was a precious time when he could relax and took sips on the warm tea his wife had made (Eva's tea is incredible, you know); one of the rare times when he could just hide from Dante's annoying screams and Vergil's overly-egoistical-manner (which the little boy always thought was the other interpretation of coolness. Gosh, he needed much more motherly love!). He always told Eva to take care of the children on those dear times. Yet still, sometimes Dante escaped and tried to steal one of his cookies (Useless pathetic efforts, if you ask. Sparda had always protected his dear snacks perfectly) before Eva came to spank his naughty butt.

He would sit on the porch, taking his lonely time, thinking about God knows what. All those stuffs, without undressing the noble elegance in his manners. Sometimes the rain would fall and Sparda came to love his times even more; the rain and his beloved wife's tea could make a perfect combination together.

How he so loved his tea times, but little did the great demon know that from that day on, he would came to hate those times badly.

On that cool afternoon, Sparda was musing on a chocolate muffin, wondering how on earth his wife could create such a godly-delicious-cake, when his superhuman ears caught a short phone ring from inside the house. He didn't even bother to come in and pick it up, knowing that Eva or his twin sons would answer the phone first. He wasn't wrong; a flight of light steps was heard coming down the wooden stairs, crossing the living room quickly, and Eva's soft "Hello?" echoed through the whole house.

Sparda continued on eating the cake. There was no way a random call could disturb his beloved afternoon. It could be a call from his annoying editor (yeah, he was currently an author), but Eva had been warned to tell everyone who called him on his dearest times that he's not presence. The demon had finally bitten the last piece of his muffin, when rain started to fall, bathing the world with its pure lucid drops. What a perfect afternoon, thought Sparda as he solemnly watched the drops crush the brown earth.

At least, he thought it was a perfect tea-time, until Eva's blonde head popped out from the front door. Hardly did Sparda notice that his wife was there, for he was too overwhelmed in the beauty of the falling rain.

"Dear?" Eva's soft voice startled Sparda from his overwhelmed thoughts. Turning ever so slowly, the silver-haired demon made a flat "What?"

Eva beamed a wide smile, and suddenly Sparda felt his napes standing up. Years living with this human woman had given him enough experiences; and now he could tell that whenever Eva smiles that kind of smile, something bad is going to happen.

"Dear," Eva began melodramatically, approaching her husband, "My mother is sick." It was scary, really, that his wife was talking in a happy voice. Who else than her could be happy when their old mother was not a hundred percent!?

"I see," Sparda answered almost nonchalantly, "I don't mind to go visiting her with you. Maybe we can take our children as well?"

And Eva smiled again. "Oh noooo, Honey, I don't want to bother you!" she chirped happily, "I'll go alone. You stay here, and please take care of the children!"

The demon's eyes widened. T-A-K-E C-A-R-E O-F T-H-E C-H-I-L-D-R-E-E-E-N-N-N!? He would prefer fighting Beowulf once again to taking care of those sons of Alas! Well, I WAS their father, and yeah, I'm a devil, Sparda thought ironically. The last time Eva went out for a day, they destroyed the house. They DID destroy it (Sparda was locking himself in a room, writing a cheesy love story, when an explosion was heard, and the whole house fell onto earth. It turned out that Dante and Vergil were experimenting on something they called 'Smack Daddy Up!', God knows what they were going to do with it literally). And when Eva came back, she turned REALLY mad. Not to the children. To HIM.

"Well," Sparda was really unsure if he really wanted to know the answer, "How long will you go away?"

The demon could have sworn that he saw his wife smirking devilishly for a short second. "Only for fifteen days, dear," said Eva, putting that super-big grin.

A lightning flashed outside.

Then Sparda's voice echoed through the rain,

"FIFTEEN FUCKIN' DAYS!?"

FFFFFFFFFF

Meanwhile, in Dante and Vergil's room...

"Heya, Vergil, did you hear something like Daddy's voice?" Dante looked up from his Devil May Cry comic.

"No. It was just a lightning, stupid," came the stern answer from his twin. Dante just 'humph'-ed and continued reading the comic.

FFFFFFFFFF

AN : Hoooow was it!? It was just kind of prologue, so forgive me if it's short! Come on, I know you wanna know how it turns out! Oh yeah, there Eva said that she was going to be away for 15 days, but later she would extend her 'absence'. Really, you should feel sorry for Sparda...