Disclaimer: I do not own anything that sounds familiar to you whats so ever :)
A/N: I have a feeling I'm going to be saying this a lot, but this story is SIX years old!lol. I want to apologize for any mistakes that might have escaped me and my beta. I hope you guys like this better version. I do! Enjoy!
I woke up with the sun shining bright on my face. It was one of those rare moments when time seemed to stop. I turned to the sound of my rocking chair as it rolled on the wood floor. There he was almost like an illusion, but this was no dream. I had rescued him from the Volturi and now he was back with me. I was scared to react to him in fear that he might disappear. I didn't trust him and that brought sadness to me, but once he looked at me with that smile of his I realized he was here to stay. I smiled and gladly jumped into his arms as he rocked us on my chair. I nuzzled my head on his chest. He was real and here with me. I felt complete; as cheesy as that sounded, it was true.
"So, what are our plans for today?" I asked
"Did you have anything in mind?" He asked in return
"No. Usually you have something planned for us" I said
"Bella, I'm just human, is not like I have all the days of our life planed" He said smirking
"I know, but you always have something for us to do" I said once again
"Well, Alice wanted me to bring you around. If you would like" Edward said
"Of course. I've missed her as much as I've missed you" I said looking at him
His eyes showed sadness before pulling me into a kiss. He was doing that a lot lately. I guess it was his way of making up for the time lost. I gladly embraced him as our lips tentatively moved against one another. Goosebumps covered my body as his cold hand touched my bare back. He pressed me closer to his chest and I hungrily ran my hands through his hair. In a matter of seconds we were standing and he had me at an arms length. I breathed heavily and once I had my hormones in check I looked at him embarrassed.
"I'm sorry" I said
"You never cease to amaze me" He said smiling as he caressed my face, "You should get ready" He added by kissing my forehead
I nodded and I walked off to the bathroom. I was glad I had taken a shower last night. I changed out of my pajamas and into some jeans and t-shirt. I was just finishing putting my hair in a ponytail when suddenly I felt like something was wrong. My heart raced and suddenly Edward was at my side. Before he could say anything the phone rang. I ran to it in as if my life depended on it.
"Hello" I said nervously as I answered
"Is Ms. Isabella Swan there?" A woman asked
"Yes, this is her" I answered
"I'm sorry to inform you that your father has been involved in an accident" She said
My knees buckled lightly, but Edward held a tight grip around my waist.
"What happened?" I asked with a shaky voice
"He was been admitted to the hospital with a serious injury..." She started to say and I cut her off
"Is he going to be okay?" I asked and there was a long pause which made me nervous
"They are doing all that is possible. We suggest you come as soon as possible" She said and with those words everything changed
"I understand I'll be there" I said almost monotonous and hung up
"I'll take you" Edward said and I didn't argue
For once I needed his fast driving. I wanted to get there as quickly as possible. Aside from that I don't think I could control my nerves long enough to actually drive. We sat in the car in silence, but Edward tried to break through the awkward atmosphere.
"Are you okay" He asked
"I'm fine" I replied in a harsh tone
"Bella…" He said frustrated, but I cut him off
"Don't… please don't" I whispered and with that he was quiet.
I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was just filled with this anger that seemed to almost ooze out of me. Even so as we approached the hospital it finally hit me. Charlie, my dad, is in critical condition. We got out of the car and I took in deep breaths. Edward was quickly at my side as tears rolled down my cheeks. He wrapped his arms around me for a second before I pushed away from him and made my way inside.
"It's going to be okay" He said as he walked along side me. His words were not comforting, but there was nothing he could do to protect me from the pain.
If I lost Charlie...
I shook off the idea as we walked into the waiting room. To my surprise all the Cullens were there waiting. Alice came to my side quickly engulfing me in a tight hug. At that moment I was gone. I didn't know who I was. I pulled away from her not wanting to feel pitied.
"Bella, I'm really…" Alice started to say, but I cut her off before she could finish
"Don't" I said
Carlisle walked in just in time. He looked at me with regret and I knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth. I shook my head not wanting to believe it or hear it.
"Bella, I'm sorry..." He started saying
"How is he?" I asked with a cracked voice
"It was too late when they brought him to me. There wasn't much I could do" He said
I couldn't look at him anymore. I wanted to crumble to the floor, but then he hugged me which caught me of guard. I pushed him away because I was suddenly angry at him for not saving my father. He could have saved him if he really wanted to.
"You liar! You could have saved him" I screamed at him as I stepped back to face the rest of the Cullens who looked at me with sadness.
