AN: Oh my! Could it possibly be? An actual Twilight multi-chapter fiction by Sami? My Oneshot muse is on vacation for the day, but says she'll be back soon with more smut. Yesssss. More pointless porn will crowd my list of stories. Anyways, for now you have this. Yes, it is EdwardxBella as well as JacobxEdward, though I will say now that the latter is more prominent and if you don't like it, well, too bad. Just don't read. However, feel free to flame me and point out your stupidity. And get this straight, there is a reason why this is rated 'M'. Possible smut later? Possible? Psh. Definite. Also, this might get a bit dark at some points. Just a warning. In any case, I hope you enjoy even if it's a bit AU. By the way, it is set after New Moon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.





Edward was bored. Really bored. He was so bored that he was pretty sure that sleeping would become possible for him. After all, the teacher's droning voice was so unbearably dull, monotone, and boring that Edward didn't know if he'd be able to survive another second in this hell. It was so bad that he found himself trying to poke around in people's heads, sifting through the massive amount of pointless blabber that ran through the minds of all the bored human students that surrounded him.

Well, not all the thoughts were boring. After only ten minutes he'd become an expert on the theory of make-up application -- like he'd ever use that skill -- and which type of feminine products were the most effective -- yet another piece of useless information. Well, unless Bella suddenly decided to have him play delivery boy and pick up these female products. Of course he'd do it for her.

Bella was Bella and he couldn't refuse her. It was rather terrifying how easily she'd gotten him wrapped around her finger, but Edward honestly didn't mind it. He was still his own person, had free will. After all, hadn't he been the one who'd kicked Jacob Black in the shin after the boy had called him a 'lapdog'? Yes, he had been, given the werewolf quite a nasty bruise indeed. Of course Bella had reprimanded him later, but even while she lectured him about 'being nice and civil' he'd glowed with pride.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore and began to flick the little dust particles that continued to collect on his desk away with his index finger and thumb. God. So bored. Not even the girls in the back, the Gossip Queens, had anything of minor interest to say. Actually they were silent for once, listening to the boring lecture on how Napoleon quickly climbed to power and then got screwed over by his own arrogance. Frankly, Edward didn't care about a little tyrant who seemed to have an awful habit of fondling himself in his portraits. What else could the hand inside his shirt be doing?

Suddenly his science teacher's voice rang through his head as he flicked away yet another piece of dust, reminding him that what he was flicking away was most likely the skin that one of these humans had shed. He quickly retracted his arm, glaring down at the little pieces of detached skin with his golden eyes. Then in one swift movement he swept his arm across the table's surface and cleaned it. Deeming it suitable for his purposes, he folded his arms over it and laid his head down, letting out a soft sigh. Maybe today would be the day a vampire actually became bored out of his skull enough to sleep. A wishful thought.

However, Edward had gotten surprisingly close to dozing off that it concerned him. Well, actually, it would've concerned him if he wasn't so damn tired. He was too drowsy to really notice that anything was out of the norm. Hell, he was so tired that he barely noticed the loud crack that resounded through the room as a meter-stick collided with the tabletop, mere inches from Edward's ear.

All heads in the classroom turned to see what had caused this sudden noise. In a matter of seconds everyone was at attention. Well, almost everyone. Edward remained still, unperturbed by the loud crack. After a few moments he shifted in his seat in order to get to a more comfortable position. He didn't lift his head until he heard the sound of a throat being cleared.

In an unusually sluggish fashion, he lifted his head up, peering at his history teacher, Mr. Brown, with a sort of dazed expression and half-lidded eyes. He let out a soft yawn and stretched a bit before slowly sitting up straight. The room was dead silent except for the occasional creak of bottoms shifting in the old school-brand chairs – which were mighty uncomfortable in Edward's opinion.

"Mr. Cullen," Mr. Brown began in a voice that Edward could only compare to a foghorn, clearly not a happy camper – and one didn't need Jasper's powers to figure that out. "I do not appreciate you dozing off in my class." He then waited for a response, but Edward just stared at him blankly. "Have you nothing to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry for so inconsiderately and disrespectfully dozing off in your class," Edward replied with faked sincerity, resisting the urge to just give the man the finger and return to his own affairs. Well, Mr. Brown must've gotten the drift that Edward hadn't meant any of the words that had just popped out of his mouth as the teacher's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Of course, it didn't take long for Mr. Brown to lapse into a lecture describing each and every one of the malefactors that sleeping during class could bring about. From the back of the room he heard someone – who he'd find very soon – think rather loudly that Edward Cullen was on his 'cycle'. Well, he certainly knew enough about tampons to have a period – not that he wanted one. Bleeding for a week straight from his unmentionables? Nuh-uh. No thank you.

Then the bell rang and Edward was about to praise God or whatever heavenly being had saved him from the grips of Satan AKA his history teacher. However, he found that he had to quickly retract his thanks when Satan's claws wrapped around him in the form of detention. Wonderful. This awful day of his just got better and better.

Yes, Edward was feeling quite irritable this fine Monday morning. Emmett certainly hadn't helped boost Edward's mood when he'd asked when the other had last 'gotten some'. In short, Edward had come very close to punching the vampire in the face, but had settled for storming off in an even worse mood. He'd avoided Bella in the halls and during classes, acting very much like the first day they'd met. After all, the last thing he wanted to do was take his irritation out on her.

