A Little Talk

By Adrian Tullberg.


Dumbledore looked at the documentation before him, and then at the student.

New boy, but displayed a frightening amount of potential. Anyone who garnered a complement from Snape on their Cursing ability demanded close attention. Handsome young man as well.

And he knew it. He … radiated an arrogance that bordered on physical visibility. He'd seen students with far less confidence come to a very sticky end.

Like the incident that brought young Victor Von Doom to his attention.

"Now then, Victor ... "

"Professor."

"I wanted to have a little talk about ..."

"What I did to Draco Malfoy?"

"I'm afraid so."

"He insulted my mother."

"I see."

"The exact phrase was 'worthless Gypsy trash'. I offered him the chance to apologise, but he continued his slander. Clearly action had to be taken."

"And what led you to ... the actions you took?"

"At first I decided to crucify him."

"You mean, embarrass him in front of the other students?"

"No."

"Oh."

"I noticed some of the discarded support beams left lying around after the repairs of the east wing, which gave me the idea. And there's lots of nails available in..."

"Yes, yes. And why did you thankfully abandon this course of action?"

"I do not need martyrs ... yet. There was no guarantee he'd be found in time after spending half the night on the Quiddich field."

"Right ..."

"After putting a sleeping draught into his evening tea, I stripped his clothes off and dragged him into the main hall."

"And that's when you tied him ... naked ... to the dead donkey in a sexually compromising position."

"It felt appropriate considering the insults to my mother, Professor."

"His father was ... concerned, regarding his son found naked in front of Hogwart's student body like that."

"Then he will teach his son better manners in future."