Disclaimer: Belongs to JK Rowling
He should feel lucky, honoured that he had this chance to be with her. Not many people had the opportunity to see Hermione Granger like this. She was completely relaxed, not a care in the world. It didn't happen often, and it seemed that the only time she was truly at peace was when she was asleep. He should be happy that she chose him to let her see her like this, at her weakest. The only time she let her guard down completely was when she slept.
Instead he felt guilty, guilty that this brilliant woman was wasting all that she was one him. If anyone didn't deserve her it was him, a lousy pretender was all that he was. He couldn't love her the way she needed. He cared for her, loved her in the only way he could, but it wasn't enough. Everyday he tried to do it the right way, but he couldn't.
He tried to get along with her friends, for her. It never worked, they were stubborn, he was pigheaded, and it any meeting always ended badly. His friends were not much better, the animosity went both ways. He made as much of an effort as he could, forever trying, it never seemed to pay off though. They couldn't go out with either of their friends together, so they spent most of their time alone together, which had it's positives.
That issue they could get past, they would come around eventually. He kicked himself constantly for not savouring what he had, she wasn't going to just up and leave him. He woke up most mornings, wondering if this was the day she realised that he wasn't worth her time, and would go.
He made mistakes, he said the wrong thing, acted before thinking, he wished he would grow up, he tried. This was the way he'd always been, and it wasn't changing. She told him that she didn't mind, she loved him just the way he was. He saw it though, the flash of disappointment in her eyes when he said or did something stupid, but then it was gone, and it left him feeling empty and stupid. He'd spend the next few days making it up to her, before he'd do it all over again.
She stuck around though, much to his surprise, and relief. As much as he knew he didn't deserve her, he would be lost without her. After last night, when he stuffed up royally with Weasley, he knew he had to make it up to her. Maybe, make her up a decent breakfast, and grab her the papers that she liked to read with it. It wasn't much, but it was a step to making it up. Anything to keep her hanging around.
A/N: For kalia-clyde, because it's her birthday, and I don't need any other reason than that I think! ♥