Good Grief
By S-Chrome & Dr. Vainglorious

("Yeeeeaaaaahhh! All right!")

Disclaimer: Yori & Tara are owned and manipulated by Disney. Speaking of which, I haven't seen Tara in the fourth season of KP thus far. So we're like... WHAT THE HELL?! However... we'll get around that... won't we?

From the creators of "Straight Shooter," we bring you... ah, skip it.


She sincerely missed the old days of high school. She missed the glitz, the glamour, and of course, the myth that was the food chain. But all of that was in the rearview now. After all, Tara King, one of the former cheerleaders of Middleton High was now in Upperton University, eagerly in the pursuit of higher learning and education.

Thus, if she was in the pursuit of higher learning and education, what was the blonde-haired girl doing right now?

Well, what was she doing other than relaxing in her dorm room, winding down from another tough day of classes and getting ready for the weekend?

She was keeping watch over Brick Flagg? What in the world was that about? OK, who put her up to this?

"Are you sure you haven't seen him flirting with any girls?" The concerned, and abover all that, probably jealous voice of Bonnie Rockwaller asked over the cellphone.

"Yes, B. He's totally magnanimous," Tara answered calmly.

"Don't you mean 'monogamous'?"

"Yeah, that too," the blonde added. Sometimes it was tough being the elder of friends. Sure, Bonnie led and she followed loyally, but most of the time it was the advice of her's that Bonnie would often listen to... even if she listen to that advice about .293 percent of the time. And that number is fairly approximate. It may be more or less if you add the probability of...

Even though Tara was the elder, Bonnie was more of the take-charge type while she was just comfortable with being where she was in the world, though she was very much subject to the brunette dragging her around through the earlier years of their lives. All that aside, they managed to stay the best of friends, despite the fact that they hung with different crowds and were two very different people.. In some cases, Tara liked to think of herself as Bonnie's older sister.

Check that, Bonnie's older sister that didn't happen to be a total bitch.

"Is that all you wanted to talk to me about, B? I'm so disappointed," Tara said, her voice mocking disappointment. The truth was that she was always happy to hear a familiar voice on the other end of the line. Keeping up with old friends was always good for her, and kept her morale up from moments that were totally boring...

...like, buckling down and actually studying.

"Actually, no... I wondering if you were interested coming down to Middleton for the weekend. You know, to... catch up old some old times, or whatever..."

"Sure... I don't see why not," the blonde replied, easing back in her reclining chair.

She couldn't see why not? What about because she have an early semester term paper due on Tuesday of the next week? Nah... not important enough.

"Great!" Bonnie said. The brunette then checked herself. She sounded a bit too excited. "I-I mean, cool... when can you be in town?"

"Around Saturday afternoon," Tara replied. "This is going to be great...I can't wait to catch up on some... old acquaintances."

On the opposite side of the line, the brunette had to roll her eyes, mostly because she could feel the blonde swoon on the other end. Older sister that wasn't a total bitch or not, she couldn't believe Tara still held a torch for that guy. She knew exactly who the blonde was talking about when she spoke about "old acquaintances." The brunette found it unbelievable that she still hadn't outgrown the crush she had on... well, the name itself made the cheerleader go pale. She didn't judge, though... well, actually, she did constantly. Usually in the form of shaking her head or crossing arms whenever when Tara daydreamed of him.

But seriously, how could a nice girl like Tara crush on the bottom-of-the-barrel fodder Ron Stoppable? The answer was much beyond her reasoning. However, she knew exactly how to foil it. Sure, it would be painful for her best friend, but the brunette figured that it was for her own good.

"Seriously, Tara... how could you still be crushing on that... froob? I-I mean, it's been three years!"

"He's not a froob, Bonnie," Tara groused. "You never even gave him a chance... not even now. He's so nice, and humble... and-and... modest, and..."

As Tara went through the entire Webster's dictionary of worthy adjectives to describe her beloved Ron Stoppable, Bonnie searched her room vehemently for an extra large hurl-bag.

"...he's cute, and brave.. and..."

Opening Time! The tanned beauty quickly grew a thin smile.

"...Already taken," she said flatly.

Tara stuttered violently, much akin to disc jockeys scratching vinyl records.

