A/N: Protectors of the Plot Continuum was founded by Jay and Acacia. Excerpts in italics taken from Riftangel by Torchedgirl.
As soon as the agents entered the fic they were thrown off their feet.
"Time rift already?" Emma shouted.
"No, it appears there is a Rift-quake."
The whole Hub was shaking and the Torchwood Team were holding on to railings, door frames and each other for dear life. Gwen was injured when part of the roof came down. Then the quake stopped.
The agents scrambled to their feet and took inventory of the damages.
Gwen was bleeding profusely from a wound in her side. Owen picked her up and rushed her down to the Autopsy Pit to see to her injuries. Ianto had a large gash on his shin, but wasn't complaining.
"Why do people think that characters that keep to themselves mostly don't even ask for help when they need medical attention?" Tasmin asked. "They're loners, not morbidly stupid."
Jack helped Ianto down to the Autopsy Pit where Owen tended to his wound after he had taken care of Gwen. In the mean time Tosh returned to her computer to assess the damages. She reported that she had found the cause of the Rift activity. Some sort of angelic creature. Jack decided that he, Owen and Tosh would check it out. He instructed Ianto to make Gwen some coffee and sit with her.
While Jack and the others drove to the scene of the angelic creature, the agents took a portal.
A small area had been cordoned off by the police. Team Torchwood just sauntered past the barrier. Owen hurried forward to the creature when he noticed it was injured. His doctor instincts took over.
The agents had taken position among the crowd on the other side of the police tape.
"Just think, Torchwood has to retcon all these people," Emma whispered.
"Torchwood has become decidedly slack about retcon," Tasmin replied. "They're a public secret themselves."
When Owen was almost next to the creature it unfolded one of its wings. Owen staggered back and fell. The creature got up.
In his opinion she was a perfectly normal woman, 19 years old with injuries from a fall. The only thing 'wrong' with her was the fact that she had white wings.
"Perfectly normal women don't have wings."
The woman fainted. Jack and Owen picked her up and carried her over to the SUV.
The agents were transplanted to the Archives. Which is a nice way of saying that the scene shift propelled them to the Hub and threw them against some wall to wall filing cabinets.
"I hate absent scene breaks," Emma growled as she scrambled to her feet.
"The FLF must have switched to automatic again." Tasmin opened her bag to search for the offending piece of equipment.
"I hate FLFs with wobbly switches too."
Before Tasmin could set the FLF to manual both agents were thrown into the Autopsy Pit.
"I really hate these things." Emma propped her self up on an elbow. She didn't see the point in getting up completely. "Why were we down in the Archives in the first place?"
"Apparently we needed to be told that Ianto likes to be in the Archives." Tasmin had gotten to her feet and studied the Words. She turned to give her partner a disapproving look.
Behind her, in the Autopsy Pit, Owen began a full diagnosis of the creature. Jack checked on Gwen. Then the creature was placed in a cell.
"That was a rather quick full analysis," Emma noted.
"How much time does it really take to diagnose a Sue?"
Owen ran some blood tests and was shocked at the results he found. Jack came to look at his computer over his shoulder.
Tasmin ran up the stairs to look over Owen's other shoulder.
It showed an image of a 3D human. Then a load of graphs popped up on the page. Jack looked at them and shrugged his shoulders.
"Look at this. Right this is an average human," explained Owen. "And this is our new lodger…notice a similarity?"
"…Yeah…but, that means that…she's human!" Jack asked, realising what Owen was showing him.
"Uh, no. Humanoid perhaps. Wouldn't go as far as calling her human."
Owen then pulled up some of the Sue's DNA -- showing it in a 3D-model of the double helix -- and showed that some of the sequences were different from human DNA.
"Exactly what I said: not human, humanoid."
"Did he get a supercomputer because he's been such a good boy?" Emma asked.
Tasmin was so engrossed with the picture that her partner's question startled her. "Torchwood has excellent funding."
