A/N: New story. :D It's very weird, very awkward, and possibly crazy. I blame: no sleep, KH parodies on Youtube, crazy fan fictions.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or really, anything else in this story. :'D


I'm the kind of girl that hangs with the guys,

Like a fly on the wall with my secret eyes,

Takin' it in, tryin' to be feminine,

With my make up bag watchin' all the sin,

Misfit, I sit,

Lit up, wicked,

Everybody else surrounded by the girls,

With tank tops on and the flirty ways

"Hell yeah!" A redhead bounced around behind the bar, a contradicting red T-shirt on with a design on the back that promoted the restaurant in some way. "Doesn't this just get you pumped to start molesting a cute little boy?!"

"No, no it doesn't Axel." A lilac haired man, roughly twenty or so, just a year younger than Axel, spoke with an air of superiority over the other even it he was younger. "You are a sick perverted freak and shouldn't be allowed to work right across from a high school campus."

"You're no fun, Zexion." Axel pouted slightly. There wasn't anyone in there restaurant anyway, he could be as loud and obnoxious as he possibly wanted. He moved from behind the bar and began advancing on where the hostess was supposed to be waiting to seat customers. Instead there stood a pink haired man, who could, if he pleased, pass as a woman. His deep voice might give him away, though.

"Marly! Marly!" Axel jumped onto the man's back, holding tight around Marluxia's neck. He was met with a punch and a trip to the floor.

"The next time you decide to drink on the job and turn on the jukebox you're dead meat." Marluxia hissed, gently kicking Axel as he laid on the floor. Axel turned his head lightly, his eyes catching on two black and white sneakers. Those weren't Marluxia's. Marluxia liked light pinks and purples. Sometimes blue.

"How can I help you?" Axel could hear Marluxia asking.

"I need to place orders and take them back to the school." An unfamiliar voice answered. The voice was sexy, suave, cute, seductive, attractive, but most of all it was molestable. A boy's voice, about fifteen. Axel couldn't help it if he was attracted to not only men but men that weren't legal, right? He sat up slowly, looking up as he did so. He got everything he had thought from just analyzing the voice. Swirly blonde hair, clear blue eyes, pouty lips, and a sort of impatient aura around him. Fifteen too.

"You can just sit at the bar while they get the order ready." Marluxia turned, leading the boy towards the bar. The boy stuck his hands in the pockets of his dark blue zipper hoodie and followed after. Axel followed shortly behind, staring at the boy's ass the whole time. When the boy's butt was hidden by a stool Axel took it upon himself to get the boy's order.

"Himyname'sAxel, Commitittomemory, howcanIhelpyou?" Axel's sentences got smushed and compromised into one whole sentence.

"Here." Roxas handed him a folded notebook paper note with the orders of the teachers written on it. At first Axel thought it was his phone number. He was out of luck. When he opened it all he got was a bunch of food names.

"Coming right up…" Axel muttered and walk off towards the kitchen.

Meanwhile…

Roxas sat at the bar, slowly moving the top of the stool this way and that, making a half circle before going back the other way. He has a small smile on his face while doing this, for the stool made a squeaking noise as he went. Zexion watched the boy, intrigued by how a stool could entertain him so. Then Zexion's mind drifted to other things. Like how Axel could possibly find a totally off limits boy hot. Then again, Zexion didn't know how Axel could think another man was hot. Oh yes, fan girls, Zexion is straight.

"Soooo, what's your name?" Axel was back, and somehow he had slipped into a seat next to Roxas without either Roxas or Zexion noticing.

"Roxas." He stated simply, stopping his little stool fiesta and giving Axel a cold look. There was no trace of a smile anymore.

Play it cool Axel, you don't want to scare him away or get a lawsuit. Axel thought while watching the boy.

"Why are you staring at me?" Roxas asked. Axel blinked a few times. He hadn't noticed he'd been staring for that long.

"I wasn't staring." Way to go Axel, way to play it cool. His inside self rolled his eyes.

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were, Axel." Zexion this time. He was glaring a one-eyed glare from behind his Emo hair while drying a glass. Even though he could only see one eye, Axel could feel both trying to kill him.

There was dead silence.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

Roxas was back to his crazy stool antics. Zexion and Axel were still in silence, both watching him. One with lust and one with lack of anything better to do. Oh, if only it weren't illegal to just jump the kid right then.

