Well, here's the second chapter, involving caffeine as the drug of choice (honestly, caffeine is a drug). Now, I know caffeine's not illegal, but then, neither is alcohol. However, the results of too much can be rather humorous. Don't worry, the illegal stuff starts next chapter.
Thank you very much to all of you who reviewed! I was actually very surprised at the amount of positive feedback I received (I was honestly expecting to get one or two tops – instead, I got seven!!!!). Thanks a lot!
Again, I don't know much about Helga and the other Orden members who weren't in the anime, so they may seem a little OOC. Just keep in mind they are all trying to be as annoying as possible, and so are willing to push the boundaries of how they normally act. Sorry!
This chapter takes place after that meeting mentioned in the last chapter. Dietrich is still experiencing the effects of his hangover.
And thanks to moonpixi, who betas for me .
Chapter 2: Yummylittlechocolatecandies!
Dietrich winced as yet another Orden member shouted something cheerfully across the mansion.
They are having way too much fun with this.
Well, at least he was up. He had a headache that threatened to rip his head apart and he still felt slightly nauseous but he was, indeed, up.
He was also rummaging through the kitchen for something to reduce his headache and nausea. Unfortunately, it seemed like every single bit of medication – Tylenol, Aspirin, Advil – had all disappeared.
"Oh, Dietrich!" Helga cried merrily as she all but skipped into the kitchen. "What are you doing? Because if it involves any type of medication then you are Out Of Luck! Isaak had us get rid of any we happened to have. Guess you'll just have to bear through it!" She continued cheerfully, grabbing something from a draw – slamming it shut as loudly as possible, of course – and leaving the room.
Dietrich winced again and shot a halfhearted glare at the doorway and the now-absent ice witch.
Suddenly she appeared again, sticking her head through the doorframe. "I'm sorry, I forgot – GOODBYE, DIETRICH!!!!!!!!!!"
He grabbed the nearest object – it happened to be a glass – and flung it at her head. She simply ducked and let it shatter against the wall behind her, and took that as her clue to leave, disappearing down the hall again.
Somewhere in the mansion, a door opened with a loud bang.
Dietrich swore again, grabbing a dustpan and broom. How the hell had Isaak known that was him? That just didn't seem right, somehow…
He swept up the glass shards carefully before throwing them in the trashcan. As he went to put the broom away, however, he knocked something off the shelf. It was a bag of what looked like chocolate beans.
Intrigued, Dietrich picked up the bag. It was unmarked. He opened it and ate one of the little beans.
Headache forgotten, Dietrich ate several more of them. Eyeing the bag carefully, he decided that he was going to want more of them.
Time for a trip to the store…
These are very good.
The trip to the store had (thank God) been rather uneventful. Dietrich had managed to find a small candy store not too far from the mansion. He had simply walked in, shown the bag to the clerk, and asked for more.
He now had many bags of the little chocolate candies.
He also still had no idea what they were, as they had all been in a bin and it was up to the customer to put them in a bag. Or bags.
Well, at least now he had quite a bit. Even though he'd already had something like a bag and a half's worth of the candies.
Oddly enough, he was feeling very, very awake. He could have sworn when he woke up that morning that he would be exhausted all day, but he was actually feeling very energetic.
But he did have work to do. He'd wanted to improve the resiliency of his strings after the C4 incident, but he simply hadn't gotten around to it yet.
I could probably do that now, since everyone else has decided to make my day miserable. They do tend to avoid my workshop for some reason…
He grabbed about four bags of the candies and headed off to his workshop.
He'd been looking for Dietrich for the past half hour. The boy wasn't in his room or workshop, and none of the other Orden members had seen him.
Actually, no one had really seen him for the past several days – not since that whole alcohol fiasco. Isaak had really hoped that this time he'd wait at least a month before doing something else to cause the RCO members distress. It seemed as though his hope had been in vain.
Sometimes Isaak wondered if it was a good thing that Dietrich's life seemed to be tracked by what mess he had created around himself at any given time.
This seemed to be a candidate for one of those markers. When Isaak had finally braved Dietrich's workshop he had been shocked at the state of the room. It looked like a whirlwind had torn through it. And now Dietrich was missing.
Isaak decided he was probably safer not knowing. Giving up on finding Dietrich for the time being he retreated to his own workshop. He still had to write that program…
Not five minutes after he sat down, Isaak heard feet running towards his workshop. Experience told him it was Dietrich.
This could be… interesting. Unfortunately, it will probably be bad.
The door slammed open.
"HeyIsaakwhatchadoing?" Dietrich asked cheerfully, literally bouncing into the room.
Isaak blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Whatchadoingprogrammingcodingsomethingohowboring." Came the rapid reply as Dietrich started jumping from foot to foot, as though he couldn't stand still.
Well, I found the whirlwind.
Still jumping and impatiently waiting for… something, Dietrich pulled a little bag out of a pocket and put about five brown beans in his mouth, chewing happily.
Isaak's eyes narrowed. "What are those?"
"Yummylittlechocolatecandies!" Came the enthusiastic reply. "They'rereallyreallygooddoyouwantsome?"
Isaak paused. "…You don't know what they are." It wasn't a question. "Give me the bag."
Dietrich happily gave him the whole thing.
And took out another – fuller – bag.
Isaak raised an eyebrow.
"Yummylittlechocolatecandies." Dietrich repeated happily, eating about six more.
