"People can die of mere imagination."
-- Geoffrey Chaucer
Sensei's Got a Date
Sensei frowned as he looked at the figure currently blocking the nice television set he had bought himself. It was a bit pricey but lucky for him he had found this odd fund hidden away in the schools accounting records. Something related to the ability to stop stuff and training that stoppable thing that the fund must be for. Not something important and he had managed to get a great television set instead.
Now looking up at the angry figure in front of him he started to regret this course of action. "Yori, can you please move?"
"No." Her firm voice made his hunch down further as he prepared for the verbal barrage that would come. Oh how he cursed God for making the fairer sex while at the same time giving tear felt thanks. It was an odd feeling.
True to form he could see Yori currently preparing herself. Glancing behind her he sighed knowing he was missing his favorite transformation sequence. "Sensei it is my honor to point out that you have been spending too much time indoors again."
Sensei looked back up at the much younger girl as he thoughtfully placed his hands in his robe's sleeves. People respected you when you did that after all. "Yori the oak does not seek to change its location because the spring comes nor does the cherry tree's bark taste like cherries."
"You're not an oak."
Sensei frowned at that trying to shake the hurt off from that comment. "The flower that does not bloom will forever stay a bud." That'll confuse her!
To her credit the young girl didn't even blink as she shook her head. "I've set up a series of dates for you in America. Now get up and go."
"They offered a discount."
"Oh..." Sensei glanced up at the girl trying to stare her down. After a firm glance in her eyes though he got up prepared to accept his fate. "Are the dates at least buxom twenty five year old models?"
"I'll have everything on the menu except for the salads. Got to keep my girlish figure after all." Sensei blinked in surprise as the rather large woman with an odd taste for stuffed animals, the earrings being the biggest clue since two rather large freaks of stuffed nature hung from her rather small ears compared with the rest of her, and her rather impressive appetite.
"So...seen any good shows lately?" Sensei was desperate to get the conversation away from food. He feared for his own safety after all.
"Oh aren't you just the cutest. You remind me of the Racbon I just recently acquired." Sensei shifted his chair back slightly as the excited woman leaned back clapping her hands in excitement.
"Ah yes the cutest little creature you've ever seen with its little paws and its long white beard. It's a must have for any hardcore Cuddlier." Sensei danger senses started to go off as he finally connected the dots. Yori had gone through this phase too when she was seven.
"So you're saying I look like the offspring of a raccoon that had relations with a monkey?" Shaking his head he placed his hands inside his shirt sleeves ready to draw upon his ninja grade weaponry.
He was shocked though when her face instead screwed up into a horror filled expression. "Monkey? Oh my darling sweet ums I can't believe I'm betraying you." Sensei let go of one of his many daggers, he had forgotten his harpoon at home, as the large woman stood up quickly. "I'm coming my darling cuddly muffin!"
As she stormed out of the restaurant Sensei sighed in relief. One giant mistake gone.
"And that's why the Hatchet system is the superior one." Sensei blinked tiredly as he stared at the remains of his steak. Why God hadn't killed him yet was a clear sign that he was either a evil cruel higher being or Sensei had forgotten to pay his parking tickets again.
"The tree that..." Frowning he looked back up at the harsh scene in front of him before looking back down. "I've lost my will to live."
"Come again?" His date's confused voice only served to further bring him into despair.
"Curse you Yori I regret teaching you how to read."
"Well that was a lovely meal." Glancing back up he could see his date leering at him now. "You want to come back to my place and help me organize the book shelves?"
"Dot the decimal system?"
"Update the index?"
"Defy the silence rule?"
"I like that rule."
"Cross reference your research material?"
"Put the book into the return slot?"
"Wait..." Sadly things went on like this for a while.
Sensei looked up as a blue man in a rather sparkly suit showed up at his table. Seeing the annoyed look on the man's face Sensei had a distinct feeling something was wrong. "I'll get Shego for this! Darn that sidekick and her inability to set me up on one descent date. Is it so much to ask to have one proper minion..." Sensei went back to his saltines as the blue man left still muttering under his breath.
Sensei shifted slightly as his red headed date took a sit across from him her green eyes eagerly scanning the place around her. Though a bit young she seemed to have a strange sense of confidence in a place like this. "Wow now this is a date. Wish Ron would take me to places like this."
"Hey I try KP!" Sensei glanced over to the girl's right at the blond haired stranger sat next to her.
"Right and that coupon date at Fred's Fish Bucket was just a fluke?" Sensei placed his hands in his robe happy for once with what was going on. He missed his T.V. dramas after all.
