Did you ever notice …?

Rating: K+

Warnings: Crack, plain and simple.

Pairings: Oro-chan and his chair. (I kid, I kid, there are no pairings)

Genre: Humor

Word Count: 193

Disclaimer: Please see my profile for details.

A/N: (snickers) I just love torturing Sasuke-kun. He's practically begging for it, don't you think?


Did you ever notice how Orochimaru always forgets Sasuke's name?

Orochimaru's lair was dark, the only light coming from the few flickering candles scattered about the room. He sat in his chair as if it were a throne, Sasuke on his left and Kabuto on his right. The current daimyo of the Mist country was in front of him.

Orochimaru grinned at him, gesturing lazily with his hand.

"This is my new container … er …" Orochimaru scrambled for a name.

Kabuto bent down and whispered into his ear, "Uchiha Sasuke."

Still caught up in trying to remember his new container's name, he snapped back, "What about him?"

No matter how Sasuke tries to tell him otherwise.

"Come, new container!" Orochimaru said airily after the daimyo had left, rising from his chair.

"My name is Sasuke," he replied darkly.

Orochimaru didn't seem to hear him, more focused on the fact that he didn't follow his orders. He said forcefully, "Come, container!"

Sasuke, who wasn't very stable to begin with and was almost at the end of his rope, shouted, "IT'S SASUKE!!!!"

Orochimaru looked at him blankly. "What is?

Sasuke twitched. "My name."

"Oh, alright! Come, container-suke!"

Did you ever notice that Sasuke conveniently "forgets" that Orochimaru only wants to use him as a container, even though Orochimaru CONSTANTLY REMINDS HIM?!

Sasuke didn't know how to react to being called "container-suke" so his mind went on default. "Train me."

Orochimaru laughed. "Now right now, container-suke, I'm a bit tired. Maybe later."

And what about his OCD-ness about training? Ever notice THAT?


"Train me!"

"Oh, not now container-suke, daddy's busy."

Sasuke entered an emo-coma at the word "daddy," making Orochimaru cluck his tongue disapprovingly and go back to his work. (Work: read as painting his nails)


"Train me!"

"No, container-suke, now I must show you off (again)!"

Sasuke spasmed and began foaming at the mouth. "TRAIN MEEEEE!"

Orochimaru sighed and placed one hand against his own cheek, distressed. "Oh my, it appears he's gone insane! Kabuto, fetch me the collar, will you?"

As Sasuke continued to twitch, alternating between yelling out, "TRAIN," "ITACHI," and, "TURKEYZ," Kabuto left the room swiftly. He returned with what looked like a dog collar, which was snapped around the convulsing Sasuke's neck with little difficulty.

With the press of a button, electricity coursed through Sasuke's body and he yelped, snapping one hand to his neck. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

Orochimaru grinned, sparkles appearing around him. "That was a shock, my dear boy! What you have around you're neck is a training collar!"

Sasuke (who had been attempting to gnaw the thing off) froze. His ears perked up. "Training?"

"Yes, it's training! It will help you defeat your brother!"

Sasuke looked up at him, wide-eyed. In the next moment, he had his arms wrapped around Orochimaru's waist.


Kabuto growled jealously as Orochimaru ignored him in favor of patting Sasuke's head. "Yes, that's a good container-suke! Yes you are! Yes you are!"


When someone has a dog that barks a lot or whatever, they have this collar that shocks them every time they bark, and that's kinda like what Orochimaru has! Except his is "modified"! (beams)

I just can't get over that. "Container-suke" (snorts).

(Insert standard demand/plea/bribe/threat for reviews)