You Gotta Minute?
Psstt… you gotta minute?
Yeah, you. The person who just clicked on this Beautiful Ally chick's story in hopes that the newest little story would be a good one. I mean, seriously, what is with her? Doesn't write anything for who the hell knows how long, and now expects you to come running back like freaking homing pigeons. Screw that, this is my 'story' now.
Ignore Sam. He's been pissed at me for a while.
No, seriously. You're the reader. If you just think really hard, that freakishly tall guy will just disappear, and I can finish talking to you.
'What the hell Dean!'
You're not ignoring him are you? You're giggling at your computer right now imagining my brother slowly undoing his shirt for you while I stand awkwardly to the side. News flash; that guy wears like five different shirts at once; by the time he gets to the last one, it's not as sexy as you're imagining.
'I told you not to do this Dean. It's stupid.'
And so is he. Case closed. Sam gone.
So… while I have you for like thirty more seconds, let's get back to the case at hand. Or lack thereof. I bet you're getting pissed right now, wanting a high action story with a lot of Sam getting his ass kicked and me going big brother mode. That's right—this author knows exactly what you all like, but's a little bitch that won't post for months at a time. What happened to these damn things being updated every day; remember that? And speaking of updates, what happened to that chapter story My Name is Sam Something-or-other? Haven't heard hid nor freaking hare of that one lately huh?
You're still thinking of him aren't you? Of some tense story, maybe where he's been taken captive by some demonic force that is going to kill him unless I come swooping in at the last possible moment. And then after I heroically save his ass, we have a deep, heart-felt talk about our feelings, and then maybe have a beer and realize that everything will be okay as long as we have each other?
Or as Bobby would say, balls. You are getting none of that crap because this isn't even a real story. You should have realized that at the beginning when there was no title, genre or summary. This right here? –this is a cheap out way that this author is trying to shimmy out some reviews from you guys by posting a 'story' saying she's going to post something later.
'Dean, knock it off.'
Seriously Sammy. That's all this is. A feeble attempt to regain some dignity after months of not posting. And for what? To say 'Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while, but I have a Christmas one-shot which should be out tomorrow'? Shameless.
'Are you done yet?'
See what I have to deal with? Screw it. I'm going to grab myself that beer and relax. You, on the other hand, can either wait until tomorrow when this so called author writes her Christmas one shot, or you can type up a review in that vaguely opaque looking box bellow here and feed into her bribery. Your choice.
Now go back to undressing my brother.
Merry Christmas Y'all!