A/N: Disclaimer: Hands up who owns Doctor Who? (Raises hand) (Pause) (Puts hand down) Whoops. My bad.

I promised there'd be a sequel, didn't I? Yace, I did. I did, I did, I did! I thought I saw puddy cat! I did! I did see...(Ahem) Anyways, back to the lowdown. I originally wanted to start posting this a bit later, on the 1st March. But who am I kidding? I can't wait that long! So you can have it early - on one condition, printed at the bottom.

This of course, is the sequel to The Long Meaningful Ramble, again, lacking a summary. You would probably need to read that to FULLY appreciate this, but I'm trying to drop the hints of what happened last time in the text. But here's a summary anyway (Bear with me, it was a pretty long story :P):

After a drunken night in the TARDIS, the Doctor and Rose find they did more than intended during the night upon waking in the same bed. But even as they try to dismiss it, Rose finds she is pregnant with the Doctor's baby in a phone call with a mysterious voice that promises to kill her, the Doctor and their baby. However, before she can tell the Doctor about their child and the mysterious caller, a shadow species called the Darkeese - a race of trained mafia hitmen - are already on their trail. The Darkeese is fought off, but shortly afterwards the Doctor and Rose are both involved in a massive bus accident with another lifeform driving a lorry bent on killing them both, leaving the Doctor near-death and trapped in a human hospital - but Rose practically unharmed.

The Doctor's alienity is soon discovered by the the doctors and nurses, and a mysterious faction named Torchwood step in to take this alien away. Fueled by the knowledge that the Doctor doesn't know of their child, Rose plans to infiltrate Torchwood and get him back. Meanwhile, the Doctor has met a certain Captain Jack Harkness whilst trying to escape the Torchwood tower, and even Jack is unable to stop the Torchwood employees from giving the Doctor his poison - Penicillin.

Rose arrives with Howard, the guy from the market, in the Torchwood tower only to meet Jack. He informs her of the Doctor's drastic status, and helps Rose and Howard escape with the Doctor to the outside world past the guards. Jack stays behind at Torchwood, but gives his motorbike keys to Rose, providing a getaway vehicle back to Howard's flat.

The Doctor's health plummets, but unconsciously has earnt £15,000 from his selfless actions to save a child in the bus accident, who is the daughter of a billionaire. Jackie tries all she can to save the Doctor from death, but it is realised they must go back to the TARDIS in order to save his life. They make it with seconds to spare, and the Doctor fully comes around to see a heavily pregnant Rose, despite the fact she is only at five days. They find it's twins - a boy and a girl - and they are due in two days.

The Doctor discovers he has a psychic link with his child as he feels the pain of Rose's contractions. Only just after he's sorted that out, the babies arrive a day early. But the birth is not as smooth as anticipated - the Doctor soon discovers either Rose or his baby daughter Eva must die by his hands, and it becomes the latter, much to his distress.

After the funeral, the Doctor and Rose both make a pact never to return to the grave holding their dead second child - and they have another one, a baby boy named Rory Alexis Sigma-Tyler to worry about. But not even the dark forces are sympathetic as the Darkeese return. The Doctor escapes the attack with minor injuries and a concussion, but discovers the Darkeese are not the ones trying to kill him and are only trying to take his child, which means there is another entity out there tryign to kill them. The Doctor does however, discover the alias of the person trying to take his child using the Darkeese. The Bad Wolf.

The Doctor and Rose leave the Powell Estate after a short recovery session for the Doctor, who is rendered useless by his concussion. They swear to first go shopping for Rory, then go to a R and R centre to let the Doctor recover, and then tackle the 'Bad Wolf' and it's obssession with trying to take the defenceless baby Time Lord.


Chapter 1 – The Doctor's Fan Club

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

The Doctor sighed a very muffled sigh loudly, turning over under the double duvet cover that Rose had dragged from his bed to the temporary Nursery. His right arm automatically extended out and draped lazily over the person in question, who was lying snoozing under the duvet next to him.

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

"S'your ship…" Rose slurred, half in a daze.

"S'your mother…" he countered.

"S'your sperm…"

"You gave birth…"

"You got me drunk enough to have sex…"

"I deny that…" he simply answered, knowing full well he had just been defeated by a human woman. If only Romana could see him now…

He didn't open his eyes, but instead groaned loudly as a form of an answer to the TARDIS, a signal to accept the call.

"Hello Jackie," he said in a drawn-out voice, as if he'd done the same thing a thousand times before. Probably had, too.

"'Ello Doctor," Jackie's disembodied voice said from the Heavens, the phone call echoing throughout the temporary Nursery. "Just callin' to see 'ow my special grandson is doin'."

"Rory's fine, Jackie," the Doctor replied as he sat up and spoke to the ceiling, a slight tinge of annoyance in his voice, "really. He's exactly the same as he was five minutes ago when you last rang and asked the exact same question. He's fine, has always been fine and always will be fine. Be sure Jackie, if he suddenly develops a small cough, I'll be the first to let you know."

