Disclaimer: As I said before, this is a blend of overused plots with an ending that I haven't seen before so don't expect much. Murder is often illegal, check local laws before committing it.

In Cold Blood

Every story has a beginning a middle and an end, this is the beginning . . .

"What can Gringotts do for you Dame Longbottom?" The goblin asked.

"The Lestranges," Neville's grandmother said. "I want them dead."

"I see." The goblin leaned back. "Be that as it may, the board of directors has chosen to remain neutral for the time being."

"I know that," the old woman snapped. "My request doesn't violate your neutrality in the least."

"Really?" The goblin asked with a smile. "Do tell?"

"The treaty of 1066 allows Gringotts to hire out security professionals to their clients," Augusta said with no small amount of satisfaction. "The treaty of 1205 states that Gringotts will not be held responsible for any action made by a non goblin employee. And the agreement of Southampton states that all Gringotts employees are subject to wizarding law only if Gringotts waves immunity."

"I see."

"So long as the actions are taken by a non-goblin employee of the bank then neither side can take action without declaring war on the goblin nation," she finished with a smile. "I am quite prepaired to pay any expenses incurred by your employee on my behalf."

"I think we may be able to do business after all," the goblin mused. "Conditions?"

"It's customary to give the one who brings such a profitable idea a boon is it not?"

"It is," the goblin said cautiously.

"Then I don't want the other side to know about this," Augusta said quickly. "Or the neutrals. Riddle has his own killers, he doesn't need to hire any more."

"Deal," the goblin replied. "It is a pleasure as always."


"Shame you weren't born a goblin," the banker lamented.

"Shame you weren't born human," the old woman retorted.


"Wake up young Potter," a gravelly voice ordered. In a flash, Harry's wand appeared in his hand and he pointed it at the indistinct blob at the foot of his bed.

"Who are you?" The boy demanded.

"I'm with Gringotts," the blob replied. "We have some business with you."

"Could you give me a few details?" Harry sighed.

"Not at the moment," the blob said. "I'd rather not say too much until we've had a chance to get away from the monitoring charms."

"Monitoring charms?" Harry growled.

"They shouldn't be registering anything at the moment," the goblin explained. "But it's best not to take any chances."

"Let's go then," Harry said quickly.

"Are you sure?" The goblin asked. "I realise that you've had to accept a lot of risk in your life and I wouldn't want to add to it."

"Let's go," Harry said flatly.

"As you wish," the goblin agreed. "Please close your eyes." Harry closed his eyes and waited for something to happen. "You may open them."

"What happened?" Harry looked around, he appeared to be in some sort of stone hall.

"Wizards have their ways of moving from one place to another, and we have ours."

"What did you want to talk with me about?" Harry demanded.

"Two things," the goblin replied. "Your legacy and something else."

"What legacy?" Harry asked.

"The Potter fortune," the goblin explained. "It is coming to the point that you won't have the choice to delay taking charge of it any longer."

"What do you mean delay taking charge of it?"

"Your parents wished you to begin taking the reigns of the Potter fortune after your second year of studies," the goblin said. "But your guardian has said that you did not want the responsibility."

"Dumbledore?" Harry hissed.

"Yes," the goblin agreed.

"Damn him," Harry whispered. "I want it and I want him frozen out."

"Do you also wish us to represent you in the settling of the Black estate?" The goblin prompted.

"Yes," Harry said quickly.

"Then you shall have to declare yourself head of your family," the goblin said. "It's usually a three hour ceremony with a few hours of speeches and occasionally a marriage."

"Oh?" Harry said sickly.

"But magically the only thing important is making your mark on the family register," the goblin said to Harry's relief. "Just cut your thumb and make a bloody print on this paper and you will be an adult with all the accompanying rights and responsibility." Before the goblin had finished speaking, Harry had smeered a bloody thumbprint on the scroll.

"Well?" The boy asked.

"Well we have a business proposition for you," the goblin replied. "Would you like to make a few galleons doing something you would do anyway?"

"What," Harry asked suspiciously.

"We have a list of people," the goblin began. "Who's deaths we've been paid to arrange."

"And I'm on it," Harry asked. The boy's hand edged toward his concealed wand.

