So basically this is my attempt at a Death Note fanfiction. I don't really know where I was going with this, I was bored, my word processor was open and henceforth, miracles began to happen! -big gasp- Anyways, I'm just trying to organize my thoughts, and Death Note came to mind. To be honest, I thought this was going to be 300 - 500 words, maybe 700 tops. I think it ended up being 2300. It's basically mindless rambling, L's mindless interal rambling of sorts. It was also late when I wrote this, so blame repetition on that.

Warnings: slight L/Light, one f-bomb, and a few damns, L also might be a little less eccentric, maybe a little more normal. I'm sorry!! -flails- I should not mess with the awesomeness that is L/Ryuzaki/Ryuga/hisrealname!!

Disclaimer: I do not own the addiciting (though depressing) awesomeness that is Death Note. I only own the insane urge to throttle Light (due to actions in later mangas), and this sad little story. I am making absolutely no profit off this, though it'd be really cool if I was, and yadda, yadda, all that jazz we've all heard before. Thank you disclaimer, now you can screw off. -.-;;

Now don't y'all feel shy about leaving reviews, now y'hear?...I'm serious. GIVE ME REVIEWS, DAMN YOU!! I will hug you will with awesomeness if you review (and I'm told I give very good hugs).


"Kira."

He spoke to nothing in particular as he started out at the nightlife of Tokyo, through the large windows of his hotel room.

The case to find and arrest Kira had been on-going for quite a while now and L was finding the lack of leads weary, and now that it was confirmed that there was more than one Kira out there; it had become simply exhausting.

The second Kira was careless, that much was obvious, but somehow he/she had managed to meet up with the first Kira, and it was apparent that 'he' was willing to follow any orders that Kira decided to give, and L was positive Kira would do what it took in order to keep the police away from them, or any information that may lead to how the murders were committed.

How do you capture a murderer, who leaves no evidence? A murderer who doesn't even have to be in the same room as the person he murders at the time of the murder? He thought, perplexed.

He had solved several cases during his career, but this one by far was the most troublesome. At least in his other cases there had been solid evidence.

The number of criminals dying, incarcerated or free, had been rising rapidly, but had slowed down incredibly after Light Yagami's confinement, and for the first two weeks, they had stopped entirely. Why? But L didn't know. And just when L was positive that he was right all along about Light Yagami being the first Kira, the murders had started again. Con men, murderers, serial rapists, pedophiles, and even petty thieves, all of them had started dying again. Simple heart attacks. No evidence; absolutely nothing to trace the victims back to the killer.

That had shot his entire theory to hell. With Light in confinement, hand-cuffed with no access to the outside world, no names, no faces, no way of killing, and with the suspected second Kira in custody as well…there was no possible way…no possible physical way that Light Yagami or Misa Amane could be carrying out the murders. And how could Light being doing the murders? No one had been able to figure out how Kira killed his victims, and when L had lied to Light and said that the killings had stopped as soon as he had been incarcerated, Light had believed him. There was no way he could have known unless he was doing them himself.

And in the moment when Light had looked at him, or rather looked at the camera lens, eyes wide with fear at being the Kira he believed he wasn't…at the moment, Light didn't have the face of a liar, and L couldn't help but feel compelled to believe him. But still, there was that nagging feeling. Light was brilliant and cunning, he could have foreseen the entire scenario and prepared for it, he could have done something and then agreed to give himself up in order to gain L's trust. Which for the most part he did have, but that didn't stop L from believing he was the first Kira.

There was no other logical explanation…but it seemed to him every time he came up with a logical explanation, Kira or Light would do something that would blow his entire explanation out of proportion…someone would make it immediately illogical with just a mere action.

He reached out with his pale hand and gently brushed his fingers across the window, before placing his palm flat against it. His forehead soon followed, pressing against the cool glass as if it held some sort of answer he had overlooked, and at this point in the game, he wouldn't have been surprised if he managed to overlook something vital. A lot of things didn't surprise him anymore. His mind was becoming increasingly muddled, and he was confused with all these actions.

Kira was playing with him that was for damn sure. He cursed silently under his breath. The notes, the shiningami, Light, everything. It was all one big bloody mess, and one that Kira had left lying in the middle of the floor waiting for someone else to mop it up. Except as it stood now, it seemed as if L was a janitor without his mop, how was he supposed to do it?

As much as L didn't want Light to be Kira, he couldn't help but consider the possibilities. Kira was brilliant, that much was apparent, because if he weren't L would have captured him and put him to his death long ago. He was also careful, exactly the same as Light. L had also noticed that the Light he was attached to now was completely different than the Light that he had met that day in To-oh university when he revealed himself to him as L.

The Light then had seemed cunning in a dangerous way, a manipulative, lying snake, but the Light he knew now seemed so innocent, confident, but wary. Why the drastic change? Before every word that came out of Light's mouth seemed as if it were a lie, a fabrication to get L's suspicions away from him, but now, L couldn't help but believe every word that came out of Light's mouth.

L would remember how Light's eyes would narrow in an offended glare, his lips would set strictly, and his body language would turn defensive. "I'm not Kira!" he would state, sometimes even yell angrily. And he had the right to be angry, because as far as L could tell, he wasn't lying, but despite all that he couldn't get past the fact that he still believed Light was Kira. Maybe he only believed that because there were no other suspects stating otherwise. Something had drawn him to Light, and something about the boy had made him label him as a suspect…no, not a suspect…Kira himself.