"Hey I didn't see you complaining when you were eating your fish sticks!"
"Well I hade a cute companion by my side."
"Frank? I mean KP your taste can be odd at times but even that goes beyond reason!"
"No sweetie I meant you. You're the cute date and still are." Sensei nodded his head as the red head leaned in giving her date a peck on the cheek. Now that was love!
The blond haired stranger just blushed at that rubbing the back of his neck. "Well I don't know about cute but I do know you're the prettiest girl I've ever meet."
"What do you like about me?" Sensei waved a waiter over ready to order his drink as he leaned in to listen in on more of this. He liked a good romance like everyone else and this looked to be a good one. Just wished he knew who that blond kid was.
"So Dr. D thinks he's getting back at me but little does he know this meal is on him as well as the shopping I did today." Sensei nodded his head as the crazy green woman who had just sat down at his table waved a credit card in front of him.
"The flower that turns towards the sun gets the most rays."
"Yeah whatever old man. Anyway did I tell you I'm Kimmie's arch-foe? I'm the only person who can challenge her in a fight and don't forget that!" Sensei shook his head as he placed his hands in his robe's sleeves once more. It was cold that night.
"I seem to recall her also fighting with this Monkey Fist fellow. Is he a friend of yours?"
He knew right away he had asked the wrong question as the woman leaned back a shocked look coming over her face. "Kimmie has been fighting other villains?"
"Hasn't she always?"
A soulful cry emerged from the woman before she dove into the basket of bread in front of them sending bread crumbs flying. Glancing up for a brief moment with one roll in her mouth, another in her hand, and a butter knife waving in the general direction of nowhere she looked directly into his eyes. "I'm a good villain foe right? You'd want me for an arch-foe right?"
Sensei glanced down at his plate before looking back up. "Not really." This only started the woman crying more.
"I see Junior failed to remember I only date woman." Sensei frowned at the prices in the menu as his current dinner partner continued to prattle on. "Nothing against you my good sir but I only date the fairer sex."
"Oh no offense taken my daughter set me up too. Said I need to get out more." Nodding he settled on buying the dinner salad.
"Ah I know the feeling my son is the same way. Wants me to get out for reasons other then a villainous plot. Sometimes I wander where I went wrong."
"Dropped him on his head too many times?"
"My good sir I fear that might be the case."
"The tree that grows up in the shadow of its parent is doomed to be stunted and stupid looking."
"So true." Sensei looked back at the bread basket wanting to take one of the rolls but knowing he'd be charged for it. He had to rent his own napkin after all.
"Well I think I'll have the lobster tail again should I get you one too. My treat." Sensei glanced away from the basket full of pricey bread staring into the man's eyes.
"Of course you are my dinner companion this evening and it would be rude if I did not offer to treat you."
Sensei sniffed at that as a tear rolled down his cheek. "You're a good man sir."
"I'd prefer being called evil but making another man cry comes close enough. Now where is that waiter?" For once Sensei's 'date' turned out alright. Though he really felt the punch when he had to pay the fork rental fee.
"And I've been serving those kids lunch ever since my dear husband died at the age of twenty three. He choked on the soup I cooked him one night." Sensei nodded his head as he stared at the gelatin mass in front of him. He didn't like the look it was giving him. "I'm so glad they let me cook for you too. Most restaurants won't let you but Frank has always had a soft spot for me."
Sensei sniffed slightly and backed away when his meal did the same. He swore he had meet a foe like this once before. 'The flower that blooms twice is bound to bloom again.'
"Come on now try it out. It won't bite." Sensei shook his head opening his mouth to prepare to answer. Sadly he never got a reply off before the meal launched itself at him. Turned out his date was a liar.
Yori smiled as she leaned back into the couch enjoying yet another episode of Ninja Hunks on Sensei's new big screen T.V. She had made the right choice setting up those series of random dates after all as it also paid him back for eating her muffin last week. No one took what was Yori's and got away with it.
"Now to deal with Possible and my honor shall be restored." Smiling Yori let out a small villainous laugh. Not a big one mind you since prideful laughter was a bad habit to get into. She didn't want to end up like that crazy blue guy the Ninja Hunks were currently beating on after all.
A/N: There you go my first story since I've got back. Sorry about that but nothing I can do about it. On the plus side now I've got two crutches and a cast to add to my list of things I have. Good stuff that!
Anyway if you liked the story leave a review. Simple as that. Till then!
Disclaimer: I don't own KP but maybe you do. If so please send the profits my way I have bills to pay.