Axel had to think quickly. He had to get the boy talking to him. And he knew one way to do it too. He opened his mouth and just let the first thing fall out.

"My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to."

Roxas stared, horrified. Zexion stared, horrified. Axel stared, horrified. Then something happened that none of them expected. Roxas. Poked. Axel. In. The. Side.

"You're not laughing." Roxas said bluntly. He was a blunt kid. He poked one more time. At this one, Axel did laugh. Roxas got this huge evil smirk on his face. He lifted both his hands, flexed his fingers in a very Spirit Finger-like way then proceeded to tickle Axel. Somehow the kid knew all of his ticklish spots. In no time Axel was laughing hysterically.

In a matter of five minutes Axel was lying on the ground, tears in his eyes, with Roxas straddling him at the waist and still tickling him. Axel was too busy getting tickled to be even slightly turned on by this. Not really.

There were two things that made Roxas stop and get off. A bus boy with a Mohawk…thing came to give him the food he was sent to get. The second thing was that he felt something poking his ass and he was sure Axel didn't carry around miniature bats in his pants.

As he was collecting the food and paying Axel came over to him. "Mind if I pick you up after school?"

Roxas and the bus boy looked at Axel with 'WTF?!?!?!' looks on their faces. Roxas was pretty sure by now that Axel was a pedophile, from the looks of his pants. But he'd have to ride the bus since he wasn't old enough to drive and wasn't cool enough to have older friends. And he HATED the bus. The bus driver always seemed to almost kill them without noticing and not only that but it smelled, they weren't allowed to eat or drink on it, iPods could only tune out so much noise, and it was very bumpy.

"Sure. I'll wait up front." Roxas took the change and picked up the plastic back that carried the Styrofoam boxes that held the food. "Don't be late." And with those last words he left the restaurant.

"I hope that kid has the police on speed dial.." Marluxia muttered underneath his breath.


The bell rang. Roxas was happy. He didn't have to ride the bus today! He might be felt up but who cared?! He got a free ride! He was on cloud nine when a strong, firm hand clamped on his shoulder and held him back from going out the door.

"Roxas, I want you to stay behind for a moment." Oh great. The teacher.

"Yes sir…" Roxas mumbled unhappily. Saix, the teacher, pushed Roxas not too gently into a seat. That was the top of the desk.

"Quite frankly, I'm worried about your grades, Roxas." Saix was softly glaring at the boy. Damn that kid was fine.

"I have a C. I'm passing." Roxas' tone didn't disguise his know-it-all attitude towards his teacher. He always felt like Saix was a chump anyway.

"But I know you can do better. I want you to start staying after school for thirty minutes everyday for extra tutoring. Starting tomorrow. Got it?" No one could say no to Saix. They were too afraid he would eat them.

"Yes sir." Roxas got up and went out the door, not even bothering to say anymore. Saix got a nice view of his ass. It was nice and he would love to ravage it.


Axel tapped impatiently on his steering wheel. The kid was late. And Roxas had told him not to be late. And then he went off and was late himself! Geez! But as soon as he saw Roxas appear from the doors that led into the school, a black messenger bag slung across body, Axel's bitterness melted into a little puddle. What made Axel even happier was that Roxas was heading straight for his car, at record speed.

"Drive, dammit!" Roxas hissed. Axel popped into action, keys turning in the ignition and his foot on the gas pedal.

"Why are we in such a rush?" He inquired after they had started going.

Roxas looked behind them. No sign of creepy teacher. He slumped back into the seat. "I have after school tutorials for algebra everyday now."

"I don't see why we need to speed." Axel cocked his eyebrow a tiny bit.

"The teacher who's going to keep me after school checks me out everyday in class." Roxas added a little spice to his dislike. "He thinks I don't notice it but I do!"

Axel could only give his best regards to the teacher. He wanted to do exactly what Axel would like to do. "I'm sure it's not that bad. Maybe if you give him some time he'll learn he can't check you out any more." He patted Roxas' thigh lightly. Ah, if only he could go higher… "Now, I need directions to your house."

And that, my friends, was only the beginning.


A/N: Review for Mamotte? Just drop a spork in the review box and I'll be fine.