February 20, 2007
Demise of a Fangirl
by Pearl of the Dark Age
The sun shone of the jet-black hair. The wind breezily swept past a heavily muscled body tightly wrapped in spandex. Vegeta stood there in the middle of a vast expanse, wondering where Bulma had gone. His wife was nowhere to be seen.
For he did not know what misfortune had befallen her at the hands of a rabid, redheaded fangirl. Let's just assume she's still in good health, but her temper – needless to say – may not be stable. The said fangirl had now approached the unsuspecting Vegeta, and she made sure to keep downwind. She had been following his moves for years, and everything she had learned led up to this one moment.
Disguised in a large bush, she blended into the surroundings well. Even Wile E. Coyote would have been impressed! Slowly she crept forward. The passing time was almost excruciating. She could not be fried by Vegeta's awesome powers before she reached her goal. Foot by foot, yard by yard, she inched towards him.
Vegeta could sense something was up. He was not the sort of person who could be tricked so easily, after all. However, his sense of smell wasn't in the best of shape today due to a rare cold, but he could still smell whatever was upwind. He looked all around him at the bare expanse of desert with its spontaneous sage bushes. Maybe it was the anxiety of searching for his wife that caused his mind to play tricks on him. He could have sworn that one lumpy bush had moved from where he thought he had last seen it. Blinking a few times, he decided that the bush must be harmless, even if it did move.
After all, he was Vegeta!
But even he could not have anticipated the lengths to which a certain fangirl would go. She crept forward. Sweat running down her temples not from the heat, but from the impending doom. All rested upon these last critical moments. She was only ten feet away… nine… eight… seven…
For fangirls everywhere, she was finally within reach! Her heart pounded so fiercely she was terrified that Vegeta would be able to hear it! Slowly, but surely she reached out from the bush. For the fangirls, she thought.
And Vegeta's head turned around… There was an arm reaching out of a bush right for his ass! He had no reaction for just a moment other than pure shock!
Screw the fangirls! she thought. It's now or never!
What happened next could only be described as a brilliant flash of light that blinded all who may or may not have witnessed the demise of a fangirl.
Vegeta left the smoking, smoldering, burning pile of ash behind. The little black pile of soot wriggled in pleasure, smiling broadly. "So totally worth it…"