Jack decided to call everyone together in the Boardroom, except for Ianto as he figured him to be busy.
"Ignoring Ianto as a valued member of the team." Emma made a note. "Even if this alternate reality, there is no reason to dismiss a character like that."
"It seems he and Jack have issues."
"They have issues all right."
The agents sat down in the Boardroom with the others and Owen started his slide show.
"If you look at the DNA, she has the same DNA as us…only there's some parts that have been added."
"Humans have 96 percent of their DNA in common with chimpanzees," Tasmin said. "You would have sounded less silly if you had deducted she was human from her blood group. That's probably also quicker to determine than a full DNA analysis."
Owen explained that he thought the added DNA came from an animal.
Here are the genes that depict what limbs an average human will grow, it has been replaced with an eagle gene.
"That's a rather simplistic representation of the number of genes that are actually involved in growing limbs. Besides, it doesn't explain why she has two legs, two arms and two wings," Tasmin pointed out. "She'd require both eagle wing genes and human limb genes for that. Plus, even though the human genome has been mapped, this does not mean that scientists also know what the function is of individual genes, like which genes are needed to grow limbs. The eagle genome has not been mapped and identified yet. Owen can't even know these things without Torchwood having access to a DNA database from the future."
Jack pointed out that this was years ahead of their time.
"That's what I said."
Then Owen showed his most shocking discovery: the Sue had a tattoo of the Torchwood logo on her left ankle.
"We did this to her, that's our logo!" Cried Gwen
Jack started barking orders. To Owen to check Torchwood's history of experiments, to Tosh to find the winged woman in their records, to Gwen to find Ianto.
The agents followed Gwen and Jack, who went down to the Archives together. Jack said they should give the Sue a name because she was human.
"The man named the Weevil," Tasmin grumbled. "I doubt its humanity was a consideration there."
Ianto limped into the corridor. He looked absent mindedly when Jack called out to him. Jack told him he needed to identify and name the Sue. Ianto asked him why he didn't use the computers.
He was curious to why Jack hadn't used the Hub computers; the team never asked him about anything from the archives.
Emma and Tasmin both rolled their eyes. "I guess dismissing Ianto's character is running rampant in this fic. Even he is doing it," Emma said.
Ianto went with Gwen and Jack to the cells to take a look at the Sue.
The agents joined them, but tried to stay out of the line of vision of the Sue.
The Sue was rolled up into a ball on the floor. Ianto recognised her immediately.
He took in a deep breath at her stark beauty.
"Stark beauty?" Emma asked. "Is that the same as stark nonsense?"
"Probably," Tasmin replied. "Though, here I think is meant that the Sue was butt naked."
"Ianto called the Sue Lily and she woke up. She got up and walked to the glass wall. She asked to be let out.
"She's perceptive," Tasmin said. "She was unconscious when she went into that cell."
"She probably woke up before. This fic is very fuzzy about how long it took Owen to run his tests."
"I'm sure they took less time then they should have."
Gwen came closer to the glass, which startled the Sue. Gwen assured her she wouldn't hurt her. The Sue now approached her, her head cocked with curiosity, but when Jack stepped up to the glass the Sue dove away and cowered at the far end of the cell. Jack realised this was because he had aimed his gun at her when they first met.
"I assure you that I won't shoot you…see." Jack pulled out his gun and tossed it across the cell area.
Tasmin caught the Webley Revolver with her foot and picked it up.
"Great, we've got an imposter!Jack here," Emma said. "Shall I start looking for the real one?"
"One moment." Tasmin pulled the Canon Analysis Device from her bag and pointed it at Jack. "He's canon," she read out. "Just not very much in character."
Jack opened the cell door and Ianto walked in to help the Sue up.
"Exactly what part of 'Torchwood Experiment' spells 'not likely to be dangerous'?" Emma asked. "Okay, presumably Sleeper hasn't happened yet in this reality, but that doesn't mean none of them had enough imagination to contemplate the possibility of a weapon in disguise."
