Please review whether you like it or hate it, otherwise I can't post updates. Can't write if I don't think people are reading this. Can't improve if I don't know what's wrong.

Aiming for more regular updates from now on, please don't give up on me. Oh, and sorry in advance for any spelling and grammar mistakes/typos, I've checked through them but there always seem to be a few that slips from the net. And I'm too much of a control freak to find a beta.

Without further ado, please enjoy my attempted-crack Yugioh AU fic!

Mt. Olympus

Chapter 3: Every day life of the Mt. Olympus gods.

"You have a half brother?"

"Yes, Mokuba," Leon sighed exasperatedly.

"You have a half brother that's a mortal?" Mokuba asked incredulously.

"Yes, Mokuba!"

The two of them were currently flying across the ocean to see this 'brother' of Leon's. Mokuba hadn't believed it at first, not understanding the concept of Leon's parenthood.

"You have a half brother that's a mortal with no immortal blood in him, yet you yourself are an immortal with no mortal blood within you." Mokuba said, then frowned. "How does that work?"

Leon growled in frustration. It was at times like these that he didn't understand how he, Leon Eros, was best friend with this energetic messenger god. Mokuba could get so infuriating sometimes. Leon supposed it had something to do with the fact that he was an apprentice to Mokuba's brother. Or maybe it was because he had enough patience to listen to Mokuba as he ranted and talked about the various things he had seen and heard. Or maybe it was because Mokuba was the only one who could keep up with him in speed when they flew.

"My mother was a mortal until she met my father and they fell in love. The king gave consent to their relationship and made her an immortal. And then they had me."

Mokuba was staring blankly ahead.

"You didn't get a word of that did you?" Leon sighed as he asked.

"Huh? Sorry, did you say something?"

Leon growled.

---

Seto Nemesis, god of divine judgement, viewed mortals as insignificant beings that he should never associate with. This made him perfect for issuing judgement to the world, although Joey did wonder at his rules from time to time. Afterall, punishing those with good luck? How is luck a crime? Then again, Devlin is the god of luck. And he's definitely a criminal. Well, he was in Jou's eyes.

At the end of the day, Seto felt that mortals were not worthy of his friendship and would never dream of courting one.

If Malik was impassive to mortals, Seto was downright cold.

Good thing I'm not a mortal then.

Joey crept along the bottom of the cliff, careful to make as little noise as possible. He had greatly regretted letting Seto go without any type of intercourse yesterday and felt a strong urge to redeem his mistake. When Tristan had offhandedly told him about Seto's little relaxation hideout Joey saw it as an opportunity could not miss.

One way or another, you're mine. Joey thought as his skipped over a particularly large rock, at least for the day.

---

"Your brother," Mokuba said, "is in love with a statue."

"He is not!" Leon argued.

The two hovered in silence as they watched Sigfried Pygmalion admire the marble statue standing grandly in front of him. He smiled in satisfaction as he tilted his head this way and that as he tried to see every angle of the statue's beauty. After a while, Mokuba gave Leon a look.

Leon blinked. "Okay, fine," Leon said exasperatedly, "maybe he is infatuated with the statue."

"Love," Mokuba corrected.

"Whichever it is," Leon said, "I think I should use my lead arrows. That should stop this stupid infatuation." Lead arrows were used by messengers of love to dispel any unwanted attraction whilst the golden arrows had the opposite effect.

"Hm," Mokuba agreed, starting to get slightly disturbed with the amount of attention Leon's brother was giving the statue. When he finally turned towards Leon again, the messenger of love had already notched his arrow and was taking aim. Mokuba's eyes widened as they rested upon the lead arrow.

"No not that one!" he frantically warned.

It was too late. Leon had already released it and the streak of black flew towards its target, hitting true and dispersing in a snake of golden vapour.

"Wait," Leon frowned, "why is the vapour golden?" He turned towards Mokuba who was avoiding his eyes and looking a little guilty. "Mokuba…" Leon growled out.

"Um," Mokuba hesitated. Then spoke in a rush of words, "I wanted to trick you and see how long it would take you to notice that one of the lead arrows was actually a golden arrow so I took one of your golden arrows and painted it grey and copied the pattern of an owl's feather onto the dove feather and then I mixed it up with the rest of your lead arrows."

Leon, who had been staring open-mouthed at Mokuba as he explained, exploded. "You WHAT?!"

---

Yugi stared as the sun god slipped his chiton over his head. Ever since the party last night, the small god of wine had been trying to think of ways to woo the tanned blonde. His plans had ranged from the traditional flowers and dinner to mixing a wine that would all but brain-wash Malik into going out with him.

The latter method had been suggested by one of Yugi's satyrs and he was thankful that said satyr had fallen over in a drunken state as soon as he had suggested it as Yugi was almost afraid that he would have been convinced to make such a wine otherwise.

Therefore, Yugi could not believe his amazing good fortune in catching Malik bathing during his lunch break. Yugi could see the golden chariot tucked away beneath a laurel tree and what he assumed to be Malik's lunch laid out on the grass not far from it. But Yugi paid them no mind, his eyes focused entirely upon the sleek body that had just slipped into the water. Yugi swallowed. He shouldn't really stay there since it was rather immoral to be watching someone taking a bath without their knowledge.

Plus, his own lunch break hadn't officially started yet, though it could be argued that Yugi didn't actually have a lunch break as he spends the entire day making and tasting various food and wine.

