I know this is really dark and kind of a worst case scenario thing. But I was so full of emotion at the end of this episode that I had to write this… Was crying the whole time by the way.

Hope you (I'm not going to say enjoy this) 'whatever' this.

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They sat in the church, all in black. None of them staring at the casket in front of them. The whole day starting out as a dream for everyone. Meredith wasn't dead. She couldn't be dead. It didn't seem real when the first found out. But today… today made it real… for everyone.

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Izzie said she would be fine. Izzie told everyone that Meredith wouldn't die, that she would be strong and that she would survive.

Izzie wondered if Denny would look after her. If he was taking care of her. She hated to think it, but sometimes at night, a part of her was jealous that Meredith was with Denny.

At that moment, Izzie would hate herself for ever thinking that. She would then go down to the kitchen and remind herself that she needed to go out and buy herself some more butter.

She sat at the church, looking at the casket for the first time. 'I wasn't trying to drown myself in the bathtub.' Meredith had said. It was the last thing said between them. She cried.

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'You sleep with inappropriate men, its your thing.' He had said to her once. Alex and Meredith had bonded over the fact that they were both sluts. He would always laugh at that.

Alex thought that he should've stayed longer at the scene. He was the first intern back from the hospital with the prospect of major surgery dancing in his heads.

If he had stayed longer, maybe he would have noticed Meredith fall into the water, and would have been able to save her himself.

He sat next to Izzie, tears threatening to fall. He would have to be dark and twisty without Meredith. Maybe wasn't good enough.

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Richard Webber had known about Meredith her whole life. She was a smart kid, and grew up to become a smart doctor. She would have made an excellent surgeon.

Richard would always wonder what Meredith would think of him if he would had stayed with her mother. Wondered if she would approve, if she would call him dad.

When Meredith did finally find out, there was only a small outburst of emotion. Nothing major. She was more mad at him for not staying with her mother. For upsetting her mother.

He sat there now, Adele sitting next to him. She had come out of respect. He remembered the day when Ellis was lucid and she told him to take care of Meredith for her. He cried because he had failed.

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'Derek's not the kind of guy you leave if you can help it.' She had said to Mark at Joes the night he was waiting for Addison to come back to him. Full of wisdom she was. Not to mention easy on the eyes.

He had considered pursuing Meredith for longer than he did, but once he saw the way Derek and her looked at each other, there was no way Meredith Grey would ever end up in his bed.

He wished that he would have been nicer to her. They could have been friends. He would dream of a time when Addison and himself would double date with Meredith and Derek.

He sat next to Derek at the service, hold his best friends hand. He was upset that it took the death of Meredith Grey to bring him a Derek closer together.

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Meredith had brought her coffee once, trying to suck up on her second day as an intern. After that, she was the one who gave Miranda Bailey the least amount of trouble.

Sure she had slept with a married Attending, but she had never cut some guys L-Vad wire, or lied about another Attending's tremors. She was grateful for that.

She was the glue that held all of her interns together. She was Christina's best and only friend, she was Alex's friend when no one else was, she helped Izzie deal with Denny's death, and after she had broke George, she had made the effort to fix it.

She sat on the other side of the Chief, looking around at her interns. None of them had returned to work and she wondered if any of them would. They had all lost their glue. Miranda didn't want to be responsible for four scattered interns.

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He had grown his hair out for her. At one time, he would do anything for her. Even though he was married, he would always have a crush on Meredith Grey.

She had crushed him when she cried when they had had sex. He was a wreck. But because of being 'broken' and because he had fallen down a flight of stairs, he had met Callie. He was grateful for that.

Even though his night with Meredith was anything but romantic, he would never forget that night. He loved Meredith Grey.

He was sitting next to his wife, trying to stay strong during the service, breaking down occasionally. He wished that he would have forgiven her sooner.

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'You must be the woman who's been screwing my husband?' Was the first thing that Addison Montgomery-Shepard had ever said to Meredith Grey. At the time it had felt good.

She never wanted to hurt Meredith, just get her husband back. None of what happened was ever her fault.

She could tell why Derek fell in love with her. She could tell why Derek had sex with her in an empty exam room. She had definitely lost to the better party.

'Don't do this Grey.' She said while watching Meredith flat line. Sitting next to Derek now she knew he would never be the same. Derek saved people, that's what he was good at. No one at Seattle Grace who knew Meredith Grey would ever be the same.

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Meredith was her person. The only person Christina Yang had ever had. Meredith was her best friend. 'If I killed someone, Meredith would be the person I would call to help me drag the body across the floor'.

They had fought at first. They both wanted to be the best. She had hated Meredith at first. It wasn't until she realized how bitter and mad at the world they were to see that they would be really good friends.

After Meredith had died, she had cried in Burkes arms for ages. She had cried for Meredith, and cried for herself. At that same moment she had taken out her engagement ring and given it back to Burke. She wouldn't get married if she didn't have her person with her.

She sat in between Izzie and George, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She was supposed to be cut-throat. When Dr. Bailey had told her to stay behind she should have been rude and demanding and made Meredith stay behind.

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She wasn't just a girl in a bar the night Derek Shepard had met Meredith Grey. She was coy and smart and beautiful and the thought that he was a married mad had never crossed his mind.

When Addison had come back into Derek's life, he was torn. Addison was his wife. When he was with Addison, all he thought about was Meredith. He couldn't get her out of his head.

When he saw Meredith with Finn, it always felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. When they had made love in the exam room on Prom night, his heart was so full of love for this woman.

He cried in between Addison and Mark, who were trying to hold him together. He had planned the whole rest of his life with Meredith. He wouldn't be able to live it without her. He was supposed to be her 'knight in shining whatever.'

END…