"Perhaps they trust Ianto's judgement that she's no danger."
"That would be the first time in this fic they trust Ianto. And what poor timing they have."
Tasmin nodded. "Even if they had had trust in him before, they still should have asked him first how he knew the Sue and what he knows about her."
Ianto led the Sue out of her cell and to the Boardroom.
When Jack walked past the agents Tasmin returned his gun to him. "Try to be more careful where you throw this next time. It's nearly an antique."
Jack smirked. "Do you have any idea how much it pained me to part with this weapon?" He stuffed the Webley back in his holster. "I guess I'll be seeing you two again later?"
"We'll try not to be too long," Emma replied.
Ianto sat the Sue down in the Boardroom and then he went to fix some beverages. When he returned Jack started the meeting.
The agents positioned themselves at Gwen's workstation and tapped into the CCTV from the Boardroom. Now that the Sue was conscious they couldn't get any closer.
"Have you fixed the audio link yet?" Emma asked. "I haven't heard Owen make any snarky comments about her nudity."
"Audio's fine. He hasn't made any snarky comments. Neither has anyone else said anything about her nudity."
"Not even to mention that she'd need clothes?"
"Careless." Emma made a note on the charge sheet.
Jack introduced his team and then he asked the Sue to introduce herself.
"My…my name is experiment eight zero two, codename…Lily. I was created in a Laboratory in London in the year 1940. The scientists…were part of Torchwood. They spliced my DNA using a piece of alien technology that fell through a Rift near Glasgow soon after Torchwood was created. I was created to finish the war, as the Royal family was in danger."
"This guinea pig knows a lot about herself."
"Perhaps she read the lab journals."
The Sue continued her story: on the day of her first training exercise she fell through the Rift. Jack then told her that the war was over and that she was at Torchwood Cardiff.
I expect that you were briefed on what Torchwood does?
"Why would Torchwood brief their guinea pigs on what Torchwood does?"
Tasmin shrugged. "Probably to save Jack from having to repeat the opening credits' voice over. For her, it makes no sense. They created her as a weapon. All she'd need to know was how to be weaponry and destroy the enemy. I doubt that would require much knowledge about what Torchwood actually does."
The Sue further explained that she learned to fly at the age of seventeen.
"1940 plus seventeen makes 1957. War was long over by then," Emma said.
"Unless she's counting in bird years," Tasmin said. "Or her genetic manipulation did not take place in embryonic state, but when she was seventeen and a nearly fully grown human."
Whatever the Sue meant, she claimed that along with her an aircraft -- a German bomber, she thought -- was pulled into the Rift. On cue, Jack's wrist communicator announced an aircraft had just landed.
"Let's go meet that plot device," Tasmin said. She closed the CCTV feed on the workstation and pulled the remote activator from her duffel bag.
Jack, Gwen, Owen and Tosh piled into the SUV. Ianto and the Sue followed in Ianto's car.
"How does she do that with her wings? How does she fold them to be comfortable?"
"Charge, not taking own anatomy into consideration before getting into a car. Another charge, still being naked."
Tosh had given the Sue a hand-held computer to scroll through Torchwood's database for an image of the craft she had seen.
"Prrrgh, eeee," Emma squeaked. "A fatal error has occurred. Please reboot fandom."
Torchwood arrived at the scene of the crashed airship, which the Sue had identified as Mahorven. Ianto and the Sue were told to stay in the car, but Jack left an extra gun with them. The rest of the team took position around the nose of the crashed alien ship. A single figure emerged and Jack addressed it in an alien tongue. The alien claimed to be unarmed. Jack didn't believe it and the alien attacked. Jack shot it dead. More of the aliens came out of the ship. The Sue jumped from the car and shot them.
"Overachiever," Emma muttered. "There's at least four other people around with guns and weapons training and she's the only one that makes any kills."
The alien carcasses self-combusted and turned to dust.
That's what I like about the Mahorvens, they turn to dust when they die, no clean up for us.