Isaak hesitantly tried one.
And tasted espresso.
"… Chocolate covered espresso beans."
Dietrich shook his head violently. "Notheyareyummylittlechocolatecandies."
"Indeed. How many of these have you had?" Isaak asked slowly.
Isaak sighed. "Over what time period?"
"Umumumumummm…threeorfourdaysmaybewheneverourlastmeetingwas?" Dietrich was starting to shake.
That wasn't good. "How many bags?" Isaak asked, almost dreading the answer.
"…So you're on a caffeine high." Isaak noted that Dietrich's shaking was getting worse. "You know, I can't even think of a creative punishment for you, though the crash you're about to experience may be enough of one."
Dietrich blinked at him rapidly.
"Give me all of the bags you have with you." Isaak ordered flatly.
"Giveyouallthebagsofyummylittlechocolatecandies?" A rather sad tone had entered Dietrich's voice.
"Yes. All of them. Now." He added when Dietrich hesitated.
Dietrich looked crushed, but none-the-less attempted to give Isaak the bags. Attempted, because he was shaking too badly to actually go into the pockets, grab the bags, and hand them to Isaak.
Isaak sighed again. He wasn't sure why Dietrich was being so obedient, but he didn't want to question it. He grabbed Dietrich's shoulders and forced him to sit in the chair. He then went through Dietrich's pockets, collecting about four more bags of the espresso beans, all the while feeling like a parent with a rather disobedient child – Dietrich kept on trying to squirm out of his grasp.
"Stop moving." Isaak ordered, watching as Dietrich attempted to do so, still shaking. "Do you know what the effects of too much caffeine are? It actually will cause exhaustion, confusion, irritability, gastro-intestinal problems… some of which you are going to be feeling very shortly."
A one-word question, but he was still speaking ridiculously fast. "Yes?"
"IthinkImayhaveknockedLordCainoveratsomepointonmywayheremaybedoyouthinkhe'llbeverymad?" Dietrich asked.
Isaak just looked at him. "What do you think?"
Well, at least he was beginning to speak a little slower. "Yes, you do think. Supposedly. Sometimes you do stupid things like this that make me wonder." Isaak answered.
"So you've told me. Several times. Do you have any other bags around the house?" Isaak noticed the definite slowing of Dietrich's speech.
"…Yes?" Dietrich's voice was beginning to shake.
"Bags? Do they happen look like this?" Came a rather annoyed voice from the door of the workshop.
Isaak knew that voice. All too well, actually.
"Lord Cain." He greeted, turning around and spotting the unmistakable little bag of chocolate covered espresso beans being held in Cain's grasp. "Ah, yes, those."
He saw Cain's eyes wander to the pile of bags already on the table. He raised an eyebrow.
Dietrich… giggled… and happily murmured something Isaak was sure was "yummylittlechocolatecandies". Dietrich tried to bolt out of the chair to grab them from Cain.
He didn't get very far. Isaak immediately grabbed him and pushed him back into the chair as Cain commented wryly, "Are we performing an experiment I was unaware of?"
"Not exactly. It seems as though Dietrich has managed to acquire many bags of chocolate covered espresso beans, resulting in a caffeine high. I'm currently attempting to get him to tell me where all of the other bags are… where did you find that one?"
"They fell out of one of his pockets when he crashed into me."
Isaak felt Dietrich tug on his sleeve. "Ithink…thathe'sreally, reallymad." Dietrich said happily, in a whisper that could be heard clearly throughout the room.
Isaak fought the urge to go slam his head up against a wall as he glared at Dietrich with all his might.
Dietrich blinked and shifted away. "Ithink…thatyou'rereally, reallymad too." He muttered miserably.
Cain moved to stand in front of Dietrich. "You really can't stay out of trouble, can you?" It wasn't a question.
Dietrich blinked up at him. "…Youcan…have…the yummylittlechocolatecandies." He offered.
Cain stared at him.
"I…don'tthinkthat…Isaakwill…letme…havethemback…anyway." He continued mournfully.
Cain shook his head and tossed the bag he had onto the pile. "Get rid of them all." He ordered curtly, walking out of the room.
Isaak murmured a soft "of course" as Cain swept by him. Dietrich now looked completely crushed, curled up and shaking from the fading high in the chair. He looked at Isaak sadly.
"He didn't want the yummylittlechocolatecandies."
Isaak sighed. He quickly gathered the bags sitting on the table. "Stay RIGHT THERE." He ordered sternly as he turned and left Dietrich to crash, locking the door behind him. He had a feeling that finding the bags would take a while.
But was to do with them afterwards…?
The Duchess of Milan looked up at Sister Kate's hologram. "Yes?"
"We seem to have received a box filled with about forty bags of chocolate covered espresso beans."
What on earth…?
"…Who is it from?" Caterina asked, wondering why someone would send espresso beans to the AX.
However, before Kate could answer, the door opened and Tres entered, holding a small slip of paper. He walked over and put it on her desk.
"Duchess, a minor problem has transpired."
"Where did you get this?" She asked, confused. The writing on the paper said "Enjoy – IFvK"
"From the box received two hours, seven minutes, and fifty-two seconds ago." Tres responded.
She stared at it. "…You said we had a problem?"
"Father Nightroad seems to have ingested far more espresso beans than is recommended."
Well, that's chapter number two. Up next is marijuana.
I hope you all enjoyed the story (especially the ending!).