The Truth of Deceit

Saradush.

Above even the horrors of the Abyss, she could see the city clearly. The roaring flames that threatened to consume everything that stood their way. The blistering heat, the screams of the dying. The terror and confusion.

They had invigorated her.

The essence, her soul, there was no difference between them. Entwined as they were, there was no distinguishing, they were both her, and made her whole.

But how could she tell him this? He who loved her in spite of the taint.

Anomen had thought she was simply of a despondent spirit, and how could she tell him otherwise? How could she tell him that a part of her had been excited at the onslaught of carnage, that it had been euphoric?

What would he say?

He was right, the dead still haunted her dreams, invaded her daytime thoughts, but not for the reasons he would like to believe.

No, she couldn't tell him. He who was her knight, her Watcher. She couldn't hurt him like that, he who was also frightened of her. And yet, here he was, holding her, comforting her... loving her. It seemed so absurdly ludicrous.

Everything did.

Even now, she was lying to him. Telling him what he wanted to hear, giving him the reassurance that he so desperately needed. Had she done the same to Jaheira? Is that why the druid had left, disgusted, all those months ago?

Lies built upon lies. Had she been deceiving herself... had she been deceiving Anomen? She had pushed him along the right path, claiming that she would have done the same. Was it true? No.

Just another lie.

She could feel tears flowing down her arms, gathering in overflowing pools on her tunic. "Anomen..."

"Yes, my lady?"

She bit her lip, forcing herself to meet his gaze. His eyes... so vulnerable, so anxious... "Never mind... it's nothing really important."

She was rewarded with his embrace.