"You did it for them! Why not Charlie? You could have..." I said unable to continue
I was gasping as the tears threatened to drown me. All their faces went blank as they realized what I was referring to, but no one said anything. They remained in silence only fueling my anger. I looked away giving them my back and Carlisle didn't look surprised. Without another word he took me to my father. He left me alone as I looked at my father's body. It looked like he was sleeping and my mind started to play tricks on me, but I shook it off.
We had been in bad terms since I got back from Italy. He had grounded me thanks mostly to Jacob, but nevertheless grounded. I couldn't control my overwhelming sadness. It cloaked me in despair as I looked back at my memories with him. He had spent all his time trying to get closer to me while I simply pushed him away. Why did I have to realize everything this way? Why did he have to die?!
"Ma'am, are you okay? You've been here for a really long time" A nurse said as she pointed at the clock. I couldn't believe I had spent all day here, but I wasn't ready to leave. I couldn't leave him behind.
"You should go home and rest. There is nothing you can do by staying here" She said sympathetically
"A couple more minutes" I mumbled as I kept my eyes on him
"He won't go anywhere. We will keep him for a day or two and then he can be prepared for his funeral arrangements" She said
I clenched my hands into fists digging my nails into my palms. I let out of breath and forced myself to look away from him. She was right. There wasn't nothing I could do. Me standing here was not going to bring him back.
"I'll keep in touch" I simply said and walked away
The parking lot was nearly empty except for a couple of cars and my truck. Edward must of dropped it off sometime during the day. I felt lonely without him, but I was glad he was giving me some space. I felt horrible about what I said, but I still believed in my words. They could have saved him. They could have made him immortal like them. I know these thoughts are childish, but he could have been saved. Regardless, I must have really hurt them.
Everything I did was engulfed in a haze. I crawled to my bed zombie-like almost wishing that this was all a dream. I didn't even have time to think of anything as my eyes suddenly felt heavy and I was quickly asleep.
I was still in the same haze in the morning when the phone started ringing. I walked down the stairs stumbling on the last steps. Somebody had been calling all morning, but I was too tired to get out. I was intending on ignoring the calls, but it was now past noon and they were coming in even more frequently. It had gotten annoying.
"Hello" I said annoyed
"Bella!" My mother screamed through the phone
"Mom?" I said confused for a minute
"I had to hear it from Carlisle! I can't believe you didn't call me. Why haven't you answered my calls all morning?" She asked angrily. Her voice was so loud I had to pull the receiver away from my ear.
"I'm sorry. It just skipped my mind" I explained honestly. I had not thought about her until this very moment. What was wrong with me?
"I'm going over right now. I already have a ticket booked" My mother said worried
"That's not necessary. I want to be alone right now" I said
"Bella, this isn't up for discussion" She said
"Please, I need to deal with this on my own"
"Bella, I'm sorry. I can't. You can't handle this. What about the funeral? Have you done the arrangements? Does Charlie's life insurance cover all the costs?" She asked
"I haven't looked into it" I said
"Exactly, you don't know what you're doing. I'm going to be there by tonight" She said and that was the end of it
I wish I had more to say about my dad's funeral, but I was still trapped in my haze. My mother had come and taken care of everything. I never once left my room as for a week people kept coming over and offering their sympathy. Everything had happened so quickly. Before I knew the house was under my name and my father had left me an extreme amount of money as well for my mother. We had been shocked at the amount. It made it even that more sad realizing how much he had us in mind even after we had not been a part of his life. I think my mom took it the hardest. It might sound messed up, but after that it wasn't hard to convince my mom to go back to Phil without me. It wasn't easy for her knowing that he had died still loving her.
I don't know how long it had been since then; maybe weeks. I had only gotten that more depressed as the hunger didn't bother me anymore. I was inside this home all the time and the gray sky made it difficult to tell the time. I was getting up for the first time today and when I stood up my legs were weak. They buckled under me and I fell. It was almost a shock and for the first time I realized it... Edward, he wasn't with me. I guess this was rock bottom, but I didn't understand why I had to go through this. I got up weakly without a real destination in mind, but found myself in Charlie's room. I fell on top of his bed and covered my face with his pillow as I cried and screamed all my pain out.
I wasn't even close with being finished when I heard someone come in and I turned around surprised. Rosalie stood at the foot of the bed looming over menacingly. I scrambled to my feet quickly.
