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Terminology to Never Use Near Sasuke and Naruto

Nautical terminology (boats)

"Where is it?" exclaimed a frustrated Ino. They had all gotten together for new years and now all sat around as Ino looked for her earring.

Suddenly Shikamaru spotted it and yelled, "On your starboard side."

About this time a very happy (drunk) Sasuke screamed, "Man the Helm!!!!!!", and jumped on Naruto's back to begin molesting him mercilessly.

Equestrian terminology (horses)

"We are going to ride horses for the mission."

"RIDE THE PONY!" Sasuke yelled and glomped Naruto.

French Terminology (language of love…)

Sasuke runs up to Naruto at the bridge thirty-five minutes late. Sakura and Kakashi(on time for once) were already there.

Naruto utters: "Le voyageur est pressé." (The traveler is in a hurry.)

"I love it when you talk dirty!", he said and touched Naruto… inappropriately.

Japanese Terminology (language of perverts)

The Rookie Nine were in Iruka's classroom learning traditional Japanese.

"Naruto can you read the next line."

"Hana no yume de, de no itsuma…" (Flower of my dreams, may I sleep with/)

"YES!!!" Sasuke screamed when he heard the beginning of the line.

(the whole line is, 'flower of my dreams, stirrer of my loins, one whom I love so much, may I sleep within your arms.')

He jumped over three desks, two fangirls, and one shocked teacher; grabbed Naruto swept off the teachers desk, and molested him on said desk… again.

Iruka was in counseling for three months and the fangirls passed out with nosebleeds resulting in a four month coma.

Ancient Greek Terminology

Iruka stood in the front of the classroom teaching stories of Ancient Greece.

"So you see the Spartan generals promoted homosexuality among the troops in order to deepen the bonds that they held."

Sasuke suddenly stood and yelled across the room, "Naruto will you deepen our bonds together." Then with a show bravado he touched Naruto… inappropriately… again.

Iruka just gave up and married Kakashi. (civil union)