This idea came to me quite a while ago and I've finally set it into motion. The rundown?


Rated M!


Disclaimer? NOT MINE!

Summary? The title says it all.

I really hope you enjoy this. It's a tiny, tiny bit of a humorfic but I'm not all that amusing so, just enjoy everything else. Thanks:--Sayward

How to Get Out of a Ticket

It was nearing five-thirty a.m., and the only light on the road came from Uzumaki Naruto's white Jeep Wrangler's headlights. The sky was ever-so-slowly turning a more opaque shade of navy, and Naruto was… Well, Naruto was running late. Thirty minutes late. Thirty minutes late on his first day of work, to be precise. He verbally cursed his out-of-town housing as he gripped at the steering wheel and attempted to calculate the number of miles remaining versus the number of minutes he had left to arrive before getting fired. How long did it normally take him to get into New York City? If there was traffic, he may as well forget it.

Multitasking had never been Naruto's strong point, and right now he was bordering overload. Apparently he was a little too busy to pay attention to his speedometer, coupled with how hard he happened to be pressing against the accelerator. None of this seemed to register until blue and red lights flared up behind him and a siren was temporarily switched on.

Naruto's Wrangler idled for only another moment before it was switched off, accompanied by a string of curses. He smacked at his steering wheel, rolled down the window, and began to sift through his glove compartment in search of his registration. Never in his life had he been pulled over, given a ticket, or any other kind of traffic violation, but he knew exactly what to do. Lastly he fished his license out of his wallet (and took a moment to frown at the wonderfully goofy looking picture that seemed to jump out from the plastic card).

"License and registration."

Naruto was startled by the icy voice that suddenly dominated the silence. The roads were vacant; the vast, empty space was now trying to fill itself with only two cars, two persons, and the flashing lights reflecting in Naruto's rear view. Annoyed, he switched the mirror to the night setting in an attempt to calm the strobing colors.

"I hate to repeat myself," the voice dripped with impatience, paused, and slowly continued with one last blow, "Uzumaki."

Naruto whipped his head around, his curious crystal eyes falling on a frowning figure looming outside of his open window. The site presented to him, the person before him, made him shiver with… Made him shiver with laughter.

"Uchiha!" The blonde boy snorted as he thrust the required items out the window. "Uchiha Sasuke is one of our boys in blue?" The thought tickled Naruto more than it should have. But hey, who didn't like a man in uniform?

A low, foreboding growl rumbled through the stoic boy's throat. "Officer Uchiha," he snapped as he glanced down at the presented documents. He turned his nose up and chose to ignore them, and his cool eyes slowly traveled back to laughing blue ones. He suppressed the urge to punch the younger man. "I don't see you doing much with your life, Uzumaki. You've been driving that piece of junk since high school."

The statement seemed to cool Naruto down a bit. His laughter ceased (rather abruptly), and an even glare momentarily settled on his features. Although it wasn't the most menacing of all looks, it lingered on the Uchiha for a moment before shifting completely. The blonde turned back to his steering wheel, stroking it gently with his left hand, as he cooed at it, as if to comfort the car. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"It's so like you to draw assumptions from material items meant to express social status. This ol' girl has been more faithful then any of your Mercedes or Porches." He turned his full attention back to the other man, a mischievous grin growing in place of a frown. "Besides, with your salary now…" He reached out the window as he spoke and boldly pushed down on the blue bill of Sasuke's hat. Outraged (although the raven saw it as more of a challenge of power), Sasuke grabbed at Naruto's wrist before the blonde could retract it. He had the younger pinned in his place as the darker haired boy's glare fell into position.

"Get out of the car."

It was a challenge of sorts. His power had been questioned (threatened, even), and he was simply responding. Of course any normal person would be, in the least, a little shocked and frightened at the seemingly harsh confrontation. Naruto, however, had always been a little different. Very different. He laughed as he yanked his wrist away fro the raven's grasp. He opened his Jeep door, gingerly stepped down, and kicked the door shut gently behind him.

"Are you going to arrest me, Officer?"

Naruto's tone had changed. This was the real challenge. The crystal in his eyes dulled, but it brought on a darker spark. He bit gently at his bottom lip with a waiting smirk. It was a bit uncanny how the both of them could read each other so well.

The Uchiha struck first. He swiveled Naruto on his heels and pushed the blonde up against his Jeep; the boy's hands were trapped behind his back and his cheek was being pressed against the cool glass of the driver's side window. Sasuke's lips howeverd beside the younger man's ear and they slowly twisted in to something akin to Naruto's 'waiting smirk.'

"It's been a while."

A dark chuckle slipped over Naruto's lips. "It has. When was it last, Officer?" Sasuke pushed the blonde harder against the vehicle in response to his sarcasm. Naruto grunted, but continued. "Senior prom bathroom? No, Sakura's graduation party, her parents walk-in closet? No, that's not it either. Ah, Sakura's wedding reception! The back seat of your Benz, remember?" The blonde sneered and tilted his head, straining a bit to try to catch a glimpse of his companion's reaction.

"You're wrong." He took too much pleasure out of this. "Sakura's baby shower." Sasuke turned just enough to direct his soft voice in another direction: right into the poor blonde boy's ear. The Uchiha's warm breath engulfed the pierced flesh, fogging up the small metal ball that kept the 'wound' open. "Your Wrangler."