"Are you done wallowing?" She said glaring at me
"What?" I asked confused
"All you've done is wallow in pity while my family mourns over you. You've hurt him greatly and you've hurt all of us" She said
"I'm sorry" was all I could say as I lowered my head
"Bella…" She said, but I continued talking
"It's all my fault. I feel so responsible for everything even though I know there was nothing I could possibly do or you guys. I'm so sorry" I said crying
"Bella, its okay. Calm down" She said
"I'm sorry" I said once again quietly as I wiped tears away
"Bella, I'm sorry I shouldn't have barged in like this. I was just so frustrated because you had completely shunned everyone out of you life. My family is worried about you to death. Carlisle told us to give you time, but I guess I got too impatient. I'm truly sorry about your father" She said
"Thank you" I said awkwardly
"But I'm still angry with you. I don't care about how much pain you were in because it still didn't give you the right to act the way you did" She said almost like how a big sister would scold a younger sibling. I was going to speak up but she lifted her hand to stop me
"I came to tell you how angry I was and I shouldn't have. I should have given you your time and for that I apologize, but I'm still mad. You acted like a child" She finished saying and I simply lowered my head and nodded
"Can you take me to your house?" I asked
"Yeah" She said
I walked around her to get ready, but stopped. What if they didn't want to see me? After all it had been Rosalie to come see me and no one else. What about Edward? He hadn't once come to see me. What if that meant something? What did that mean?
I don't think I could handle losing him too...
"I can't" I said
"Tell them that I'm sorry and that I will go see them soon. I hope they understand and... tell Edward that I love him" I added just as she was walking out
"See you at Graduation" She said casually and she was gone
I was in shock as I hurried to the calendar in my room. Only then did I notice the date. Tomorrow was my graduation and then now I was truly shocked. My stomach sank and I fell on my bed. Weeks had passed already and I had been barricaded in my house away from everyone. How did I survive? I wondered as the minutes seemed to tick away while I was unable to sleep. Just as I thought my eyes were finally giving in my alarm sounded. Great.
This was the most I had done this whole time. I took a shower and quietly sat on my bed looking at my open closet. Graduation was a hour away and yet here I sat undecided. It didn't really matter to me at this point as I spotted a dress that I had bought some time ago. It was black, strapless and a little below my knees. It was simple, but I liked it and so I put it on. Everything else just followed nicely. I grabbed half of my hair in a ponytail and the rest I let down. I looked innocent like I was going to a school dance or something rather than to my high school graduation. I put some eyeliner, black eye shadow and colored my lips pink. I looked a little older not like a girl going to her first dance anymore. I wanted to smile, but as everything threatened to crumble I heard people downstairs. I walked downstairs to see my mom and Phil dressed for the occasion and I hugged them both.
"Oh, honey you look so sweet" She said complimenting me and I blushed
"Thanks" I said shyly
"There's one thing missing" She said
"What?" I said looking down at my outfit
She took out a necklace that was gorgeous. It was black except with a small diamond the color of Edward's eyes that I've grown to love.
"What's wrong? You didn't like it?" My mom said worried
"No, of course I did. I love it!" I said hugging her
She put it on me. I smiled as she placed a small kiss on my cheek. Phil drove to the school and the butterflies in my stomach were driving me insane as he parked the car. My mother knew me well and of course noticed.
"How are you?" She asked
"Good as it gets" I said straightening myself getting ready to get out
"I feel horrible. I should have stayed longer" She said tearing up
"Mom, look I'm okay" I said trying my hardest to smile
"Barely" She said taking a hold of my hand, "Look at you. It looks like you haven't eaten in days or slept either. I'm afraid you going to collapse on me or something" She said looking at me intently
"Do I look that horrible?" I asked
"No, you look gorgeous, but when I really look at you I can see it" She said
"Okay..." I said quietly
"Getting home, you and I are going to talk and take a long nap together, Got it?" She said and I laughed
"Okay, mom" I said
I got out and maybe too fast because I got dizzy. I leaned against the car and wrapped my arms around my stomach. I hadn't eaten anything in awhile so my stomach should be empty, but something was coming up quickly.
"Honey, what's wrong?" My mom asked worried at my side
"Not feeling so good" I admitted
"It's probably nerves that's all" She said
Before I could say anything I was bending over and throwing up. Only liquid came out of my stomach since there wasn't anything to throw up. Luckily it didn't get on me. Once I was finished my mom handed me a napkin to wipe my mouth. I laughed as she handed me a toothbrush with toothpaste.
