Authoress's Note: I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this, but I figured 'Hey, what the heck? Why not?' So I'm posting it anyway. It gets a bit hardcore (for me, at least) during the interlude, so I've marked it off just in case you don't want to read it. Its pretty obvious after the interlude anyway, so you can live without reading it. I promise. :D


Harry Potter's Bedroom Secrets
(As Told by Professor Snape)


Severus nearly vomited when he walked upon a scene of impending pandemonium in the Great Hall that morning. The stone walls, the tables, the benches—everything seemed to covered in a repeating collage of permanently stuck photographs that revealed to him disturbing things that he never wished to know of.

Ever.

The gruesome images consisted of some of the worst things Severus had ever set eyes on. A happy scene of Draco smiling and drinking Butterbeer, looking at Potter with what could only be described as endearment; Potter himself appeared to have previously sloshed his own drink down his front, if the dark stain on his shirt and embarrassed look on his face were anything to go by.

There was one of them holding hands in Honeydukes.

And another one of the two sharing a chocolate-covered strawberry in Honeydukes.

Yet another scene consisted of the two making out in a dark alley where no one was supposed to see them, obviously.

How could Severus have not noticed it? Draco was his favorite student—practically his own son—and he had apparently been dating Potter secretly for quite some time. How had this notorious affair gone on without his noticing or consent? Not that he would have given his consent. Potter was an arrogant brat, strutting through the halls just as his father had before him.

Draco could do so much better.

Severus resolutely ignored the empty plate before him, instead choosing to sneer becomingly at the four tables of chattering students.

He could not stand happiness.

Speaking of happiness and all things dark and dreary, Severus had lessons soon, and his first class—seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins.

Severus smirked in anticipation. He could have so much fun with the two lovebirds.

The thought of the two as lovebirds all but made him hurl.

oOoOo

Severus strode into the classroom, robes billowing behind him as the door to the Potions dungeon closed with a bang behind him. The students were watching him apprehensively, slumped in their little groups of two and three in the desks made only for two. Severus turned to face them with his hands clasped behind his back.

"Today we will be brewing a very comprehensive and challenging potion; to most of you, it would be unwise to attempt, but you shall attempt it anyway. You will working in groups of two that I have already chosen. As I call your names, go sit next to your partner," Severus said with a sneer, watching as many of the Gryffindor students gulped and stared glumly down at their stations.

"Granger … Parkinson, Zabini … Finnigan, Longbottom … Goyle, Weasley … Crabbe, Potter … Malfoy. . . ."

As he spoke, some students moved to sit next to their respective partners. Draco and Potter didn't seem to look too unpleased at the groups.

Severus sneered, "Turn to page three hundred and sixty-eight. The potion we will be attempting today is called Amortentia. . . ."

-HARDCORE-

(A Brief Interlude in the Boys' Point-of-View. . . .)

Harry was bored, and, by the looks of it, his boyfriend seemed to be paying rapt attention to whatever Snape was rambling on about, as usual. Harry couldn't care less, but he had never been that interested in Potions.

That was Draco's job, because Draco actually enjoyed Potions.

And Harry had Other Things on his mind, because Harry happened to be Horny. And a Horny Harry was not something to be ignored. . . .

Harry took a quick glance around the room, noticing that their station was positioned near the middle of the classroom, not completely hidden, but not obviously noticeable either.

He ran a finger slowly up Draco's thigh, starting from near the kneecap and going ever closer to his boyfriend's hidden treasure, eliciting a quiet gasp from said boyfriend. Harry settled his hand where Draco's thigh ended and the hipbone began, rubbing gently but not getting any closer to said hidden treasure.

Draco was glaring at him now, obviously holding in a loud moan and oh, so hard.

Oh, God, he hoped Harry got just a little bit closer to his goal.

Harry's hand was inching ever closer—Draco could feel it's warm heat causing goose bumps as he maintained the appearance of paying attention to Professor Snape.

Now he was rubbing gently over Draco's covered erection, and the tortured boy was struggling not to whimper. Harry had never done this in such a public place. . . .

And in the next instant, when Snape's attention was diverted so that he could yell at Longbottom, Harry Potter mysteriously disappeared from his chair and his head reappeared between Draco's legs, frantically undoing the button and pulling the zipper down so he could enjoy his prize.

The rest need not be explained.

-HARDCORE ENDS-

oOoOo

"Amortentia is one of the most potent love potions currently existing. It gives off steam that can be easily recognized by its characteristic spirals. The potion, when made properly, gives off a different scent to each individual person based on what they find attractive. If you make the potion properly, I want to two-foot-long essay on the properties of Amortentia and what scents appeal to you. If you do not make it properly, I want a three-foot-long essay detailing how to make it properly since you obviously can't—"

Severus stopped mid-lecture—something in the room didn't feel right.

He scoured the students, but nothing there seemed to be amiss until—what was wrong with Draco? His godson was biting his lip and practically trembling.

And that was when he noticed it. Harry Potter, the Boy Wonder himself, seemed to be missing.

"Where is Potter?" he asked the class, who all turned to look at where Draco was sitting with a now somewhat stricken look on his face.

Granger started giggling, and it was at that point Severus realized that a pair of scruffy black shoes was protruding at a rather awkward angle from Draco's station. No one could be sitting down and have their feet in that position.

Unless they were on their knees. . . .

Severus actually threw up this time.