Disclaimer: Owned by Christopher Paolini. Need I say more?
Summary: Along with saving the world from evil, Eragon and Saphira discover that they are needed for simple jobs. After killing a Shade and saving the Varden, how hard could herding sheep be? And how hard could clipping wool be? AU warning.
A/N: My very first Eragon fic! I'm using Wikipedia for name reference because I don't know the book too well.
" " is spoken outloud, ' ' is thoughts for Eragon and Saphira.
- - - - - - - - -Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy- - - - - - - - -
"To the gate Eragon, the gate!"barked Brom from behind the white fence.
"Yes, to gate Young Rider, to the gate!"called Murtagh, smiling wickedly.
"How about you two clam up and let me do this my own way!"cried Eragon, digging his heels into his blue dragon, turning her to block the sheep.
'You do not have to impale your feet into me' commented Saphira, stretching her neck to block the sheep once more.
'Sorry, but I am beginning to get frustrated!' said Eragon, getting Saphira into a run to hopefully stop the sheep from breaking. The sheep ignored the blue creature, running to the far end of their pasture.
"Blast those sheep! I hope they are all turned to lamb chops!"said Eragon as Saphira walked over to the fence, her rider hopping off.
"Really Eragon, they are sheep. You have no troubling getting them into this other pasture in no time, especially with such a wonderful beast"said Brom.
'Tell Brom I thank him' said Saphira, taking a taste of the wheat grass.
"Saphira thanks you"grunted Eragon, leaning against the fence.
"I have killed a Shade and done so many other feats! How could something so simple be so tedious!"
"It is not the task itself, but the effort it takes to make something hard"mused Brom.
"And those sheep are determined to make a fool of you"said Murtagh.
"You both have sick senses of humor I hope you know. Instead of mocking me, how about you help me?"asked Eragon, quite fed up.
"No, I do believe I will stay here and laugh at you"said Murtagh, breaking out into laughs as Eragon got back on Saphira.
'Let me try my hand at this Eragon, just be my rider not brain for now' said Saphira. Eragon sighed, leaning back to go along for the ride. Saphira first broke the sheep up, chasing the lead ram down the field. She continued to chase him, nipping at his heels, almost getting kicked in the face on more than one occasion. The ram soon stopped running all together, laying down to rest.
'Ah, with their leader down they shall crumble' mused the blue dragon, chasing the sheep down the long field, letting out a roar to keep the sheep running. Murtagh and Brom had begun to cheer her on, sheep running into the next pasture.
'And I do believe I have done your job Eragon' said Saphira, carefully grabbing the gate with her teeth and closing it.
"Oh shut-up Saphira"said Eragon out loud, angry he could not even herd some sheep.
'Do not mouth at me! I just completed your job, I should be getting thanks!' cried Saphira.
'Well if you just gave me more time I could have-'
'No, I am not going to hear it. Eragon, be gone.' Saphira then kicked up her back legs, sending Eragon off. Eragon landed with a thud on his back, gasping.
"Looks like somebody got dumped"said Murtagh, climbing over the fence to help Eragon up. A grumbled 'thank you' was spoken, Eragon going to slap Saphira's rump for that stunt. But Saphira merely flew off in the pasture, baring her teeth in a smile. Eragon began to chase her, never able to get even close to her as she flew off.
'Would you like me to let the sheep out for you to herd back by foot?' she asked.
'No! No! Do not do that please! I am sorry!' thought Eragon desperately. Saphira flew around, leaving Eragon to cath his breath.
"Ah, I see you got those beasties in, I thank ya for that"said the owner of the sheep.
"Really, you should thank her, Saphira"admitted Eragon, pointing to her as she flew down.
"Well I have another task for yall, all yall if yall don't mind"said the owner, pulling out-
"Shears?"all asked, even Saphira.
"Well course. Summers a'coming and I don't want them over heaten'. So I was thinking yall could clip 'em up. Here them shears"said the sheep man, handing Murtagh four pairs of shears, walking off.
"He does not expect me to do this, does he?"asked Murtagh. Murtagh could get down and dirty, but of course only when needed; he did not have to clip the sheep.
"Seems like someone cannot handle a living lamb chop"mused Eragon taking a pair of clippers.
"A sheep? I can certainly handle one"said Murtagh giving two shears to Brom.
'He did not expect me clip, did he?' asked Saphira, 'No thumbs.' All three humans went into the next pasture, Brom shedding some light.
"We have to hold them and shear, and he expects us to keep the wool together"he said.
"What makes you say we keep it?"asked Eragon looking at the shears.
"Because here he comes with bags." Indeed, the sheep owner was running up, dark green sacks in his hands.
"I need ya to make sure all that wool is kept. Me and my wife weave it, ya know?" Murtagh took the sacks, sighing.
"Yes we know"he sighed. The sheep owner left, Brom already holding a sheep.
"Somebody shear it already"he said. Eragon stepped up, staring at the flailing sheep.
"Cut it's wool off!"
"I do not know how!"
"Move over"said Murtagh pushing Eragon out his way, beginning to shear the sheep. The wool came out in large pieces, Eragon bagging it.
"Instead of just Brom holding, how about I hold as well and you Murtagh shear?"asked Eragon, "Saphira can put the wool in."
'Me? How do you propose this?' asked Saphira.
'It's called your mouth, now stop talking, more stuffing' said Eragon stiffly going to grab a sheep. They soon had a plan that worked: Brom and Eragon would grab the sheep, Murtagh would take the wool off, and Saphira would manipulate the wool into the bag by means of mouth or claws. The hours began to pass, and still there were sheep with heavy, fluffy coats. And somehow they all finished, the sun just beginning to set.
"Ah, I see yall sheared my sheep. And you even filled those bags! Good for ya"said the sheep man as Brom was tying the bags closed, Murtagh and Eragon leaning against Saphira. Sapgira began to cough and sputter, all looking over in concern.
'Sorry, wool in my throat' she said.
"She is fine"said Eragon. Murtagh was looking at his hands, red and swollen spots showing up.
"I do not see how clipping sheep could do this to me, I do not!"he said.
"And you think holding sheep was easy?"asked Eragon hotly rolling up his sleeves exposing many bruises. There were many sizes, varying in all shades of blue and purple.
"I see you also came in contact with the fury of the sheep"said Brom.
"If by fury you mean hooves and teeth yes"muttered Eragon.
"I must congratulate you both for doing so well"said Brom, "And you Saphira, a job well done for attacking that wool like a beast!" Saphira smiled, swishing her tail proudly.
'Yes, I did do well. And if any of you would like to know, it tasted like eating cotton. If you'll excuse me I am going to drink gallons of water' said Saphira, stretching out her wings and taking off.
"We should be off now, before that crazy sheep man asks us to put his sheep into some stable"said Murtagh. All agreed, walking off just in time as the sheep man returned. They met Saphira, who indeed had drunk much water, and still holding some in her mouth.
'Enjoy your water?'asked Eragon, patting her squishy cheek. She swallowed, nodding.
Now that I think about it, Eragon would know how to shear sheep, coming from that farming backround right? And can other people hear Saphira, or did I just interpret wrong? I most likey did so yeah...