But now it was lunch, the perfect time for Edward to get rid of this cloud of crackling unpleasantness that seemed to have taken a liking to him today. Picking up his books, he joined the crowds of students in the hallways, pushing through the sea of bodies.

At his locker he made quick work of shoving his books haphazardly into the small cramped space – he didn't much care for neatness at the moment – and set off to find Bella. It was rather easy to spot her, sitting in the comfortable shade of a tall oak tree in the outdoor picnic area. Pride swelled within the vampire's chest when he saw her take a bite out of the sandwich he'd so lovingly prepared for her that morning.

Ever since Edward spotted a beetle in Mike Newton's cafeteria brand salad – which he'd conveniently forgotten to mention – the vampire had insisted on making Bella lunch. Plus he got a nice feeling within him when he saw her eat whatever he'd prepared.

"Hello, Bella," he said with a grin as he plopped down beside her, much more animated than before. She turned towards him and waved, quickly swallowed the rather large bite of sandwich she had in her mouth – it actually made her look a bit like a hamster.

"Hey, Edward," she replied once she'd cleared her mouth of food. Her tongue ran along the corner of her lip, picking up a little bit of mayonnaise that had managed to make its roost there. "So, I take it that you're in a better mood now." Edward nodded. "That's good. I was starting to worry that you'd turn into me when I'm on my period." She let out a laugh and Edward blanched, looking rather sickly.

"Bella, please, restrain yourself," he said, suddenly feeling a bit sick in his stomach. Now, Edward usually didn't feel this way when feminine issues were discussed – though he preferred to avoid the topic – so he found it odd when his stomach churned uncomfortably.

Bella giggled. "Oh, Edward." She then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, earning a warm smile from him in return.

Taking another large bite, she chewed thoughtfully, feeling particularly ravenous today. However, she was not pleased to discover that with her mouth full she was unable to talk to Edward – or more importantly, listen to him. So she needed to ask a question to which he could take a bit of time to answer.

"So," she began, "How was history?" Edward sighed.

"It was incredibly dull. You would've thought that the wars would be exciting to learn about, but Mr. Brown makes everything about the subject completely and utterly boring. It's enough to put even a vampire to sleep." He ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at the sky. A bird darted across the expanse of blue. Yes, for once the sky wasn't cloudy.

"Edward!" Bella said snapping her fingers in front of her boyfriend's face, pulling his head successfully out of the clouds and back onto his shoulders. He blinked.

"What?" he asked.

"You just zoned out on me," she replied, her brow furrowing. "Are you feeling alright?" Edward let out a small laugh.

"I'm fine. Just feeling a bit more human than usual, that's all." He seemed to become a little more dazed at the end as he finished with a small sigh. Bella just chuckled softly to herself and turned away from the day-dreaming vampire, going back to work on her lunch.

Everything went smoothly for the most part. Bella ate and asked Edward occasional questions, to which he responded to before looking back at the sky. In all his years of life he'd never really noticed how blue it was, but then again, most of his life had been spent in Forks or in Alaska. However, the peace was soon disrupted.

The bronze-haired vampire frowned when he felt something wet trickle down over his upper lip. Well, that certainly was odd. It got even odder when he smelt the strong iron tang of blood. However, it wasn't the pleasant scent that humans carried. It was stronger, more acrid, and much less appealing. He wrinkled his nose and rubbed at it, trying to push that unpleasant smell away.

He then pulled his hand away and was met with quite a surprise. Gold eyes widened as they stared down at the liquid crimson that covered his hand. He wiped his other hand across his face, smearing more red upon his pale flesh.

"Bella?" he asked, voice soft with a slight hint of panic. "Could I have a napkin?" Bella, who was blissfully unaware of the torrent of blood that was streaming from Edward's nose, merely nodded, still chewing on her food as she held out a napkin. However, when she saw his bloodied hand, her own eyes widened.

"Edward?" she asked hesitantly as the vampire pressed the white napkin to his face, staining it blood red in a matter of seconds. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied, "It's already stopping." However, that was a lie as the blood continued to flow, coating Edward's hands and face in it. Soon he'd used up most of the napkins he'd packed for Bella.

"No, Edward," Bella said, her voice rising in panic as she stood up. "We're taking you to the hospital." She tugged at his arm, but the obstinate vampire didn't follow. Instead he remained seated, still holding the now red napkin to his face.

"I'm fine!" he protested. "It's just a nosebleed. I got them all the time when I was a kid." However, although he seemed relatively calm on the outside, Edward was genuinely worried. He'd never heard of a vampire getting a nosebleed.

Then time seemed to slow down. He saw Bella's lips moving, most likely telling him to get off his ass, but the sounds didn't register. All he heard was a bunch of jumbled garble. He stared at her, squinting slightly as he tried to figure out what she was saying. That's when his vision began to swim. The world spun and his stomach lurched. He doubled over, trembling uncontrollably, a pitiful groan escaping him.

Bile climbed up his throat, burning it as it went up and then back down. He scrunched his eyes shut. However, when he opened them once more he saw dark tendrils creeping in. His hands fell from his face as his lips moved as if trying to formulate words. He never got them out as he collapsed into the grass unconscious and bloody.

That's when Bella screamed.


AN: Now, I'm sure you're all wondering 'What the hell?', but all will be explained in due time. So just sit back, relax, and perhaps leave a review?

-rattles tin can-