"And we thought you may wish to arrange a few of these deaths," the goblin corrected.

"Let me see the list," Harry demanded. The goblin slid a paper across the table. Harry spent a few seconds examining the names. "Done."

"Then sign here and here," the goblin said. "And it's a pleasure working with you."

"Likewise." Harry paused for a moment before signing. "Something just occurred to me."


"I'm a fairly good duelist," Harry said. "One of the best at my school, but I'm not good enough to deal with the people on this list."

"Two options present themselves," the goblin said with a smile. "The first is for you to spend the next few decades in study."

"What's the second?"

"We take the skills out of a few donors and put them into you," the goblin said simply. "The draw back is that the ministry considers this to be dark magic and if you were not in the employ of Gringotts then you would be facing thirty years in Azkaban."

"Wait, you said if I weren't in the employ of Gringotts?"

"Being an employee gives you immunity to most ministry laws," the goblin said with a shrug. "Well?"

"Does it hurt?"

"Why yes, I'm told it can sometimes be quite painful," the goblin replied. "Though I think it depends on how many skills you choose to take."

"Let's do it," Harry said firmly.

"We have several people standing by to give your their knowledge," the goblin said calmly. "Here is a list of available skills, just check the ones you want."

"All of them," Harry said without looking. "I want all of them."

"As you wish," the goblin agreed. "Drink this potion."

"What does it do?"

"It keeps you from damaging yourself," the goblin said. "As I said, this can be quite painful." Harry took several deep breaths and downed the potion with one gulp. "Bring in the first one," the goblin yelled. The first person to come in was an old man.

"I was one of Grindelwald's top men," the old man said. "You're going to take my skill at inflicting pain. I once kept a man alive for six months, keeping him on the edge of death until my Lord ordered me to end it." Harry's eyes widened in shock and he tried to force his paralyzed jaw to scream no, that he'd changed his mind. The last thing Harry remembered was the old man's smile as the world dissolved into pain. The goblins brought in a seemingly endless stream of people skilled in everything that Harry could possibly use to carryout his vendetta.

"And that's the end of that," the goblin said with a smile. "The potion should be wearing off soon."

"It is," Harry rasped.

"Good, you managed to keep your mind intact." The goblin said with satisfaction, "I had worried that you'd loose yourself in all of the extra things we put in your brain."

"You didn't tell me that," Harry accused.

"You didn't ask," the goblin said simply. "You're an adult now. As such you are responsible for your own welfare. You told me to give you everything and did not ask if there would be more risk involved, it is not my place to hold your hand."

"Fine," Harry said. "I want to take a nap for the next few hours, we can start after that."

"I'll have someone take you home," the goblin said to the sleeping Potter.

This is the middle . . .

Harry awoke in his bed and immediately noticed that he was not alone. "What do you want?"

"The Lestranges will be walking out of the Gringotts back entrance in a few minutes," the goblin said. "It is an isolated location and it was thought that you may wish to take advantage of the situation."

"Hand me my pants," Harry ordered.

"We also thought you may wish to get a new outfit," the goblin explained as he handed Harry a pair of armored breeches.

"Thanks," Harry put on the armor and took a deep breath. "Let's go."

"Close your eyes," the goblin said and waited for Harry to comply. "You may open them."

"Where are we?" Harry asked.

"In a small room overlooking the back exit," the goblin said. "They should be out in a few minutes."

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"The factor requested that we make it as slow as possible," the goblin replied. "But it was not a requirement."

"Slow huh?"

"The door is opening," the goblin said calmly. Harry waited until he had a clear shot at all three of them.

"Stupefy, stupefy, stupefy." Harry incanted.


"You said slow," Harry replied. "Let's get them disarmed and inside the bank."

"What did you have planned?"

"We make a great feast for the three of them," Harry began. "And we put them all into one of the vaults."


"And that's it," Harry said. "We leave them there."

"They've already been in a worse prison Mr. Potter," the goblin sneered.

"It's not a prison," Harry snapped. "What we're going to do is nothing, we won't feed them, we won't do anything but wait for them to die."

