Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters since Princess Diaries 1 & 2, and its characters are the property of Disney, Buena Vista, and Meg Cabot. I make no money from this work of fiction.

"Darling? Mia is waiting for us, I believe." Joseph came up behind his wife as she stood contemplating one of the paintings in the hallway. He still found it hard to believe that Queen Clarisse had asked him to marry her just two short months ago. He put his hands on his shoulders and nuzzled her ear.

"Hmmm," Clarisse was distracted as she leaned closer and peered at the artwork. "Mrs. Cowt was saying she thought there was a problem with this picture. Joseph, do you think this frame is cracked?"

"Clarisse, do you think I particularly care?" was his rather gruff question. His hands travelled caressingly from her shoulders down her arms.

A moan began to rise in her throat and she started to tremble. "I ...ohhh ..." How could he DO this to her? One touch, and she went up in flames! Wasn't she too old to be reacting in this way to a man, no matter HOW sexy he was? And oh, Joseph was soooo hot, as Mia was fond of describing some of HER sex idols. Clarisse was beginning to pick up her grand-daughter's terminology. "J-Joseph ..."

He nibbled at her ear, and whispered, "Yes?" His hands relentlessly kept up their rhythmic, light movement, sliding to her hips but not pressing hard.

Clarisse's trembling increased as she tried to lean into his hands to have his touch more firm, but he wouldn't allow it. At last, with a gasp of frustration, she grabbed his hands and pressed them to her tightly, pushing her hips back against him and feeling his very obvious arousal. "Mrs. Cowt ..." she began, hearing the woman's voice just around the corner.

"Bloody hell," was the grumbling reply, then Clarisse found herself being guided hurriedly towards the closet just down the hallway. Joseph drew her into the closet and turned the knob to illuminate the cramped area, then flicked the lock on the door.

"Joseph, what ...?"

Before she could finish, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her close while his mouth sought her lips. The taste of her rocketed through him, bringing him alive deep in his soul. He was drowning in her kiss, and all he could think about was wanting more. His hands slipped beneath the shoulders of her jacket and pushed it down her arms. She dropped it uncaringly on the floor, then her hands were at his shoulders, sliding his jacket down and off him.

"I want you, Joseph. Now. This minute." Her faint but firm words were more demand than pleadings.

"In a closet?"

"You locked the door yourself," Clarisse breathed against his lips. She tore at the buttons on his shirt, pulling them loose and pushing the fabric aside until she could rake his bare chest with her fingertips. Each touch was like flames licking at his self control. He shrugged the shirt off and shuddered as her hands swept down his sides and fumbled at the belt and zipper on his pants, pushing them down around his ankles.

He tried to undo the buttons on her blouse, but was shaking too hard, so merely gripped the edges and ripped. They heard the buttons landing around the tiny room, but neither cared. Joseph lifted her up and seated her partially on a shelf, pushing her skirt up around her waist.

It was the wrong place (a CLOSET!) and the wrong time (middle of the day when Mia was expecting them for a conference!), but Joseph was powerless to stop himself. Not when Clarisse was so incredibly responsive to his loving! He fought for control. "Doesn't it strike you as amusing that we are in the same closet Mia and Nicholas were caught in just a few months ago?"

"Not ... not a bit ... Joseph!" she said with a gasp of laughter, writhing under his touch. "Oh ... oh ye-e-es!" her words ended in a low moan as he caressed the backs of her knees.

"Not even a little bit? I see ..." He licked her ear, then blew in it teasingly before sliding back to her lips.

Her breath escaped in a rush. "Must we ... speak of ... Mia and Nicholas ... NOW?" she finally gritted out. "OH!" Joseph's very kiss melted her bones.

Suddenly, to their horror, they heard the unmistakable sounds of someone picking the lock, and the thunk as the lock was released. Before they could move, the door swung open.

Shades was on his knees, his hands still up where the lock had been before an impatient Mrs. Cowt had pushed open the door, saying, "WHO would have left the lights on and locked ...?"

Her voice died as she took in the incredible sight of Joseph's naked posterior, his pants around his ankles, trying to cover the almost nude body of his wife who was backed up to the closet wall against a shelf. The rest of their clothes were strewn around the small room. Queen Clarisse, her upper body and face a brilliant scarlet, closed her eyes so as not to see the shocked, open- mouthed stare of both the housekeeper and the Head of Security.

Then Shades finally reacted and grabbed for the door, slamming it shut again. Through the closed door, Joseph and Clarisse clearly heard Mrs. Cowt's squawk, "THEY WERE IN A CLOSET!"

And they heard a furious Shades say, "Don't you EVER tell me to pick a lock in this palace again when those two are in residence, do you hear? I don't care WHAT you think you need, I am NOT going to be put in this embarrassing position again!"

Mrs. Cowt huffed. "OUR position wasn't QUITE as embarrassing as THEIRS!" and she stomped away. Shades' footsteps retreated in the other direction.

Looking at each other, still frozen in their most revealing position, Joseph and Clarisse suddenly collapsed into almost hysterical laughter.

They had been well and truly caught in a MOST compromising position.

In a closet!!

The END!