A/N: You will know the whole 'know your stars' thing from the Nickelodean Show called "All That"

Disclaimer: Do we look like Stephenie Meyer to you? Nope. We aren't.
CO-WRITTEN BY ASH (KingdomMewFruits)
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Today's vic- err... star is... EDWARD!
Edward: Let's just get this over with...
Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars... Edward Cullen... only pretends to like Bella...
Edward: NOT TRUE! Bella, I lovee you!!
Bella: Yay!
Edward Cullen... eats hot wings when no one is looking...
Edward: I can't eat human mush food!
Edward Cullen... is 22, not 190 or whatever...
Edward: Other way around, stupid.
Edward Cullen... only pretends to be a vampire to be with Bella...
Edward: I AM A VAMPIRE! You have NO IDEA just HOW BADLY I want to prove this right now!! I am planning about twenty ways to murder you, you know.
Edward Cullen... his mom was Elizabeth, his dad was a tuna...
Edward: Okay, this is getting rediculious!!
Edward Cullen... doesn't know how to spell!!
Edward: What?!
Edward Cullen-
Edward: OKAY, THAT'S IT! I'M COMMING UP THERE TO THAT LITTLE ROOM THAT'S HIDDEN IN THE WALL UP THERE!!!
And now you know Edward Cullen, the fake vampire, hot wing loving, Bella hating, spellcheck-requiring 22 year old with a tuna for a father...
Edward: NONE OF IT'S TRUEEE!!!

A/N: Next time it's... BELLA!!! (applause and applesauce).