They had already hypothesized that Kira could forget at will, or make someone forget and perhaps pass the 'power' unto someone else. Maybe at some point Light had been possessed by Kira and had been forced to kill using this certain power, and maybe that was the same case with the Amane girl, he wasn't sure. But if that was the case, how could he have possibly known that Light had turned himself in and that Misa Amane had been arrested on suspicion? How could he have possibly known? Was it possible that he forced Light to turn himself in and then made him forget everything in order to incriminate Light himself. It didn't seem possible…and besides if he wanted Light to be executed in his stead, wouldn't it have made more sense to stop the killings?

No…he won't stop, he'll never stop…not until he achieved his perfect utopian world…or until I send him to the execution chamber.

Kira wouldn't give up killing for the sake of not being caught, if he did that that would mean that he was giving up and L knew that Kira hated to lose, because he was exactly the same way. He couldn't allow himself to lose to this murderer who propagated his sick sense of justice through the acts that he did. Sure, the crime rate had gone down drastically, but that was out of fear of being killed, and what kind of world thrived on being controlled by fear? It was a dictatorship. Kira was trying to rule the world, he was no different that an oppressive dictator. Sparing only those who shared his ideals, what kind of good could possibly come from that?

L couldn't even fathom it; it was just so twisted. Did Light even have that kind of mentality? With his current personality L didn't think so, killing to stop murder, that didn't seem like the kind of illogical thinking Light would immerse himself in. But that could have been Light's plan all along, L had thought over this many times. He had never been able to explain how someone who had been vehemently denying being Kira had suddenly appeared before him, asking to be arrested because he feared that he might be Kira, somehow, subconsciously, and it did seem rather suspicious that he came at the particular time…right after Misa had been arrested. Right at the peak of the investigation, right before L was about to arrest him himself, Light had shown up and turned himself in…but it meant nothing because there was no evidence…and the murders had started occurring again. He could have planned the entire thing, maybe he passed this power onto someone else and told them to commit the murders and then he erased his own memories, only to get closer to him.

It was possible…if Light was Kira, then the odds of discovering each other was pretty much even. L had a suspect, but no evidence, and Light had a face, but no name. It would seem logical that Light would have done anything to get closer to L, get him to try and trust him and perhaps even tell him his real name, and then he could finally turn around and kill him. He was, after all, Kira's biggest threat, and with him out of the way there would be no one left to match wits with him. Sure, there was the investigation team, but they were fully exposed and could be killed at any time, they also had no idea how to proceed. If L were to die Chief Yagami would have difficulty matching his own son to Kira, and that was understandable, but a tragic mistake in the chance that Light actually was.

"Fuck…" He mumbled and thumped his head against the glass a few times. He couldn't explain the kind of contempt he was feeling for Kira at this precise moment; contempt for being so damn elusive, and contempt for just making his sick joke in the name of justice.

No one was that good…there must be a hole somewhere. L was hoping that one of Kira's attempts to infuriate him would end up being his downfall.

L…do you know shiningami like apples?

He pounded his fist against the glass and the sound seemed to fill the deathly quiet room. "Damn you, Kira."

He was sick of Kira's twisted game, but somehow he knew that it would be a long time before it was anywhere near finished and he felt a worried panic in the back of his mind, wondering if Kira would actually succeed. If he managed to tear down all those of opposed him, and get the rest to join him, he would have the ultimate power. Where would that lead the world? What was life without conflict? Fear, it was all about fear. Whether Kira realized it or not all he was doing was controlling people by fear, they believed in him because they were afraid.

And Kira was afraid too, afraid that he would be found out and his dreams at a 'utopia' would be shattered. Afraid that he would fall to the same justice that he believed he was upholding. A small smirked crossed L's pale features, he wanted to be the person who did just that, and see the look on his face as the lethal injection needle plunged into his arm. He wanted to be there to see Kira's dreams shatter; he wanted to be there to know that he had won, and Kira had lost.

"Wherever you are hiding, Kira, know that I will find you." He let out a small chuckle, disturbing the quiet air of the room.

A shifting in the bed beside him caused him to tear his gaze from the window and meet bleary, light brown eyes that seemed to glow in the moonlight.

"Ryuzaki." The man yawned.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

"It's late…I know this case is difficult but you're not going to find Kira just standing there." Light gave him a small, but sincere smile. "You've been working too hard, you're going to end up stressing yourself out. Why don't you come to bed?"

Light slid over a little further to the other side of the bed and patted the mattress beside him, beckoning L to come and join him.

"I…"

Before Ryuzaki even had the chance to protest, Light had gathered up the chain attached to his left wrist and tugged on it dragging him helplessly to the bed. This was one of the times L cursed them being chained together, but it had helped him considerably since he could monitor Light's movements all the time. It also helped them keep their newfound relationship a secret.

Ungracefully, L fell onto the bed with a soft oomph beside his smirking companion, and sighed, giving up all hopes of resisting when Light cuddled up to him, arm thrown possessively over his abdomen. Almost immediately, Light seemed to have drifted off to sleep and L couldn't help but notice how innocent he looked like that. He felt his heart clench in his chest, what if he was Kira? L really liked Light, they had become extremely close over the course of the investigation and L wasn't sure what he would do if he had to give this up in the name of justice; if he had to give Light up.

He shook his head violently, trying to rid his head of these dark thoughts. Light was right, he needed sleep or else he wouldn't be able to focus properly on the case. He had to investigate Kira as rationally as possible or else he would never catch him, and that wasn't something he could swallow. If worse came to worse and it turned out that Light really was Kira, then L would deal with that then, right now he would enjoy what they had together, in what time they had together. And at the moment, that was enough for him.


-erects a sign that points to the review button- You know the drill, my babies. Don't be shy.