"That is something else entirely, might be a good idea to provide them enough water to prolong it a bit." the goblin mused. "I'll see to it, would you like me to take you anywhere?"

"Back to my room," Harry said. "And could you have a few things dropped off?"

"Make a shopping list and I shall have it taken care of," the goblin agreed. "Close your eyes."


"You called for me?" Augusta Longbottom asked sternly.

"We have something we thought you may wish to see," the goblin replied.

"They're dead then?" The woman asked eagerly.

"Not yet," the goblin replied. "You did request that we take our time, the three of them are locked in a room. The charms will keep them alive as long as possible so they get the longest amount of time."

"Slow starvation," the woman said in approval.

"Yes," the goblin agreed. "Unless they turn on each other."

"Record it," the old woman ordered. "And be sure to give your man a bonus."

"We will Dame Longbottom," the goblin agreed.



"You again?" Harry asked without opening his eyes.

"Another opportunity has presented itself," the goblin said. "We just happened to find Voldemort's secret hide out. Ten contracts on his head plus the ministry reward means large amounts of profit."

"Uh huh," Harry said flatly. "And how am I supposed to kill him this time? I seem to recall that it didn't work out the last time."

"Last time you didn't have a dagger that eats souls," the goblin pointed out.

"I've got one of those?" Harry asked in shock.

"Two . . . well, one of them is more of a short sword but you get the idea."

"Since when have I had those?" Harry demanded.

"Since you inherited the Lestrange family fortune," the goblin replied.

"How . . . why . . ."

"We offered to let Bellatrix die if she'd make you her heir," the goblin said with a shrug. "Less our ten percent of course."


"Seemed like a good idea at the time," the goblin continued. "Everyone gets what they want and you get a bonus."

"Fine," Harry said. "I'll do it."

"Your pants sir," the goblin said with a grin. "Though I must wonder if it's normal for humans to sleep in the nude?"

"How the hell should I know," Harry snapped. "Man my life sucks."

"You want me to take you to the dark lord's private bedroom?"

"You can do that?"


"How long have you been able to do that?"

"I have always been able to do that," the goblin said. "Human wards don't even slow goblins down."

"Why didn't we just do that in the first place then?" Harry demanded.

"Because I didn't know where it was before," the goblin replied. "Close . . ."

"Yeah yeah," Harry interrupted. "Close your eyes."

"And we're here," the goblin said. "You may want to stab him while he's still sleeping."

"You may want to hand me that dagger," Harry retorted.

"Yes of course," the goblin agreed. "Here you are."

"What are you doing in my chambers?" Voldemort demanded sleepily.

"Stabbing you to death," Harry replied honestly.

"Fools I am immort . . . urk."

"Stab stab stab, all day long, stab stab stab, while I sing this song." Harry chanted. "That was kinda fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed that," the goblin said.

"I did," Harry confirmed.

"Master?" Wormtail said as he came through the door. "Did you say something?"

"Peter," Harry said happily. "Just the man I wanted to see."

"Harry?" Peter managed to say just before the blade went through his eye socket.

"Anyone else here?"

"No," the goblin said. "Close your eyes."

"I'm getting sick and tired of this." Harry growled.

Over the next several weeks, Harry managed to track down and eliminate almost everyone on his list. There were only three names left when disaster struck.

"Harry," Dumbledore said sadly. "How could you?"

"It was easy," Harry replied. "Not sure how they all got that kind of reputation but it was exaggerated."

"I mean how could you kill all those people?" Dumbledore was close to loosing control.

"Spells, knives, etc." Harry replied.

"Don't you have any human feeling?" The old man demanded.

"What you're saying," Harry's voice went cold. "Is that you have a problem with the way I ended this war?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "They were people."

"What would you rather, for me to end things now or for me to lock them up so that everything can restart in ten years?" Harry tried to stay calm. "Two more weeks and I can kill enough of them to . . ."

"Listen to yourself," Dumbledore screamed. "Harry, you're talking about murder."

"It's not murder when you put down a mad dog," Harry said. "Getting paid to do your job is just a bonus. How did you think the war was going to end? Did you think we could just pretend everything was ok and ignore the pot till it boiled over again?