"Wh-wh-wh-wh-(erre, erre)-wh-what?!"

"I wouldn't lie to you, T," the brunette replied coolly.

"What? Who?" She demanded frantically.

In about three second's time, the entire world that Tara had used to know came crumbling down with a thunderous ka-pow. Ron Stoppable, taken? That just couldn't be right! He was the boy of her dreams, even if he didn't know it! There must have been some kind of mistake or something! The wrong info... or something! The bombshell was enough to raise the freshman college student out of her seat and get to a standing position.

Even worse was the fact that Bonnie was stalling.

"I'm not sure I should tell you," she said.

"Well I'm sure you should tell me."

"OK, but don't say I didn't warn you... and... I'm sure you're gonna love this..." Bonnie said before dropping the name.

4!

3!

2!

1!

0!

Aaaaand... start the eruption with volcanic ash and magma!

"NO! IT COULDN'T BE!" Tara yelled into the mouthpiece.

At this point, Tara was experiencing Stage One of the Five Stages of Stoppable Loss; a new disorder going through multiple circles now that Ron Stoppable had a girlfriend. For another example, we head to the Far East, at the exact same time:


"Ooomphh! But... it's true!"

"Stoppable-san has a girlfriend? I don't believe you, Hirotaka-san! How could you say something so dishonorable?"

On the wrong end of the floor, the handsome warrior known as Hirotaka was pleading his case.

"B-but, it's true, Yori-san. I got the information from the National Enquirer!"

Yori, the black-haired Japanese girl took her foot off of the boy's throat for a moment to take in the information that was just given to her.

"The National Enquirer?" She asked fearfully, taking her foot off of the beaten-up boy's throat for the moment

Hirotaka nodded weakly before passing out.

She then dropped to her knees and bellowed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


You see, denial was not just a river in Egypt, gentlemen and ladies. Plus, that old proverb, friends, was even more cliché than the loser getting the pretty girl at the end of a series. Meanwhile, back in the fine town of Middleton, Bonnie couldn't believe that Tara was taking this as bad as she was. It was fairly sad on the sad-o-meter. The girl was damn near inconsolable. Bonnie tried to put some reason into why Ron and his girlfriend hooked up.

"I mean, come on, Tara. You saw what happened at the dance last summer," the brunette cheerleader said expectantly.

"Well, yeah, but I thought that was a one-time thing!" Tara whined.

"One-time thingers don't make out like that on the dance floor," Bonnie replied plainly.

Tara was very much on the verge of water-logging herself with bitter tears. This was so not fair!

"But after I graduated, didn't he say anything about me... or even notice that I was gone?"

"Uh, Tara... he's so wrapped up in Possible and vice-versa that he probably wouldn't recognize you if you stepped up to him."

The blonde girl's expression changed dramatically from teary-eyed and pathetic to positively murderous and ticked off. The ill-fated dreams of romantic fate and people destined to be together went straight out the window, along with the kitchen sink. She growled dangerously as she placed her free hand on her forehead to prevent herself from absolutely blowing a gasket.

(Ladies & Gentlemen, this is Stage Two: Anger.) ... Meanwhile, in the Far East, at the exact same time:


Who was to question a girl with a blade in her hand and murderous thoughts on her mind?

The Answer: No one.

Outright anger was usually looked down in the Yamanouchi Ninja School. Therefore, the incensed Yori decided to try to channel all of her anger into something more constructive.

Maneuvering the blade in her hand, the Japanese girl bobbed and weaved as if she was avoiding an attack from an powerful opponent. When she felt that she had an opening, she kicked over her opponent, or at least a dummy of her opponent over. Feeling the her job wasn't done yet, she sank the blade in the midsection of her stationary foe, followed by stabbing it several more times... and then tearing into the poor dummy with her teeth.

When she was finished with... a quite violent display of savage fighting techniques, the poor training dummy was reduced to just a head.

Whose head, you ask?

Oh, no one major... just the head of a smiling Kim Possible. That wasn't enough to raise eyebrows, was it?


"I tried to warn you, T," Bonnie said, as holier-than-thou as she could possibly get. "That's why I never took a chance of total losers like tha..."

