A/N Read. Review. Good. Okay so Sirius is a beater on the Quidditch team for this.
Disclaimer: c'è stato un malinteso.
"Admit it, Sirius you're sick." Remus said turning the page in his book.
"Ab nob sib I'b pebpicly fibe"
"What'd he say?" Remus asked James.
"I think he said something like 'Am not sick. I'm perfectly fine.' at least I think."
"Sirius, just admit you're sick, go to Pomfrey, and get a potion."
"Nobe, I'b nob sib so I dob't neeb a potion." (Nope I'm not sick, so I don't need a potion)
"Then why do you sound like something crawled up your nose and died?" James asked.
"I dob't I soub jub fibe!" (I don't I sound just fine.) Sirius said right before he burst into a fit of coughing.
"You should go see Pomfrey." Remus said trying to feel Sirius's forehead but he lurched backward.
"James tell you idiot friend to go to the hospital wing.
"He's your idiot friend too."
"Jabsie, Rebus dob't kbow wab he talbing about!" (Jamsie Remus don't know what he's talking about."
"Apparently, you don't know what your talking about, Remus."
"James you do realize that if you allow him to not go to t he hospital wing, and he gets sicker, then he won't be able to play in the match against Slytherin, right?"
"But Jabsie, I'b fibe. Really. Ab if yob make me go tob the hobistal, Pomfrey wilb freak oub and nob let me play on Saburday." (But, Jamsie, I'm fine. Really. And if you make me go to the hospital, Pomfrey will freak out and not let me play on Saturday.)
"I'm with Sirius on this one." James decided.
"Idiots." Remus remarked.
"Seeb Rebus, I knob Jabsie woulb sibe with be." (See Remus, I knew Jamsie would side with me.)
"Whatever, let's go we have potions."
"Again I'm with Sirius on this one."
"And again it doesn't matter, because you're still going to potions."
"You're no fun, Remmie."
"That's what I'm here for." Remus said dryly as they left the common room and headed down to the dungeon for potions with Slughorn.
"Today were going to pair up by last name." Slughorn announced as everyone groaned. Sirius ended up being paired with Lily, and James was with Remus.
"All right , Black, just try not to screw it up okay?"
"Are you okay?"
"Why wab hab yob hearb? Nobthing is wrong with be! I'b perbicly fibe!" Sirius shrieked.
(Why what have you heard? Nothing is wrong with me! I'm perfectly fine!)
"Okay, then." Lily said looking at Sirius as though he were nuts.
"I thobt so." (I thought so.)
"Sirius! Stop scaring my woman!" James exclaimed.
"I'm not 'your woman' Potter, and if I ever, ever, ever, catch you saying that again it will be the last thing you ever say."
"Aww, I knew you loved me, Evans."
"She said RIGHT!"
"It's called sarcasm, Potter."
"She still said it!"
"Sirius! What did you do to the potion?!"
"Why's it turning black then???" Lily said in a panicked voice.
"Ub…becaube I sneebed ib it." (Um because I sneezed in it.)
"We're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail, we're going to fail."
"Cheer up Liby Ib'e faibled loabs of tibes!" (Cheer up Lily I've failed loads of times."
"That is not comforting! Professor?"
"Yes, Miss Evans?" Slughorn said smiling at his favorite pupil.
"Black sneezed in our potion and it turned black! Can we have time to redo it?"
"Sure, sure, Miss Evans, you can come during your free period."
"Thanks so much, Professor!"
"JAMES! You melted the cauldron! Of all the incompetent…" Remus screamed hysterically.
"Chill, Remmie, it's just a grade."
"JAMES do not call an F just a grade! Because that is what we are going to get an F!"
"Professor? Could James and I come in and redo the potion as well? Thanks to his staggering incompetence the potion is botched." Remus said knowing that since Slughorn disliked James insulting him could get them extra time.
"I suppose so."
End of lunch that day…
"Let's go, Black, we have a potion to redo, this time don't touch it." Lily said poking Sirius's arm. Sirius blinked blearily at her and then seemed to register what she said and nodded.
"Obay." (okay) Sirius said following her out of the Great Hall with James and Remus a few steps behind them bickering over whether it was James fault the cauldron had melted. (he had only added acidic herbs to it)
"All right, I'll be back at the end of the period, make your potions bottle them, and then leave."
"Pass me the mandrake." Lily ordered while Remus threatened James with bodily harm if he dared to touch their potion. Lily and Remus had finally decided to just order James and Sirius to the other side of the room after they had tried to add 'sparkles' to the potion. Sirius and James were currently sitting on a table a few feet away from Lily and Remus.
"I can't wait to beat Slytherin this weekend! It's going to be the highlight of the week. I've scheduled practice for tonight, and tomorrow, and Thursday, and Friday and also I got us an early practice Saturday morning right before the match."
"Ob joib" (Oh joy)
"Are you sure your okay?" James asked narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
"You wouldn't be lying to me to avoid the 'scary tyrant' would you?"
"Hiblo, Liby, howbs the pobton gobing?"
"Good. Now back away. Seriously, back away, ten feet, Sirius what are you doing? Sirius???" Lily exclaimed when Sirius picked up a bottle of a gold potion.
"Sirius! Put down the potion, back away from the cauldron."
"I wober whab this woulb do." (I wonder what this would do) Sirius said dumping the bottle into the cauldron. The effect was instantaneous the potion turned a molten silver and a plume of violet smoke floated up.
"Back away." Lily commanded everyone. Remus pulled James, who was staring at the cloud curiously, down under the desk.
"Sirius, get down." Remus hissed.
"Bub, it's so shiby." (But it's so shiny)
"I don't care."
"OOO, Shiby!" (ooo shiny) Sirius exclaimed as the smoke spread out cloaking the classroom in a fog, silver sparks shot out from the fog every so often.
"For, Merlin's sake, get down, Black!" Lily said reaching up grabbing Sirius's arm and pulling him down.
"Get over it." Lily said as a larger spark hit the ground right where Sirius had been standing.
"Professor Slughorn is going to kill us." Remus said panicked.
"We're going to fail!' Lily added. James and Sirius exchanged a look that clearly said 'So…?' The potion had changed from the molten silver to a sparkly magenta.
"Don't. Even. Think. About. Touching. It." Remus commanded.
"Bub, shiby!" (but, shiny)
"I. Don't. Care." The pink potion was melting through the potion and leaking onto the floor.
"We've got to get out of here." Lily exclaimed. "And when we do, Black, is never allowed near another potion again." The potion was inching closer to them, Remus and Lily quickly climbed up onto the desk.
"James, get up here!" Lily ordered.
"I didn't no you cared Evans."
"Bossy, aren't we.
"Potter!" Lily shrieked just as the potion reached James and Sirius as soon as the potion touched them they were surrounded in fog. When the fog finally cleared Lily could not hold back giggles. Sirius and James were dangling upside down from the ceiling their feet appeared to be glued to the ceiling.
"Geb be dowb!" (Get me down)
"What he said!"
A/N More to come! Review! Was originally going to be a one-shot but oh well! Review!