"I think you've overlooked the big IFO, Jack," Emma said. "That hasn't gone anywhere."
"IFO?" Tasmin asked against her better judgement.
"Identified Flying Object."
"Should have known."
Ianto was still aware of the alien space craft. Unfortunately so. When he walked towards it he was hit by a dart that suddenly shot out of the side of the hull. Ianto collapsed.
The team hurried back to the Hub.
The agents stayed behind and looked at the Mahorven ship.
"Why didn't any of them stay behind to cordon off the area to prevent innocent bystanders from getting hurt?" Emma asked. "For an organisation that is supposed to prepare society for the future they show damn little consideration for public safety."
"Charge," Tasmin replied. "Though cordoning off is more UNIT's thing."
"Then they should have called UNIT in."
Tasmin nodded. "Let's go to the Hub. See if they can save Ianto."
At the Hub Gwen was sitting with Ianto, Jack was pacing and acting out his frustration, Tosh and Owen were working on finding an antidote.
It was strange seeing Owen work for once.
"If you'd bothered to watch Series One you'd have found Owen works just as hard, sometimes harder, than any of the others." Emma glared at the Words.
"Just write down the charge of Owen bashing. You'll feel better." Tasmin took up position by the Boardroom's glass window to look into the Hub and at the same time keep an eye on the Words.
Emma pulled up one of the Boardroom chairs and sat down before she started scribbling charges in her notepad.
Ianto was hooked up to an array of machines that checked his vital signs, and others that kept his vitals going. Jack had predicted that there were only three hours to find an antidote or the poison from the dart would be lethal.
Tosh announced to have found the antidote. Owen snatched the print-out from her hand and started throwing together substances into an anti-lethal cocktail.
"I understand he's a little stressed, but I doubt Tosh's recipe says: haphazardly throw together these ingredients."
Tasmin nodded. "More like a microgram of this, two microlitres of that. Add 'Owen bad at chemistry' to his 'bad at biology'."
"I have the more general 'bad science' as a charge."
"That'll work. Not as precise, but it'll work."
Owen injected Ianto with the mix, then stepped back and waited for results.
"What are the chances that Ianto comes out of this without brain damage?"
"Considering that his heart actually stopped for a moment..." Tasmin looked pensive." And considering this is fanfic, which rarely deals with serious consequences seriously... I doubt he will have brain damage."
The antidote caught on. Jack hugged Tosh and Gwen in relief. Owen started switching off Ianto's life-support machinery. Soon after Ianto woke up.
"And there was much rejoicing," Emma said.
"Yay," Tasmin added dryly.
The poison that was in the dart would have killed you in three hours, you were out for 2 hours and 59 minutes. Another minute and…
"Poison that works on a clock? It's not exactly a time-bomb."
"It depends in part on how fast the biological system that was poisoned works, how quickly a poison will be lethal. I, definitely, wouldn't set my watch to it."
"What would you set your watch to?"
"The atomic clock," Tasmin replied.
Ianto was moved to the sofa and told to stay off his feet and drink as much coffee as he liked.
"I don't think coffee is a good antidote to poisoning," Tasmin said. "It's sort of poison itself."
"Don't let the Ianto fangirls hear you say that."
Ianto himself opted for water and Owen hurried to fetch it for him.
Ianto suddenly realised that he wasn't wearing his suit. Instead he had a large, white, baggy T-shirt. He recognised it as Jack's. Also he was supporting a pair of light blue jeans that seemed to fit nicely. He shuddered at the fact that they were Owen's.
"How come we hadn't noticed that?" Emma asked.
"Because it wasn't mentioned before," Tasmin replied. "And because we assumed there wasn't time to play dress up with Ianto with the clock ticking to find an antidote."
Now that Ianto was saved Tosh used a satellite-guided laser to blow up the Mahorven ship.
"Laser can't do that," Tasmin said. "Not unless you fill the ship with explosives and use laser to detonate it."
