Title: the Hands-on Approach
Universe: Bleach
Theme/Topic: Sex talk.
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: ChadxIshida
Warnings/Spoilers: None I can imagine.
Word Count: 1,641
Summary: Sex-ed leads to some sex discussion.
Dedication: for Gizmo!
Written for the yaoichallenge reverse Valentine's Day ficathon. The request was: "Guy talk about sex leading into actual sex. No declarations of eternal love and mushiness, please." LOL um, sorry that last part is kind of…implied only. XD;;
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.

The movie ended, the lights came up, and as the final bell rang, around twenty people stood/stumbled/ran from the classroom directly to the bathrooms, most likely because they needed to heave up the remnants of their lunches after what they'd just witnessed.

And while Ishida Uryuu's reaction to the video and etc. wasn't as volatile as his classmates'—he had perfect control over his bodily functions thank you very much—it didn't mean he disagreed with their sentiments, however overdramatically they were presented.

Instead, he simply stood and gathered his school books, sighing and declaring: "Well, that was singularly unappealing," to Chad, who thankfully, seemed to have a constitution that rivaled Uryuu's.

Sado didn't say anything in response but instead, stood silently by, waiting. Ishida kept talking like the taller boy had answered him anyway, and that was fine, because that was pretty much how they worked. It was a good harmony.

"I presume that being unappealing was the ultimate purpose of today's scintillating presentation anyway though," the Quincy continued, wrinkling his nose a bit before adjusting his glasses thoughtfully. "When you look at it from a purely academic standpoint, I suppose the best way to prevent any of us 'misguided youth' from engaging in promiscuous behavior would be to show us the consequences before we could get addicted to the supposed fun part."

That said, he finished packing up and slung his bag over his shoulder before heading for the door. Chad followed.

"It's a scare tactic," Ishida continued sensibly as they walked down the hallway side by side, shoulders brushing just so. "They show us communicable diseases, bodily fluids, and then the aftermath those illnesses will have on our bodies with time. It's all to frighten us into abstinence until we've found a respectable, socially acceptable means of procreating. One that's done only once we're of age and no longer have any actual sexual curiosity remaining whatsoever. In the meantime, most fifteen year olds are now afraid to even kiss another person for fear of contracting some sort of herpes."

Sado blinked.

"And while I know what they're trying to do—it's a rudimentary strategy at best and employed only by the most provincial of simpletons—I can't help but marvel at its effectiveness anyway."

Chad thought he ought to maybe say something about that, but for the moment, only bumped his shoulder reassuringly against Uryuu's.

"I mean, of course it's all a means through which adults can further control our behavior—seems like exactly the sort of thing my father and other health administrators would have up their sleeve after all— but at the same time, the images of those cysts and sores and pus etc., etc., etc. all leave me with a decidedly less urgent drive to try and engage in intercourse anyway. Not that I was extremely driven before, mind, but their nefarious plan has obviously worked as now I'm even less inclined. I don't know whether or not I'm indignant about that."

Chad coughed, because he was starting to get a little indignant, maybe. "No one would do it if it didn't feel good. I think," he offered, sensibly.

Ishida paused, turned to blink up at him. "What?"

Chad's eyes, obscured by his bangs, turned down to the ground. "There'd be nothing to warn against if it didn't feel good." Pause. "People just wouldn't do it."

"Perpetuating the race?" Ishida said, probably just to be contrary.

Chad grinned at him.

The smaller boy sighed and looked aside. "Population boom aside," he added.

Chad didn't say anything and instead, stood by and admired the fact that Uryuu was really very cute when he was trying to be argumentative purely for argument's sake.

Ishida, after a moment, shrugged. "Okay fine. Say it feels good. Good enough to risk… pus coming out of places pus should never come out of?"

They both winced a little at the memory.

"I think they're telling us it's fine as long as we're not being reckless about it." A beat. "You know, because I don't think they'd want negative population growth," Chad added after beat, and Ishida knew the bastard was just saying that to tease him, considering the fact that he certainly wasn't planning on getting pregnant by the other boy any time soon.

The Quincy blushed a little at the thought, but managed to pull it off in a dignified manner by sniffing and crossing his arms as well. "I suppose, but even still, that was a very traumatic way of going about it."

"They showed us some of the good things too," Chad responded, sensibly.

"What? Like what?" Ishida demanded, because he'd been paying attention to the stupid videos and slides and diagrams and he was fairly certain they'd all been disease-ridden and painful-looking.

