Disclaimer: Kubo Tite is just as selfish as K. Masashi! I only asked to borrow Hitsu for an hour, geez. No need to throw a fit!
A/N: For Liz. Cause you are awesome and deserve it.
Much Love for Ichigo.
Kurosaki Ichigo has a gift. It's not necessarily something he's fond of, but hey, it's there. Why fight it? Well, in Ichigo's case, why not fight it? After all, it wasn't something he'd asked for, nor was it something he would miss if it disappeared.
"Why does everyone love me?!"
Alas, it was true. Ghosts, Hollows, Shinigami and humans. He couldn't escape them. At first, he thought it was just his reiatsu, but no, people love him. God only knew why, what with that shit attitude of his.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, him being loved.
Ghosts were what he hated the most, especially before he became a Shinigami. They were always showing up, following him around. He couldn't escape from them, not then, and not now. It was as if they thought he was a good person or something, because they flocked to him like fangirls to their favourite actor. He couldn't hide from them. After all, how could he? If he ran into his room and slammed the door, they could float right through it. There was no escape.
Hollows were another problem. It used to be about his reiatsu, but the more he killed Hollows, the more popular he became. Hollows were coming from all over to fight him so they could one day gloat and claim that, yes, they were the one who killed the famous Kurosaki Ichigo.
They loved the attention he gave them. If a Hollow fought Ichigo and survived, he was praised. The dumb ones just tried to eat his soul, what with that reiatsu screaming to be absorbed and all.
It was much to Ichigo's chagrin that Hollows loved him, because they were just as exasperating–and twice as exhausting–as normal plus ghosts. It was frustrating.
But even more frustrating was the Shinigami. The one Ichigo avoided the most and wished didn't love him—Zaraki Kenpachi. The man just would not leave him alone! He was like a schoolgirl with a crush, it was ridiculous! Ichigo always had to hide when Kenpachi came around, and it made him feel like a wimp. Then again, it was much safer than letting Kenpachi find him.
And he wasn't the only Shinigami who loved him, oh no! Renji, Matsumoto, Ikkaku and Byakuya. Though they showed it in different ways, oh there was love. Much love for the Ichigo.
Renji and Byakuya liked riling him up to trick him into fighting, which he rarely did, but he knew their plan. He was smart, but it was hard to resist beating the crap out of them sometimes. He could do it, too. He just didn't feel like it.
But aside from them, there was Ikkaku. He was always after Ichigo in search of a spar. Ichigo didn't mind this, but there was always the problem of how brutal Ikkaku got. Ichigo sometimes felt like Ikkaku wanted to defeat him so he could tell Kenpachi about it and maybe gain more favour with his captain.
Ichigo would admit, though, that the most terrifying Shinigami he had ever met—was Matsumoto Rangiku. She hugged him. She grabbed him in her arms and crushed him against her generously endowed chest of mountains until he couldn't breathe anymore. She was always playing with his sword—
"Hey! Not that way, you damn perverts! She means Zangetsu! Zangetsu! The metallic cutting thing I throw around!"
—and she often made up lies about him! She was a plague!
And then—the humans. God, they were just as bad. Inoue and her crush, Tatsuki and her insults, Keigo and his insanity—not to mention his father, Isshin.
"Do me a favour, let's not mention him."
Fair enough. Scratch that last part about Isshin. Suffice it to say, the man is crazy.
Can I finish?!
Thank you! Anyway—humans, right. Inoue, Tatsuki, Keigo—oh, there's Ishida, too. He doesn't love Ichigo so much as he loves shoving his superiority in the Shinigami's face. If he has the chance to remind Ichigo of how lame he is in comparison to him, the great Quincy, Ishida will do it. Frequently. In long dialogues. Yes, his love for Ichigo comes from his love for making fun of the other teen.
Inoue's crush just makes her love pretty self-explanatory. She wants him to have her babies, end of story. He can be an absolute jerk, and she'll still love him. She loves him. Just as much as Kenpachi—
—but in a different way!
Tatsuki has a kind of brother-sister love with Ichigo, and she insults him a lot, but even so, the love is there. Keigo's love is... well, we'll skip him, too. He's a little scary. His love usually consists of either screaming, sparkles, or tears. Quite the talent, I do believe.
Don't make me gag you. Seriously. And I don't mean in a kinky way.
Moving on. Love. Well, the obvious person left out was Rukia. She saved him, lived in his closet, helped him with the Grand Fisher in her own way, saved him from her brother— If what she feels isn't love, then I don't know who she thinks she's fooling! It could never work between them, of course. I mean—she's how old? Thirty years difference is stretching it, but you know, do-able. Hundreds of years—not so much. That, and Ichigo's technically still human. He'll get old and lose his looks, but hey, it's all about "personality"...
Oh yeah, he's screwed. With his attitude, it's surprising anyone likes him. And yet... all these people love him. How is that even fair?!
"Do you want my 'gift'? I'll share."
Okay, seriously, that's it. Someone get me a gag, ropes, and a rifle. This is ridiculous.