Speak No Evil

I have the tendency to hurt the people I love the most. Some might call it a bad habit. I think it's worse than that. I don't need to be told that I'm obsessive and paranoid. I know it. But it took a dream about Slade to make me realize how brutal I could be to the people who are closest to me. It's this alone that convinces me that there's something inside me that's evil.

My intentions are good. I'm sure of that. Whatever I do, I do for the good of the team; my friends. But somehow that good pretense is lost when I go too far, when I destroy before I've even finished building. I've seen the look in Starfire's eyes when I've lost my cool, how she shrinks under my gaze, and it kills me to do it to her but it never seems to matter until the moment passes and I hate myself for letting it happen.

What's interesting is that I was trained by the Batman, the master of keeping everything together. No emotion escaped him when he didn't want it to. He was brooding, solitary, and obsessive over his cases with little or no regard for is own well being, let alone anyone else's.

Perhaps he taught his sidekick Robin too well.

I can tell when my team, my friends, get irritated when I refuse to leave my room for hours at a time. I've been physically dragged away from work on more than one occasion. All this because I commit the worst kind of evil on an almost weekly basis: letting the people I care about get the worst of me. I stay the most awful things to them, they get the darkest part of my anger. I see how my words affect them, how sometimes they tiptoe around me as if afraid to light the fuse, and I can't let myself get away with speaking such evil.

But I won't let myself get away with verbally abusing the people I love most. It's the job of a hero to fight the evil they senselessly speak, and that's exactly what I intend to do.