Chad shrugged as the two of them walked. "The intimacy part. The closeness."

And Ishida thought about that—the scenes of people touching, skin-on-skin and closer to one another than Uryuu had ever been to anyone else in his life, even if they'd just been actors in a stupid instructional video. He'd only been looking at it as a stupid instructional video, a warning, a diagram to disaster. Eyeing Sado beside him, the Quincy wondered what the other boy had seen.

He cleared his throat, suddenly curious. "Have you ever… that is… I mean… have you…"

"No," Chad answered, looking thoughtful. "But I've dreamed." Pause. "Have you?"

Ishida let that hang in the air for a moment, between them. After all, what fifteen year old boy didn't? Dream, that was.

"Of course I… Ahem. But I… that's not the same, right? Fantasy is far removed from reality, after all."

Chad eyed him. "What'd you dream about?"

Ishida sputtered. "Stuff! You know… the usual…stuff. Pretty girls and boobs and short skirts. Normal stuff!" Definitely not anyone he knew, or had made out with recently. Definitely.

Chad simply chuckled. "Oh."

A beat.

And then Ishida cleared his throat, stood up straighter even though his face was burning. "And you? What did you, uh…dream of?"

Chad just looked at him for a while.

Ishida's throat felt dry.

"You a few times," Chad admitted, after a very long moment. Ishida was sometimes very annoyed at the other boy's ability to own up to things and make it all seem very normal and not awkward at all.

Ishida swallowed. Sighed. "O-oh." Pause. "And the uh…the other times?"

Chad smiled. "The normal stuff."

"Oh. Was it weird?"

Chad shook his head. "In a way. And nice. The closeness." A beat. "No pus or anything either."

Ishida made a face. "Yes, well. Thank you for clarifying that."

They walked in silence for a while.

And then, "And um, what were we um… doing? You know, when it was…us?"

Ishida expected to be laughed at for that sort of naïve question, but he figured they were near enough to his apartment how that if it got too unbearable he could always make a quick excuse and sprint the last block on his own.

Besides, the curiosity was killing him.

Belatedly—and with no small amount of irony—he wondered if this curiosity he was experiencing now was exactly what the school administration and health officials were trying to quell in today's youth in the first place.

But Chad didn't laugh at him, simply blinked and continued to look thoughtful. "I'm not sure, exactly," he admitted after a second. "It felt good. At least… I dreamed that it had." Pause. "Waking up was a little less pleasant."

Ishida turned bright red and inwardly cursed Sado's unflappable nature. Again.

On the plus side, Uryuu was no longer thinking about pus or cysts or burning piss or pneumonia or fever.

Curious, curious. This sex stuff really was dangerous after all.

"What er… what do two guys do anyway?" he posed, and his voice cracked halfway through the question.

Chad blinked. "I'm not really sure."

Ishida chuckled nervously. "They didn't cover that in class at all, did they?"

"No," Chad agreed, and they reached the steps leading up to his apartment then.

Ishida cleared his throat. "We uh… we should file a complaint. That's terribly biased of them."

Chad smiled. "I think it's fine. I'm more of a hands-on learner anyway."

Ishida stared. Swallowed. "Really?" Dangerous. This was definitely dangerous.

Chad however, only nodded as the Quincy lingered unconsciously on the steps leading up to his place.

A beat.

And then, "You want to come upstairs for dinner? It's just leftovers, but there's enough for…"


Ishida's heart flipped in his chest.

Sado motioned to follow him up the stairs then, and as he fumbled nervously with the keys to his apartment once they reached his door—his heart was beating a million miles a minute in his chest and he felt warm all over—Ishida couldn't help but wonder why those stupid sexual education videos never mentioned anything about this. The sweaty palms, the blood pounding in his ears, the nervous excitement curling in his belly and slowly reaching outward with each forward step.

Not a word about any of those in class today. Not even a blurb, a footnote, a caption.

Chad reached out then, put a big hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Okay?" he asked, gently.

"Ah, yes. Okay," Uryuu assured him. "Okay."

The taller boy smiled.

Ishida smiled back, and after another deep breath or two, finally got his hands to stop shaking.

He sighed in relief as the door finally opened, and buoyed by Chad's reassuring presence, supposed it would simply be his duty to report faithfully back to his peers regarding the matter of their mis-education come morning. Because looking at Sado, he felt like today's lesson had somehow, missed the most important part about this whole sex thing altogether.

Chad said nothing as he closed the door behind them.