Author's Notes: Just blame it on my perverted teenage mind. This is for all you HPDM lovers out there! And for those of you who don't know, that means SLASH! I want no flames, 'cause I warned you! As you'll probably be able to tell by the end, I don't like Ron. Hehe.

Harry Potter's Bedroom Secrets
(As Told by Ronald Weasley)

Ronald Weasley wasn't known as the most intelligent student at Hogwarts (that place was taken by his friend Hermione Granger). In fact, he was known to be rather thick-headed. But even he knew to put up a good, strong Silencing Charm when enjoying a good wank.

Unfortunately, his other friend, Harry Potter, didn't seem to know how to do that.

Ron had just finished his nightly wank, and he was still riding on the euphoria of imagining Hermione in a lacy black brassiere to take off the Silencing Charm around his bed immediately. When he did calm down and take it off, he was rather shocked at what he was hearing.

Listening intently (for the sounds coming from his best friend's bed were rather quiet, but still somehow easy to hear if you listened close enough), he could hear a male shuddering and slick smacking sounds from around the closed Gryffindor-red curtains.

Oh, God. There was no way Harry could be making those sounds by himself. He was . . . he was . . . oh, God.

His friend had just released a pleasurable, throaty moan.

It was odd, but he felt himself getting hard again. Ron had never heard (or seen, for that matter) anybody doing . . . that . . . before.

"Oh . . ."

Ron's eyes got wide when he heard yet another moan. He felt for sure that the other three occupants of the room would wake soon and discover Harry and this mysterious lover.

"Oh, Ri . . ." a deep male voice groaned, gasping.

Ah . . . It seemed that Harry's bed-buddy had a pet-name for him. Wasn't that just sweet? Wait . . . did he know that voice from anywhere? It seemed awfully familiar. . . .

His thoughts were cut off when Harry released yet another moan, making Ron's ears go red.

It couldn't be happening! Harry had always been so innocent, except for when—

"Oh, Draco . . ."

Ron's ears bled.