Cake is delicious, but I don't own any. Much like I don't own anything in this story.

Neat, huh?


Janeway glowered in the dim light of the lift, eyes slowly raking over the stout technicolor form of Voyager's resident morale officer and immense waste of oxygen.

"Shoopity doop doop a shoop shoop shoop doowaaa," He chittered, bouncing on his heels and snapping his fingers. "Shoopa shoop doo do daaaa."

Janeway rolled her eyes and sucked back the urge to choke the cheery Talaxian, returning her attention to the padd clasped in her hands.

"Dadadadum badum dododoodod-doo," He shook his hips and spun on his heel, gesturing stupidly at an invisible figure in front of him. "Shaadadum poodoo do

daaaaaa HEY!"

He clapped and jumped a few inches off the ground, quite the feat for his fat frame, and clicked his heels. Janeway sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose irritably.

"Neelix," she said in a warning tone, "Do you think you could perhaps tone it down a bit?" In truth, she wanted to tell him to knock it the fuck off and jam his head between the lift doors, but she hadn't endured command school for nothing.

"Oh, Captain! Why, I was so caught up in my hoopty-doo I didn't even notice you there!" He smiled and clapped his heavy hand on her shoulder.

Janeway silently cursed herself for speaking and grimaced at his touch. His fingers were like sausages, his skin stretched thin over great dowels of lard.

"Neelix," She stepped from beneath his grasp. "Personal space."

"Personal space?" The Talaxian inquired, raising his bushy eyebrows.

"Personal space," She began, but was interrupted by the swishing of the turbolift doors. Her beloved astromestrics officer stepped gracefully through, planting herself sufficiently away from the other two occupants.

Janeway nodded briefly at her, before turning back to Neelix.

"This is my bubble. My personal space, which you, and everybody else save a select few, are forbidden from intruding upon." She drew her arms around her, erecting an invisible wall.

"O-oh. Very well, Captain." Neelix blinked before smiling broadly and turning to face the doors, which swished open again.

All the occupants stepped out, Neelix parting from the two and heading towards the messhall, Janeway and Seven continuing down the passageway at a speedy gait.

Once the duo were out of sight from other officers, Janeway slipped closer and slinked her arm around the Borg's slender waist.

"Holodeck two," She smirked. "Three hours, my slinky cybernetic sex cat."

Seven halted, turning towards the other woman.

"Captain," She raised an implant adorned brow, "Personal space."

Janeway blinked. "What?"

"Personal space. This is my bubble." She gently pushed Janeway back, drawing her long arms in a circle around her slender frame.

Janeway clenched her jaw.

"Personal space is irrelevant," She smirked up at the taller woman, pulling her down into a face consuming kiss that left both women wonderfully breathless.