To Conquer the Impossible

A Fullmetal Alchemist fan fiction by Hitokiri-san

A/N: A really short Valentine fic idea that suddenly popped up in my mind and refused to be left unwritten. I've studied Shakespeare's 'Twelfth Night' about two years ago, and the image of Roy reciting Shakespeare to an unimpressed Riza has stuck in my mind recently. So, on with the fic!


When Edward returned to the Central Headquarters on the 14th of February, Al in tow, it was to find the Colonel doing some sort of a solo performance in front of his bewildered subordinates. As Ed craned closer out of curiosity, he could see that Mustang was attempting to impress - surprise of all surprises - the only female staff under his command. Who, of course, went by the name of Riza Hawkeye.

"...Write loyal cantons of contemned love, And sing them loud even in the dead of night;" Mustang took a purposeful step towards Hawkeye, plopping a box of heart-shaped chocolates into her lap. Winking in what he apparently thought was a sensual way, he continued.

"Halloo your name to the reverberate hills, And make the babbling gossip of the air, Cry out 'Riza!'. O..." He stopped short as Hawkeye raised a hand to halt his recital, her expression bored.

"Thank you for the effort, Colonel, but I have read 'Twelfth Night'." she said with a smirk, plucking a little book titled 'Shakespeare 101' out of Roy's coat pocket. "And if I remember correctly, it should be "Cry out 'Olivia'" instead of 'Cry out 'Riza'"."

At Mustang's deflated look, she smiled; one that sent the Colonel scrambling back to his desk and her colleagues promptly returning to their original work. "Also, Colonel, I have to remind you that these documents are to be signed today, or you will regret existing "Between the elements of air and earth"."

When she walked away with the chocolates, everyone in the room was suitably cowed.

"Okay..." Edward emerged from behind the door, blinking in confusion, "so what's the deal?"

"Nothing. Just our Chief trying to conquer the impossible." Havoc replied dryly.

"But she did take the chocolates." Fury said in a small voice, looking up from his own pile of papers.

"Probably to feed them to Black Hayate. After all, there's no point in wasting perfectly good chocolates." Breda concluded, and the men returned to their work.

Ed's brows furrowed in bafflement, before he decided that he didn't really wanted to know. If it had to do with Roy and chocolates and women, it probably concerned a field of knowledge that he could do without.


Omake:

The next day, Roy stalked up to Hawkeye, a determined gleam in his eyes.

"Riza Hawkeye, may you not rest as long as I am living!" he faltered, obviously forgetting the next few lines, and continued with renewed vigor.

"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

Ending his melodramatic performance, he looked up to see how his recital had been received. Only to find himself looking at a decidedly irate lieutenant.

"Unfortunately, Colonel, I have read 'Wuthering Heights' as well. And you do realize that this particular speech is meant to be made to a dead lover."

Roy blinked. And, after Riza had walked away, threatened to burn any subordinate who had the gall to snicker behind his back.

Later that day, when Ed found the Colonel in an exceedingly bad mood, (and muttering something about "thought something not written in the freaking Elizabethan times would do the trick") he didn't even ask.