"Good, good. And is Rose okay, Doctor?" she asked, obviously missing the deadpan.

"No, actually, she's not. She's currently dying in a pool of her own blood gasping for air because I just randomly went psychopathic and stabbed her six times in the chest."

The line went silent.

"Or alternatively," the Doctor carried on, "she could be lying next to me half asleep drooling onto my arm."

There was a small, hesitant laugh on the other end of the line – and the Doctor frowned.

"You didn't think I was serious did you?" he asked, genuinely offended.

"Well, never can be too sure 'bout tha' with you, Doctor," Jackie reasoned out, and the Doctor just rolled his eyes as he slipped back down under the warm double duvet.

"Good night Jackie," he said instantly, trying to end the call so he could go back to sleep.

"Night? It's lunchtime!"

"It's 3:00am here mum," Rose explained in a crackly, tired voice as she sat up, sensing the Doctor was extremely likely to faint from exhaustion if he didn't get some sleep soon. "We really need some sleep. Any chance you could like, avoid the phone for a few hours? If someone dies suddenly from a heart attack…"

"Or lack of sleep!" the Doctor put in loudly.

"…I'm sure one of us will call you," Rose finished off, studiously ignoring him.

"Okay darlin'," Jackie answered, "Love you, sleep well."

There was a welcome silence in the TARDIS once more and the Doctor was quick to reach up and grab Rose's night t-shirt, dragging her back down into bed.

"Rose, if she calls back within the hour I swear I will not be responsible for my actions," he murmured with his face pressed into the pillow, the result of which muffling his voice to such a degree Rose had to get closer towards him to distinguish the sounds.

"Don't worry, she won't be. How's your head?"

"I'll survive."

It had been around seven hours since they'd left Jackie, Mickey and Howard on the Powell Estate to their own lives, and since then the Doctor and Rose had been trying to go to sleep so they were fully rejuvenated for tomorrow's all day shopping trip. Rory Alexis Sigma-Tyler was currently being fed dinner leftovers and his nappies were of the Tesco's Basic range – probably not the best of the nappies out there.

Since they had left the Powell Estate however, Jackie had found it a necessity to keep calling them to check on her grandson. After what had happened with Eva, they all been a little off guard – but Jackie was just overly protecting them now. The Doctor would be glad when everything could be totally forgotten.

"Y'know what?" Rose asked as she curled into him. "You should get an answerin' machine." She looked up at him, seeing him smile slightly.

"That's a good idea, actually. I'll give it a go. Night, night Rose."

"Night Doctor."

The TARDIS thoughtfully dimmed the lights as the two time-travellers gently slipped into sleep, dreaming of bananas, talking cats and each other. And then:


"Rory needs a nappy change, Doctor."

Seven hours and two nappy changes later the Doctor was sitting alone at the first kitchen table sleepily poking at his half-drowned cornflakes with bleary eyes, in the midst of the process of dressing accompanied with a pounding headache ringing through his skull. He felt so middle-aged and overworked. Is this what being an average human felt like?

"He's sleepin' again," Rose said as she walked into the kitchen and planted a kiss on his cheek, slipping down into the chair opposite.

He grunted in reply, lacking the energy to string a sentence together as he spooned up some cereal and shoved it into his mouth. Rose eyed him chewing as slowly as he was, concerned.

"You okay? You're lookin' a little flushed."

He visibly swallowed, straining to do so slightly. "Oh, I can't think of a reason I might be tired," the Doctor said sarcastically, now stabbing at the cornflakes just for something to do.

"Aww, poor Doctor, needin' his sleep. You're gettin' old."

"I'm getting concussed," he insisted as he pushed the bowl of milky cornflakes away from him, losing his appetite. He dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his eyes free of the sting of sleep. Rose started to get worried again.

"You sure you're okay?" she asked, reaching towards him and taking his wrist to grab his attention. "If you don't feel up to it we could always take another day in the TARDIS. Doesn't have to be done today y'know."

"No, no, no, I'm fine," he claimed, pulling his wrist away from Rose's grasp and getting onto his feet. "We'll do it today. Get it done."

"Right, better get ready," Rose suggested, also pulling herself to her feet. "D'you need help with…" she trailed off, thinking maybe it would be a little patronising – probably slightly erotic, too. "…Y'know…gettin' dressed."

The Doctor stared at her humorously. "Please Rose, I'm not that incompetent." He turned and walked out the kitchen doorway with a distinguished 'hmph', turning left at the split.

"Doctor," Rose called out to him, rolling her eyes. "Other way."

He walked back in view again, peering inquisitively down the right-hand corridor. Satisfied with what he saw, he turned to Rose and raised an adamant finger.

"…I knew that," he insisted, and walked out of view again.

If Rose had to describe the Transgalactic Hyperspace Hypergo Market in one word, just one word…that word would be: "Coo."