"I have to be going," Dumbledore said suddenly. "Goodbye Harry."


"Certainly an opinionated fellow isn't he?" The goblin asked.

"How long have you been here?" Harry demanded.

"Long enough," the goblin replied. "The "Ministry wants you kissed, the Minister himself wants to be the one to preside over the execution."

"Malfoy's money?"

"Never did get to him," the goblin agreed. "Dumbledore has been stalling things, said he had to come and talk with you before making a decision."

"Guess we know how he'll vote," Harry said sourly.

"Banishment," the goblin said. "That's the thing with the largest amount of support among those that matter. One man was heard to speculate that it may be useful to be able to bring you back if things got bad enough. Said so long as they could dangle the possibility of a pardon then you'd come running like a little lap dog."

"Guess I should start packing then," Harry sighed.

"Or you could take the third option."

"Which is?"

"There are two hundred security goblins ready to take the Ministry," the goblin said with a feral grin. "I doubt the wizarding world wants another war and I doubt they'll continue to push things after we remove their government. Even if they do, we've got a very good assassin on our side."

"No," Harry said simply. "I don't . . . I can't kill people that don't deserve it."

"Very well," the goblin agreed. "The offer remains open should you change your mind."


And this is the end . . .

Arizona United States of America, two years later.

Harry was relaxing in his home when the silence was broken by a knock on his door. Harry sighed and opened the door. "Ron?"

"Hey Harry," Ron said. "Long time huh?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Didn't think I'd ever see you again after the last time I saw you."

"I said a lot of things I didn't mean," Ron said with a blush. "I . . . I was just surprised to learn what you'd done."

"It was a war," Harry said with a shrug. "What can I do for you?"

"You hear about what Hermione's doing now?" Ron ignored Harry's question. "Teaching, she's the transfiguration Professor at Beauxbattons."

"Good for her," Harry cheered. "Why are you here?"

"Ginny is still single too," Ron said desperately. "She really wants to see you too."

"Don't think my girlfriend would like that," Harry said with a smile.


"Of almost a year," Harry agreed. "What did you need Ron?"

"What are you doing now?" Ron said quickly.

"I work at Gunsight," Harry said. "Teaching dueling and magical tactics."

"That's great Harry," Ron said with false enthusiasm. "What do you think about coming back to England."

"Thought I was banished?"

"They've agreed to lift it if you come back," Ron said quickly. "The Order sent me, we need you Harry."

"Why?" Harry asked mildly.

"Lucius Malfoy is making a play for power," Ron said. "We're afraid that if things continue then he might be our next minister."

"Naw, he's too smart for that." Harry said with a snort. "At best he'll just put another puppet on the seat, another Fudge."

"Well . . ." Ron stammered. "We're also having trouble with the goblins. They've raised account fees three hundred percent and intrest to thirty percent. It's killing the economy."

"That why Hermione moved to France?"

"She was also angry about what happened to you," Ron agreed. "But I'm sure she'd be willing to come back if you asked her."

"Already went to her then?"

"Dumbledore wanted her to come get you," Ron admitted with a frown. "She hexed him and threatened to turn the next Order member she saw into a toad."

"Good to know I still have one friend left," Harry said.

"That's not fair Harry."

"Tell you what I'll do," Harry said. "I'll talk with my boss and see if I can't get the Order a discount for one of the classes."

"You won't come back then?"


"So you won't help us at all?"

"I offered to help," Harry pointed out. "I'd also talk to a friend in immigration if you want a safe place to keep the noncombatants."

"Leave England?" Ron asked in shock.

"Or not," Harry agreed. "Was there anything else you needed?"

"Why?" Ron demanded. "Why won't you come home?"

"I've got a job, a girlfriend, and a life here." Harry said. "Why would I want to leave that?"

"Come back Harry." Ron tried one last time. "We forgive you."

"Well I don't forgive any of you," Harry said as he slammed the door.


AN: The entire story was a build up to the end, I haven't seen a Harry gets kicked out of the wizarding world and tells them no when they need him again. He always agrees to come back in the end, Naruto fics do this too. Just once I wanted to see the hero tell them to go to hell and get on with his life. Though Harry the Hitman could be a fun fic too.