DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, MASASHI KISHIMOTO-SAN DOES.
a/n: This story came to my head a few days ago. I tried my hardest to make it funny.
The Happenings of Rock Lee
Chapter 0ne-Challenging the Sun
The wind blew my beautiful black hair as I trained with my sensei, Gai Maito. We fought vigorously until the end of the day. We smiled at each other, doing the graceful Nice Guy Pose. Then we went to rest. We sat on a nearby rock, which was large with jagged edges, and watched the beautiful sunset.
"Gai-sensei?" I said to my wonderful teacher.
"Yes, Rock Lee?" he answered.
"You're the best teacher ever!" I cried, tears of joy streaming down my face.
"And you're the best student ever!" he replied, tears streaming down his face. He looked at me with a smile on his face. "Lee!" he cried. Then we both hugged youthfully as the sun set over the horizon.
"Okay, Lee, I'm afraid we must end this hug of youth, for it is time for you to go home," Gai-sensei said in despair.
"Yes," I agreed with a sob.
So Gai-sensei started to walk me home.
XxX xXx XxX
The sun's youthful rays smacked me in the face the next morning. I groaned and told those youthful rays, "Youthful rays of the sun, why do you bother me so?" When the sun didn't reply, I began to get irritated. I threw the covers off myself and stomped to the window. I glared at the sun (which was kind of hard because its rays of youth were blinding and damaging my gorgeous eyes and eyelashes, but I decided to do it anyways) and started to shout at it.
"Youthful rays of the sun, why do you deceive me by disturbing my beauty sleep?!" I questioned the sun. The sun's rays just continued to smack me in the face, ignoring my question completely.
Rage filled me from head to toe. "That's it!" I shouted. "I, Rock Lee, challenge you, sun, to a fight!!!"
The sun just stayed silent, moved by the beauty of my youthful words. "We shall meet at Neji's house at noon!" I declared. With that, I pulled the curtain over my window, and went back to sleep.
BIBIP! BIBIP! Only seconds later, my alarm clock that had a picture of Gai-sensei on it went off. I groaned and threw it out the window. I realized that I had to practice for my math today at noon with the sun! So I went downstairs and ate breakfast.
That's when I remembered that my alarm clock was very important and I had just thrown it out the window.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed in agony. I rushed outside and gasped when I saw my alarm clock. It was broken into little pieces that were scattered all over the place. I picked all the pieces and cradled them in my arms. I began to shed tears.
"You poor thing!" I wept. I gently placed on a patch of dirt and dashed into my house. I grabbed a shovel, a piece of gray clay, and a toothpick. Then I
hurried back outside. I pushed my shovel into the dirt and began to dig. I had dug for what seemed like decades (though it was really minutes) and then finally, I had hole that was six feet deep and 1 and a half feet in diameter. I picked up each piece of my breathtaking alarm clock with Gai-sensei's picture on it, and dropped them into the hole.
I filled the hole, replacing the dirt I had dug out from the Earth. Then I took my piece of clay and molded it into a shape that looked like half a circle. Using the toothpick, I carved some writing onto the clay. It read:
(Rest In Peace)
The Day Gai-Sensei Gave It to Me - The Day I Challenged the Sun to a Fight
This youthful clock died because it had been thrown out the window by someone stupid (not me).
I placed this piece of clay on the patch of dirt that my alarm clock now lay under. There. I had given my alarm clock a propel funeral. Good bye, alarm clock! Rest in peace, old friend!
Well, now that that's over, I had to get to Neji's house fast!! My scheduled duel with the sun who had mocked me would begin any minute now! It was almost noon. I looked up at the sky overhead. The sun was right above Neji's house! I was late for the battle that I scheduled! How ridiculous!
I skipped the skip of youth, then initiated running to Neji's house at top speed. I had to beat the sun!!!
In a matter of moments, I had reached Neji's house. I ignored the doorbell and the door and just crashed in through the wall. "I, Rock Lee, am here to challenge my worst enemy!" I shouted.
I saw Neji, TenTen, and Hinata sitting on the couch watching T.V. They looked shocked. "LEE?!" TenTen yelled out in shock. She was making a funny face. Hinata looked confused as well.
"Um, Lee-kun, why did you come in through the wall?" she asked with that soft, gentle voice of hers.
"Yea, Lee, you ever heard of a thing called a 'door'?" Neji asked, impatient with my behavior.
"I ignored it!" I answered defiantly.
Neji, TenTen, and Hinata stared at me as if I was the stupidest thing in the world (which, I must assure you, I'm not). Neji stood up and pointed an accusing finger at me. "You idiot! You interrupted our movie!" he shouted.
"But I am here to battle my greatest enemy!" I cried.
"So why isn't Gai-sensei here?" asked TenTen.
Just at that moment, the whole entire opposite wall to the wall I crashed in through broke down. Gai-sensei had come! Look at that beautiful bowl haircut! Look at those gorgeous bushy eyebrows! Look at that handsome gay green jumpsuit of youth! And that graceful pose! Don't forget that graceful pose! The Nice Guy Pose!!!
"Gai-sensei! You have come!" I hollered in happiness.
"Of course I have, Lee!" he answered. "So, who is this fierce opponent of yours?"
"Naruto?" asked Hinata.
"Gaara?" wondered TenTen.
"It's probably me," said Neji in his narcissist-y voice.
"NO!" I screamed. "IT IS THE SUN!!!!"
Neji, TenTen and Hinata fainted from being awed by my words!!! And Gai-sensei said, "What a formidable opponent! We shall battle it together!"
Neji woke up from his unconscious state. He bellowed, "YOU CAME TO MY HOUSE TO BATTLE THE SUN?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Neji stomped up to Gai-sensei and yelled, "AND YOU! YOU BROKE MY DAMN WALL! WE HAVE A THING CALLED A 'DOOR', YA KNOW! NOW GO FIX IT!"
Gai-sensei and I ignored that blind fool and went outside (through the wall of course. I mean, who uses doors anymore?!). We looked up at our adversary, and gave it the wink of youth! Then we jumped to the roof of Neji's house, ready for combat.
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