Still, Yugi couldn't quite make himself move away from the tree he was hiding behind. Not while the beautiful body was still swimming around in the lucid lake and leaving nothing to imagination. He had to swallow again to stop himself from drooling.

---

Leon and Mokuba watched as Sigfield fawned over the statue, stroking its face gently, kissing its stone cold lips every now and then. A happy sigh escaped the artist as his eyes roamed all over whitewash body.

"What a freak…" Mokuba muttered. Leon turned on him angrily.

"This is your fault!"

"It is not!" Mokuba frowned at the accusation, however accurate it was.

"Yes it is!" Leon yelled, "So fix it!"

"How on earth am I suppose to fix it? You're the love messenger!" Mokuba shouted back, "besides, it's not even my fault!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

As the two continued to argue, they flew towards the only person they knew that could fix this. Aphrodite, the god of love.

---

Ryou nearly jumped out of his skin when his younger brother and his apprentice flew into the room at high speeds. His hands still around a vase of roses, the young god of love stared, wide-eyed as the two messengers before him spoke in a muddle of words. He caught the word 'love' several times but that was about it.

Finally, Ryou couldn't take it any more and held up his hand, the vase cradled in his other arm. "One at a time," he said and turned towards the messenger of love. "Leon, what happened."

"Mokuba made my brother fall in love with a statue."

"Hey, you're the one who shot the golden arrow." Mokuba yelled in indignation.

"Yeah and whose fault was that?" Leon retorted.

"Besides," Mokuba ignored him, "he was already in love with it."

"That was just an in-fa-tu-a-tion," Leon said slowly, punctuation each syllable. "If you hadn't tried to trick me, this would never have happened."

Ryou sighed, "Mokuba, how many times do I have to tell you to stop trying to trick people."

"But nii-saan" Mokuba whined.

"No 'but's, Mokuba," the god of love said sternly whilst Mokuba bowed his head. "You know it only lead to consequences," Ryou continued his lecture, not noticing when Mokuba began to look at something behind him.

"…er…nii-san…"

Ryou ignored him and kept talking, "consequences that others constantly have to fix because you don't know how to fix it."

"But…nii-san…"

"I said no 'but's, Mokuba! And it's rude to interrupt people when they're talking," Ryou said, completely ignorant to the fact that the two messengers were inching up towards the ceiling.

"Um…nii-san?"

"Mokuba! What have I told you about interu-"

SPLASH!

Ryou spluttered as the wave that had hit him started to recede.

"I tried to warn ya," Mokuba said innocently.

Ryou growled, "NII-SAN!!!"

"What?" Bakura asked as he entered Ryou's temple room.

"Stop splashing me with water!"

"Eh?" Bakura Poseidon looked around at the water pooled at his feet. "Whoops. Guess there must have been a leak."

The four brothers, Bakura Poseidon, Seto Nemesis, Ryou Aphrodite and Mokuba Hermes all had rectangular temple halls right next to each other. Each temple hall faced a different direction (north, east, south, west respectively) and were joined together by their triangular personal room at the side whilst the space behind the four temple rooms served as the communal dining and general relaxing area.

Bakura, being the god of the sea, sometimes filled his temple hall or personal room up with water. And when the doors are not properly shut, his neighbouring brothers get attacked by a tidal wave.

"What do you mean, 'whoops'?" Ryou said scathingly.

Bakura rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Whoosh!

Everyone turned their head towards the noise.

"ONII-SAN!!!!!!" A scream was heard from the opposite direction Bakura had come from.

"Oh dear, I guess I filled up my room too…"

---

Joey blinked as he saw the 'little' hideout Tristan had told him about. And the first thing he realised was that 'little' was hardly the appropriate word to describe it.

The second thing he discovered, to his great joy, was that an almost circular bed occupied almost half of the entire room-cave-thingy. Imagine what fun he will have with Seto on that.

However, the third (though this really should have been priority) thing that caught his attention was that Seto was nowhere to be found. Joey sighed. He had crept all the way from the beach for nothing. Well, I've come this far, might as well wait.

Looking around, the dawn god spied a jutting stalactite that he could hide behind and promptly sat down in its shadow. He didn't have to be back to the east until the Sun returns and he is needed to help take care of the horses. This means that he has the entire day in which to seduce the tall brunet. You wait, Seto. This is going to be the best day you've ever had.

To be continued…

---

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh.

Yugi: …

Yami: …

Malik: …

Joey: And the dark side of Yugi is revealed.

Yugi/Blushes/

Malik: You were watching me bathe?

Yugi: It's not my fault! I didn't write this sad excuse of a fanfic.

Bakura: Why the hell would I bother filling up rooms with water?

Yaoiness: You're the god of the sea, you like water.

Bakura: Yeah, but it seems pretty pointless to fill my rooms up with water. Why don't I just go and live in the sea if I like water so much.

Yaoiness: You want to keep an eye on your younger brothers of course!

Bakura: Che…

Ryou: Ooh, I'm the god of love, does this mean I'll have a lot of lovers?

Yaoiness: Um…no not really.

Ryou: But…

Yaoiness: You'll mostly see people around you fall in love.

Ryou: But…but…

Mokuba: Wait a minute, I'm the first one to say something in this chapter, why do no one care about what I say?

Leon: It's because you don't really do anything THAT out of character. Unlike Yugi-san who's been turned into a pervert and Bakura-san being a drowning masochist.