The Doctor grinned as he watched his youthful human companion gawp a goldfish look at the pure vastness of this apparent 'shop'. It looked more like a mini-city than the off-licence down the road in the Powell Estate, with every single building being a different department.

The women's clothing building was basically a twelve-storey mansion – but as the Doctor reasoned, the clothes had to also be split up into different lifeform categories. Even the Raxacoricofalipatorions, which was abbreviated to Raxacons, had their own section, and the Doctor was quick to assure her they didn't sell human body suits from popular demand.

Rose took a look at the 'shop', gulping back her tears of joy. This was the kind of place she dreamt about. "Wow," she breathed.

"D'you like it?"


"Yeah, but do you like it?"

"Very big."

The Doctor rolled his eyes despairingly, taking her hand and pulling her to a nearby counter of about six hundred in a line, where a very bored looking green lifeform was sat reading 'How to configure your Dimensional Stabilisation Refractor in six hundred easy steps' with its feet propped up on the counter.

The Doctor coughed loudly with intent to grab its attention, and it stifled a yawn as it dropped the newspaper like a man on the edge of patience.

"Yes?" it asked in a curt voice.

"Can we list in please?" the Doctor enquired in his politest voice, and the lifeform heaved a loud sigh, leaning forward and taking a small slim metal device bleeping in a bright array of colours which served as a pen in hand.

"Welcome to the Transgalactic Hyperspace Hypergo Market," the lifeform started in a drawn out voice, apparent that it had gone over this speech more than a thousand times before. "I am Sennheiser your friendly Moogroo ready to answer any questions you might have about this wonderful establishment which is now number one in the universe for all your shopping needs. If you are not a local, we are situated across the span of over ten thousand galaxies and there's sure to be one near you. Visit your nearest space station for one of our branches. First of all I will have to ask you to fill in a few details for reasons of health and safety. Mr. and Mrs…?"

The Doctor was about to open his mouth and give out the usual false identities, but Rose was quick to cut over the top of him.

"Sigma," she said, earning an intrigued stare from the Doctor. "I'm Rose Sigma, and this is John Sigma."

Sennheiser lowered its curious pen to electronic board, jotting down the names it'd just been given.


"Rose here is a human, and I'm a Time Lord," the Doctor said. Sennheiser suddenly looked slightly surprised, staring at the Doctor as if he were a ghost before shaking its head to clear its thoughts and went back to writing.

"Wow, didn't realise you guys were still around," it explained its moment of surprise. "Where'd you all disappear too? Something to do with the shop?"

The Doctor sniffed. "Prices were too high."

Sennheiser smiled for apparently the first time since they'd met. "Well, no point asking you anymore Mr. Time Lord sir. I'm probably just wasting your time. Ha, ha." Not getting any laughs, Sennheiser hastily cleared its throat, disappearing out of view behind the counter for a moment before reappearing with a cluster of papers in its hands.

"Do you require an exchange of currency?"

"Yes, please," the Doctor said, digging into his trenchcoat pocket with his free hand and slamming about ten thousand in cold, hard, clean cash on the counter.

"Ten thousand human pounds to Goegols please."

Rose looked at the Doctor, confused. "Goegols?" she whispered.

"Shop's so huge it has its own currency," he stage-whispered back.

"Wow," Sennheiser gawped, picking up the money and flicking mesmerising through the healthy wad. "This is a rare currency."

"It is when Tony Blair's in power," Rose muttered in an undertone as Sennheiser began mumbling calculations to himself, trying to work out the exchange rate.

"Twenty thousand," the Doctor said instantly, taking some paper Goegols out of Sennheiser's hand and shoving them into his right trenchcoat pocket.

Sennheiser held out the pieces of paper he was clutching, the Doctor also plucking them out of his hands and disappearing swiftly into his pocket.

"Here's your map of the shop, an information pamphlet and please put this in a visible place on your spaceship or it will get clamped. Have a nice day."

The Doctor smiled charismatically. "I'm sure we will."

"Oh, one more thing Mr. Time Lord sir?" Sennheiser suddenly piped up as the two began to walk away, making them turn back around to face him.


"D'you know a guy named 'the Doctor'?"

The Doctor winked at Rose. "Yes, he's a close friend of ours."

"Very sexy, intelligent and brave," Rose added, just for the hell of it.

"D'you know what he's up to nowadays?" Sennheiser asked meekly, as if he wasn't worthy to know what the Doctor was doing.

"Yes, actually," the Doctor said with a smile. "He's standing in the entrance of a Transgalactic Hyperspace Hypergo Market, talking to you."

And with that, he and Rose disappeared into the largest shop in the Universe to spend some money, leaving a shocked looking Moogroo behind them.

A/N: Here's the condition: REVIEW! Trust me, it gets better, I don't much like this chapter. I'll start giving previews when I'm sure I'm going to carry this story on. No reviews equals no story.