One Final Sin, Repent

Summary: (Poem/Oneshot) Edward's thoughts and feelings as he thinks about leaving Bella. New Moon spoilers!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer.

-My first Twilight/New Moon story! Yay me! I've never written a poem before, but I like it. Review and tell me what you think, please. Although I'm not threatening you, or anything. :D

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I sat in my room, leaning against the wall. Was it all mistake? To allow Bella into my world, toward the danger? Or was I being selfish? Wanting so desperately to gain happiness in my life, that I exluded all the consequences that could have come from my desicsion. I chuckled bitterly, my eyes closed. They did happen -these "conseuqences"- and now, I have to pay for it. Bella almost lost her life because of my selfish foolishness. . . Almost is just as horrible as,' She did lose her life.' Standing straight, I decide. Now, I'll just have to wait for tomorrow to come.

Pale, shimmering skin,

the moon is dark,

I'll never be able to repent my sin,

and it will remain my remorseful mark.

I pulled her toward the trail, and with a heavy sigh, I had leaned against a tree, preparing for the inevitable. My distance was obvious - emotionally and physically- to her. I couldn't have myself breaking down and taking mercy, now could I? Then, I'd never be able to bring her the safety and human happiness she deserved. Graduating, entering college, getting. . . married; to someone that wasn't me. At least he would be able to keep her safe.

Through those eyes, so full of sorrow,

my guilt gleams behind hard stone,

as I know what will happen tomorrow,

to this girl I will leave alone.

"Wait!" she had cried, choking on her own voice. I am a monster. I had run away, my figure a blur as leaves traveled after me. This was utterly, unbelievably monsterous of me. Maybe I shouldn't leave her? No, I must. . . I'm not good enough for her. She's human; in time, her memories of me will fade. . . eventually. I doubt mine will. How could I ever forget Bella? - The only one who ever shed light on my eternal darkness that I called a 'life'.

I run away into the green,

my chest tearing apart,

as I hear her horrible scream,

and my suddenly beating heart;

In order for her to be happy, I have to sacrifice mine. It's worth it - for Bella? Yes, it's definetely worth it.

Beating with strings of regret,

for the thing I have just done.

But it will be my debt,

for 'worse' things left undone.

The phone had slipped from my hand as I shut it off. If I could cry, I would. She was dead. My Bella, dead. I couldn't comprehend what was happening. 'Bella' and 'dead' in the same sentence? There was this aching, hollow feeling swimming in my chest, and it was eating away at me. I raked my fingers though my hair and slumped back against the wooden wall. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to die! With one final roar of pain, I ran for it. Toward my death. Life was meaningless.

Now, as I sit here in the dust,

I realize my biggest mistake.

I have left the person I love and lust,

in a pool of her own death and heartache.

The bell tolled, and a solemn, twisted smile spread across my face. I could vaguely hear my name though the pounds of sorrow, but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Bella. If there was a Heaven, then Bella would surely be in it, her angelic body shimmering. Then, we could be happy - reunited and together. If I was in Hell, it wouldn't matter. The pain would be gone, at least.

Don't fret, Bella,

my only Cinderella.

With one final smile, I stepped toward the sun. Someone was running toward me. I didn't care.

I'm coming.