Everyone went about their business. The Sue, who didn't have any business at Torchwood, curled up on the sofa next to Ianto and fell asleep. Ianto feel asleep too, but Jack decided he ought to answer some questions about the Sue and woke him up. Ianto said he would explain. Jack called everyone -- except the Sue -- to the Boardroom.
Emma moved her chair back to the conference table. She looked at each of the team members with anticipation.
They, in turn, all looked at Ianto.
Ianto started to talk. He had learned about the Sue in the Archives about a week earlier. He told about a secret part of Torchwood -- the agents barely contained their chuckles -- which had a way to track the Sue. It would come for her and continue to train her as a weapon.
"It would be too much to expect that this secret part of Torchwood used to share its offices with Torchwood One."
If I'm right in thinking they already know she's here.
Predictably, the alarm bells started ringing.
"I wonder who that is," Tasmin mused.
"Probably a stray cat that set off the hypersensitive motion detectors."
The team quickly set to work on finding out where the intruders were. Jack assured the Sue they would not let her be taken away. Owen activated lock down. Ianto found three intruders four levels down. Two of them were armed. Then he turned around to give the Sue cuddles.
Without anyone paying attention the intruders managed to reach the main Hub area and opened fire on the team.
"This glass is bullet-proof, right?" Emma pushed her fingers against the glass to test it.
"Don't see the point to it. Unless they expect a lot of indoor shoot outs," Tasmin replied.
The team ducked for cover.
Owen had pulled Gwen sharply to the floor and covered her body with his chest.
Gwen had shrunk considerably to accommodate the fic.
The Sue gave herself and Ianto cover with her wings. She shouted, "Stop!" and everyone held their fire. The Sue addressed one of the intruders as doctor Woodrow. He appeared to be her creator. He claimed to have found, and lost, a cure for ageing.
"Ageing is not a disease. It's an effect of time moving on. He found something to halt the process of deterioration commonly associated with ageing and prevent the diseases and discomforts that come from that."
"You're debating semantics again," Emma said.
While the Sue and Woodrow bantered no one paid attention to his two henchmen. One of them snuck around to Ianto and put a gun against his head. Now Woodrow had the upper hand. The Sue gave herself up. Jack also put his gun to the ground.
The Sue was put in handcuffs. Jack played his last card: the Hub was in lock down and wouldn't open for another three hours. Woodrow just smiled and pulled a device from his pocket. With a simple press of the button he overwrote Torchwood's security protocol.
Jack was suitably stunned.
The three intruders led the Sue away.
Then the team heard noise coming from outside and rushed to the street to see what it was.
"They heard an outside noise in the Hub? Did Woodrow open up the invisible lift as well?"
"Don't think so. I think we should check out what's going on." Tasmin opened a portal.
The agents stepped through the portal on to Roald Dahl Plass. The place was deserted except for the bodies of the three intruders. The Sue was sitting on the roof of a nearby building. Team Torchwood entered said building and ran up the stairs to talk to the Sue.
"Ianto and Gwen exerting themselves within twenty-four hours of coming back from the brink of death, slash, sustaining a severe injury." Emma scribbled down the charge.
The Sue said she had to go away, more would come after her and she needed to hide. Ianto said she could hide at the Hub.
I was cooped up in that place for 19 years, that's all I remember.
"I thought she said she was seventeen?" Emma said.
Tasmin threw her a look.
"Can we charge her with having a bird-brain memory?"
"She never said bad memory came with the genetic engineering."
A large tank rolled up the Plass.
Tasmin rolled her eyes. "The Words say 'large tank'. Fic doesn't know what to do, so just picks the largest tank it could find in British military history. Which is the FV214 Conqueror. Currently only found at museums on military history."
Despite being out of service this tank had no problem turning its gun barrel to point it in the direction of the Sue. The tank fired a blank.