Memories clouded the vision of both men and inspired their actions. The images from situations before drove them to create new ones. Their movements were choppy and uncoordinated as their foggy minds scrambled to fuel their body's motions along with progressing their thoughts. Naruto's coat-and-tie getup was easy enough to get around. The tie had been loosened and the shirt partially unbuttoned, leaving him the most vulnerable out of the two. The blonde was having no such luck in catching Sasuke up. Every time his wandering hands moved to push something aside, or unzip or buckle, they fell on some part of the uniform that would not, or could not, be budged. The holster around the Uchiha's waist was even preventing the most crucial clothing removal of all. Growling as he clawed at the uniform, Naruto bit at the older man's jaw.


As if it were somehow Sasuke's fault, the mocking anger and passion from earlier was being let out in the blonde's frustration. Sasuke just seemed to be enjoying the show. Despite the very forward behavior and all around aggressiveness, the raven still seemed to keep charge. Maybe it was the arrogant smirk that guaranteed his dominance over the other (or his height), but despite the many protests in the past from the blonde haired man, it had always stayed that way.

It wasn't until Naruto's shirt was practically dangling from his shoulders that he even took notice of their whereabouts. The trick to their relationship was that it was void of any real logic. They did nothing but fight when they were together yet managed to stay oddly close friends during high school. When it came to their various (sex)escapades, they were never premeditated and never held much foreplay. It was as if something would trigger them, and everything else seemed to momentarily fade to black while they fulfilled their more animalistic needs.

"The car. Your car." Still frustrated, Naruto's voice held the tiniest hint of a whine. He needed to remove the two bodies from plain site. This was already taking too long for their shared patience.

"No," came the gruff response, as Naruto's tie was yanked completely from around his neck and forced to the ground (much to the blonde's dismay). It freed up the remainder of the shirt, which was soon falling completely open and slipping down to pool in the crook of Naruto's arm. "My car has cameras." The look of interest on the younger man's face forced a snort out of the Uchiha. To be completely honest, however, he would generally be interested in the idea. (Maybe they could invest in that later?) But when it came to his police cruiser, the both of them knew that would get him fired.

"But the Wrangler is old news," the blonde man protested. Not with much heart, though. He only did it to play with the other man. To taunt. After all, their seemingly hateful banter seemed to make their hormones thrive.

As they silently came to terms with the fact that their only choice was currently what Naruto was counting on for support, Sasuke jerked himself away from other man's body. The sudden loss of contact was enough to make both men writhe, but it made it all the better once their burning touches were once again reunited.

The passenger door had been propped open to prevent the car from steaming up, and the seat had been laid back. Uchiha was resting back in the seat, his pants only pushed down past his hips, whilst the tanned man on top of him remained only in his button down shirt, which was still hanging at the elbows. The odd ebony colored hair of the older man was beginning to stick to his damp forehead, contrasting greatly with his flushed face. Naruto's whole body was slick with sweat, making his movements much more fluid and easier. Heavy breathes and cries mixed together in the sticky atmosphere, the words quickly becoming jumbled and inaudible before simply turning into pure noise. Nails raked across tan skin in an attempt to get a grip on something as pleasures began to peak, leaving rather loud red lines that would later fade to more gentle pink reminders. Their actions were by no means glamorous. The act was not committed out of love, but out of pure lust. There was no such thing as emotion in these times spent together; only motion. Constant motion, pushing each one forward, farther, and closer to a common goal.

Uchiha was the first to go. His teeth sank into the skin of Naruto's shoulder as he arched against the blonde's hips, groaning in his throat as the younger rode out the raven's orgasm. For the sake of Sasuke's uniform, Naruto climbed off and out of the car before allowing himself to follow the same path (with the Uchiha safely behind him, of course). That way, just as quick and easy it started, it ended the same way. They cleaned themselves up in seconds flat; redressing, flattening out tousled hair, and even retying a tie. The only awkward moment to come from their meeting was awakened as they were both trying to catch their breath, which was momentarily forgotten about as they shared their first (and only) kiss of the meeting. It was generally not an action they placed much emphasis on, or found much importance in. In this case, it was simply a way to seal the deal and end everything. Sasuke's teeth grazed the blonde's bottom lip as Naruto's tongue slid along the Uchiha's gums. Just like everything else between the two, it was far from perfect. It was by no means a good kiss. It was just simply…a kiss.

Naruto was seated in the drivers seat of his Wrangler, his seatbelt fastened, listening to the car idle beneath him. Sasuke was just reapplying the hat that started it all, standing in the frame of the open car door.

"I can't believe you honestly wear that thing," managed to escape from under the blonde's breath. The insults would throw them back in normalcy.

"Shut up," accompanied by the tell-tale glare. "Do you need to take a ride down to the 27th with me?"

Instead of receiving a complaint or smart ass comment in return, Sasuke was surprised to notice that Naruto seemed to perk up at the idea. He turned slightly in his seat to better see the other man. "Actually, would you mind escorting me there?"

Snorting, Sasuke stepped backwards and shut the door to the Wrangler, looking at Naruto through the open window now. A delicate eyebrow was raised in response, coupled with obvious amusement at the idea. "What business could you possibly have there, Uzumaki?"

"I'm a little late for my first day on the job. And actually, that's Detective Uzumaki to you."

Done! Finally done. I've had the idea for this project for quite a while now. I started it a while ago and finally got around to finishing it. I like this whole oneshot lifestyle. But I actually have an idea cooking for a multi-chapter story that I am going to attempt. Another AU type thing based around an overused concept... I love using those! Anyhow, be on the lookout and cross your fingers for me on this new one. I really hope you enjoyed this one! Reviews would be amazing.