Little Wishes

So here I am. Sitting here in my new room in a new town with a new family. I can't say that it is at all that wonderful. In fact, it's hell. Somewhere along my train of lonesome thoughts I've come to really ask myself a question. Why is my life so downright wretched? I already know the answer. It all comes down to the one word that has ruined my life, that one word I just can't get away from, that one word that prevents me from making and or keeping friends. Shyness. Oh how I loathe that word yet I love it at the same time. It's something to hide behind, whenever people ask about why I won't talk all I have to do is reply with the ever popular, "I'm shy, that's all." But you know, I'm pretty darn sick of being shy, and so is the rest of my new 'family' if you can call them one.

My mom decided out of the blue that she was going to marry this freak of a man that is now my legal "Dad." Why she decided to up and get married after knowing the man for only three weeks I don't know. Why she decided to marry him when she knew four kids were included in that package I will never know. All I know is that she didn't think of me, and that's where I am now.

So yeah, hopefully you get my problem. Sometime I don't even know what to think anymore. My mom getting married, us moving from our old island into this busy crap filled one, my shyness, my hopes to find my 'one true love.' I really don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up. Just you know, be alive but dead at the same time.

Oh crap, there I go being emotional again. I had better stop writing now; today's the first day of school. I think I'm ready, I think I'll be alright and make new friends, and maybe…find a boyfriend. Heck and the only thing running through my head now is this exact opposite: Tough luck failure.