Jack looked over the edge of the building and ran his hands through his hair when he saw the UNIT logo on the side of the tank. The team ran back down the stairs and out into the Plass. In the mean time the tank driver had climbed out of the tank and the Sue had swooped down and stolen his helmet. She flew out over the bay with it. The soldier loaded a large gun and aimed it at the Sue.
Jack ran to the soldier and shifted the gun slightly as the barrel exploded.
The agents ducked for cover from flying bits of Jack and UNIT soldier. Strangely enough, the two of them were all right. Rather, it had been the Sue who was hit by the shrapnel. She dropped down from the sky into the water. Everyone ran to the waterside.
Ianto slipped off his jacket as he ran and jumped into the water like an Olympic swimmer.
"He should have taken off the rest of his clothes as well," Tasmin said as the agents searched the water for a sign of the Sue. "The seconds he loses undressing are easily won back by being much quicker in the water."
Ianto pulled the Sue out of the water. Owen began CPR as soon as she was on dry land. Tosh and Gwen cried. The CPR worked as it got the Sue back to breathing. She was taken back to the Hub where Owen could take care of her gun shot wound. Jack also took the soldier back to the Hub.
The agents took up positions back in the Boardroom. Emma reviewed the charge list. "I think we have about enough charges to charge this Sue."
"Yeah, we should make it quick. I don't think she's going to survive for much longer." Tasmin nodded at the Words.
The bullet had done extensive damage. Owen had tried to sort it out as best as he could, but it was no use. The Sue died when Ianto was having a post-op chat with her.
"Damn." Tasmin hit the glass with her fist. "We have to take the Sue out of this fic, or her memory will live on."
"We'll just have to go back a few-" Emma was cut off by an unexpected time rift. ""I thought you'd fixed that thing," she said. She was propped up against the wall of the interrogation room in a rather awkward position (her right shoulder touched the floor and her legs were above her). She tried to tumble to a sitting position.
"Must have slipped back into automatic," Tasmin mumbled. She had impacted with the wall slightly more comfortably.
In the middle of the room the tank driver sat, tied to a chair. Jack was busy torturing him. The rest of the team was watching.
"See," Tasmin said, "unless we take out the Sue, she will have a lasting influence. She's making all of the team think torture is an acceptable form of interrogation."
"The soldier did say 'make me'."
"That's another thing. Soldiers are instructed to, upon capture, answer all questions with their name, rank and serial number."
After being electrocuted by Jack the soldier managed his name, rank and mission statement. Then Ianto pulled the soldier's hair and asked him where the secret Torchwood's secret base was.
The agents were too annoyed to chuckle.
The soldier replied he carried this information in his pocket. Ianto took the disk, Tosh decrypted the info on her laptop and then Team Torchwood pulled out.
Jack stopped Ianto on the stairs and gave him his gun.
"You should get the honour." He then looked at the soldier. "That woman was innocent…I hope you burn in hell."
"Wow!" Both agents jumped in front of the soldier.
"This soldier was following orders!" Tasmin shouted. "What you are proposing is murder."
"And in no way honourable."
"She... she was innocent," Ianto stammered. He had a glassy look in his eyes.
"She was a potentially dangerous weapon. He did what he was assigned to do, protect the country against a dangerous weapon."
Jack shook his head and took his Webley back from Ianto. "I had expected to see you back a little bit earlier, ladies. You have any idea what could have happened?"
"I did tell you to be more careful about your gun."
"Yes, but telling Jack to keep it in his pants isn't really going to work," Emma said. She smirked. Tasmin just rolled her eyes.
"C'mon, Ianto. Let's go upstairs." Jack put his arm around Ianto and gently guided him up the stairs and out of the room.
"Thank you," the soldier said. "You've saved my life."
"Sadly, no." Tasmin said. She dug through her duffel bag to find one of her own guns.
"Or we could recruit him for the PPC."
Tasmin looked at her partner. "I think a memo went out from Upstairs: no more recruiting of badfic characters unless you are going to feed them yourself. Besides, he's a bit character. He doesn't even have a personality to speak of." Before the soldier could protest that assessment Tasmin had shot him between the eyes. "Now, let's see if we can resurrect that Sue for long enough that we can kill her."