"You're my daughter. How could I not be prepared for this" She said as I grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste
I brushed my teeth and rinsed with a bottle of water. My mom hugged me encouragingly as we made our way to the ceremony. Unlike most schools, ours was inside the gym since it looked like it was about to rain and the size of the class was small enough to fit in it. I sat between people who I hadn't even talked to once. I had spotted Edward and Alice quickly enough when I first entered the room. My mom didn't notice anything as she found two available seats next to Carlisle and Esme. Coincidence? I don't think so. I was glad when the Ceremony started on time.
Edward's and Alice's were one of the first names called. I smiled when I saw them walk to get their diplomas. They both reacted like normal teenagers even thought they had countless diplomas accumulated over the years. They took their seats and a new set of names were being called. I wanted to pay attention, but I was distracted by the Cullens' presence. The whole time I kept stealing glances at them, but none of them looked at me except Rosalie. She gave me a smile when she noticed me staring. I nodded in return as I tried to give her a smile.
Then suddenly my name being called surprised me. I got up awkwardly as I walked down the narrow isle to the stage. Nothing was easy for me so as I took the first steps up to the stage I tripped. I almost fell first into the steps, but luckily I caught myself before falling. I heard snickering, making me blush an even deeper red. I got to my feet clenching my right hand. My wrist felt sprained or broken because it hurt really badly, but I held in the stinging pain. As I got closer to our principal I began to feel dizzy and my throat suddenly felt dry. My eyelids felt like they were carrying weight and as I let out a rough breath, I stumbled. I was starting to feel clammy as I grabbed my diploma. I could barely hear my own thank you when I turned around trying to shake off the feeling of lightness.
It won't be long...
I told myself as I started down the steps, but then everything seemed to melt away. I heard a loud scream, but I didn't realize that it was coming from me when I felt myself falling off stage. I was ready to feel the ground underneath me, but instead I felt arms. I opened my eyes to see Mike holding me. I wanted to thank him but I couldn't. I let out moans of pain as I tried to pull away from him. Then as I was closing my eyes I heard Carlisle.
"Move out my way. I can help" He said and I now felt the floor underneath me
"Bella?" He asked
"Carlisle" I replied weakly
"Bella, tell me what's wrong?" He asked worried as he quickly looked me over before turning to face some one else, "Call for an ambulance" He demanded
"My head feels like it's going to explode..." I couldn't continue as I closed my eyes
"Bella?" He said as he tried to keep me awake
"I feel so tired" I said crying
"Bella don't go to sleep" He demanded
"Why?" Someone asked from the crowd
"If I'm correct, all this depression, lack of sleep, lack of eating and stress then I'm afraid... her mind might shut down to get some rest which means she might end up in a coma" He explained
"When is the ambulance coming?" He was screaming and then I heard his angelic voice
"It should be getting here in a few minutes" He said and I turned to look at him, but my eyes barely fluttered opened before closing again
"Don't go to sleep Bella! Don't give up on me, Dam it!" He screamed as he shook me
"Edward calm down!" Carlisle ordered
"Edward…." I whispered so low that I knew no human ears could hear, but the Cullens, "I'm sorry. I'm just so tired" I finished saying
"Bella, you have to stay awake" He pleaded as he patted my cheeks lightly trying to keep me awake
He hugged me suddenly and before I could hug him back my heart raced fast as if it was coming out of my chest. Then all together it stopped and I was surrounded by darkness. For a long time, I thought I was dead.
I don't know how long I was in the darkness, but It wasn't long when I started to realize I was simply immobilized in my own body. I always heard voices from Jessica, Mike, Angela, and even Lauren. They came to see me twice a week. Sometimes they came all together, in pairs or by themselves. The voices that I heard the most of were from the Cullens. They always talked to me and made jokes about each other and laughed. I laughed with them, but I never heard a sound come from me. My mom and Phil came all the time. Recently she told me that she was going to Florida for a couple of days, but that they would be back soon. She mentioned them being away from home for a couple of months which surprised me. Their bills had accumulated and they needed to go fix the problem. Though she had left I never felt alone.
But the only time I truly felt alive was when Edward would kiss me. He would very lightly press his lips against mine for a mere second. Every time he would chuckle and say,
"Even in a coma your heart goes crazy"
It was true. My heart would race every time, but his comment always ended in silence. I knew that seeing me like this was not good for him. So many times I wanted to tell him to leave me and find someone else. I wanted him to forget about me, but I knew that wasn't what I truly wanted. I wanted to be alive again. I wanted this to be a fairy tale where my prince charming's kiss could wake me from my slumber. A girl could dream right?