In an instant, Tara said something that most people would have never had a chance to say. We, at the ranch wondered what she was going to say.

She roared into the mouthpiece. "Shut. Up. Bonnie!"

Hey, if that what you thought she would say, give yourself a gold star.


Typical. Typical. Atypical.

Well, Tara was finally in Middleton once again, and couldn't be more disgusted by it. The lies and the deceit that went on in this quiet town were simply awful. The golden sunshine and the clean air of her hometown could bring the blonde girl out of her funk. When she would come up with positive thoughts, everything would just storm back to her goofy blond crush. If she only had made things more clear to the mascot about her affections toward him, he would have probably have known. But it was too late for that... and that truth hurt the former cheerleader ever so much.

If she could only turn back the hands of time... she would have made things a lot more clearly to Ron.

No... That couldn't happen. It was already October, and from what Bonnie had told her, that would mean that Ron & Kim would have been hooked up for the better part of four months. Therefore, he must've been happy with her and likewise.

The blonde girl must've missed something. Before that dance, Ron and Kim were the best of friends and that's where it stopped. How was in the world was Kim able to get through to Ron where her attempts to woo him failed miserably?

Ergh! Why couldn't guys be observant for once in their damn lives? Ron not knowing couldn't have been her fault!

(You guessed it; Tara was experiencing the Third & Fourth Stage, which is Bargaining & Projected Anger). Meanwhile, in the majestic mountains of Japan, at more or less the exact same time... had it not been sixteen hours ahead of Middleton :)


Just one more time. She just needed to travel to Middleton for one last time. She just needed to tell the boy how she really felt.

They shared a bond of honor? How in the hell was anyone, least of all an American, supposed to figure that kind of subtlety?

M-maybe she could use the Lotus Blade to reverse time to that point on the bridge... so she could tell the truth to the American boy, and then... maybe.

No. That wasn't feasible. The blade was heavily guarded and she barely knew how to use it. That was totally out of the question.

Possible-san & Stoppable-san? How did it happen? And, furthermore, how could Kim win over Ron between the search for Sensei and the present?

The girl's brown eyes flashed dangerously... she knew of what it was. This was the price that she paid for being honorable and subtle? She wasn't sure how girls in the West handled business with boys that they liked, but if Kim went to a level of... dishonor to capture the heart of the blond, then the blame was not on her, but to Ron himself.

But, if Ron were here right now, Yori would have probably made out with him... only in the most honorable way possible.


Ron Stoppable was flying high. He was the starting running back of the Middleton High Mad Dogs football team, his grade were on the up-and-up, and to top it all off with a cherry, he had himself a girlfriend in the lovely form of his best friend, Kim Possible. For the first time in some time, everything was looking up for the messy-haired blond boy. Oh, yeah. The Ron-dog was flying high. But, how high was he flying, you ask?

Flying high enough to sing the theme of flying high... Indeed!

"We fly high, no lie, you know this..."

"Boo-Yah!" His mole rat, Rufus yelled.

"Mad Dogs Pride, oh my, stay focused."

"Boo-Yah!"

That's right... Ballin'. Complete with fade-away jump shot.

"We fly high... Whoa!"

A chill in the air stopped the boy from his... singing and a-ballin'. But it wasn't that literal chill in the air that rattled the sidekick enough to make him stop. It was something else... something in his being was telling him something. He had the feeling that something was about to go down in the near future. He wasn't exactly sure what it was, but he could almost feel something about to happen.

Maybe he felt that because at the same time when he had felt a chill in the air, both Tara and Yori had realized the final stage of their grieving at the same time... give or take a couple of minutes, passing over the International Date Line, and what-not. Once this stage was completed, only then their suffering and second-guessing would finally end for once and for all... and the final stage was none other than...

Kim Possible must die.

Oh... and what a stage it was.


The End

Indeed, this was a joint collaboration between S-Chrome & Dr. Vainglorious. Who was writing what, one would ask?

S-Chrome wrote the portions with Tara.

Dr. Vainglorious wrote the portions with Yori.

And the rest was thought up by some guy who had a tremendously-sized Afro-pick.

Questions? Comments? Escape plans for K.P.? Review!