Rather than actually trying to resurrect the Sue -- there wasn't a resurrection glove on hand anyway -- the agents went back into the fic just after the operation. She was in, what the fic called, the medical bay hooked up to a number of machines. Tasmin turned the nob on one of them which caused the machine to emit a high pitched sound. The Sue flew up from the bed.
"So good to see you are a wake."
"Who are you?"
"We're Protectors from the Plot Continuum. We're here to charge you with crimes against fanfiction and Torchwood fiction in general."
"Dear Lily, or experiment eight zero two." Emma smiled and unfolded her notepad. "We charge you with bad spelling, and bad punctuation. We charge you with bad science, particularly with the oversimplification of genetics and DNA. We charge you with Owen being a bad scientist, added to his bad grasp of biology -- he thinks a woman with wings is perfectly normal -- he makes a mess of chemistry when he tosses ingredients together for an antidote without measuring them. We charge you with bad characterisation of Owen, plus bashing his character. We charge you with bashing Ianto's character, by making the team -- including Ianto himself -- not regard Ianto as a valuable member of the team.
"We charge you with Ianto regarding your stark beauty, which we took to mean naked beauty, but never mentioning that you may need clothes. We charge you with no one ever making any comments about the fact that you are butt naked."
As if this was the first time she realised it the Sue pulled together her legs and tried to cover herself with her arms.
"We're not interested, Toots." Emma glanced her charge sheet and continued, "We charge you with the team going out of their way to make you feel comfortable and not being worried in the least that you might be dangerous. You may pull the 'I'm helpless' act, but that shouldn't have fooled Jack. He would not have thrown his gun across the floor so you would not be afraid of him. He would have found out first what kind of experiment you are and how dangerous you are, before letting you out of that cell. Jack would not let you come with them on an outing before he had figured out you were harmless and or useful. Tosh would not have given you a handy hand-held device before this was known. They really are more careful than this.
"Also, they would consider public safety a bit more. They would not have waited three hours before protecting the general public from the danger of the Mahorven ship. It's part of their job to take care of dangers like that before the public has a run in with them. We charge you with outfitting that ship with poisonous darts and dumb aliens that go on the attack unarmed. We charge you with having set poison interact with a biological system and yet working on a clock. Biological systems don't work that predictably.
"We charge you with strangers breaking in to Torchwood and the team not really being bothered so that the strangers can enter the main Hub without anyone noticing. We charge you with said strangers sneaking up on Ianto while everyone is in the same room. We charge you with killing several aliens and three intruders and Jack still calling you innocent. We charge you with Jack giving his gun to Ianto so that he can commit murder."
"I don't know anything about that."
"It's yet to happen," Tasmin said. "Or won't happen if we can help it. Think of us as the cops acting on information from precogs from Minority Report."
"Can I go on? We charge you with being able to sit in a car with those wings of yours. In short, we charge you with being a Mary Sue. Any last words before we kill you?"
"But you can't kill me. I didn't do anything wrong."
"Were you not paying attention while I just read out that charge sheet? Do I have to read out the whole thing again?"
Before the Sue could reply to that Tasmin had shot her. "I don't care about her; I don't want to hear that whole thing again."
A/N: I know how TV shows and films oversimplify what is already known about genetics and how genes and DNA work. This often causes people with more knowledge of biology than the average person to rant at their TVs. Owen could have shown in a lot of different ways that Lily was possibly human (her blood group, her skeletal build) before he had to revert to "look, humans don't have these genes".Though I don't know all that much about DNA myself, I know it is complexer than that, and I'd like that factoid to be acknowledge in fic. Besides, how the angel was made isn't so important to the fic as is the fact that she was made. Owen could have argued it must have been genetic engineering because Lily didn't have any operating scars. That would have made sense and it would have avoided Owen talking about things he can't know yet.