-1In My Time of Dying Missing Scenes
The doctor has just exited Dean's room leaving Sam for the first time alone with his brother's comatose form. Sam runs a shaky hand through his hair staring blankly at Dean's body so many tubes and machines protruding from him that the image seems impossible and unreal with a deep exhale he pulls up a near by rolling chair and places himself down in it drawing his lip into his mouth and trying to think of what to say, so many things running through his mind but none of them seeming fitting for the moment. He is visibly confused, and conflicted.
The slow steady beep of his brother's heart monitor, accompanied by the low hiss of the ventilator were Sam's only indication that the man in front of him, so broken and battered was technically still alive. He closed his eyes for a minute and rubbed the bridge of his nose, Dean's face so vibrant so real… so alive was carved deeply into his eye lids.
"Hey…" He whispers finally unable to stand the noises surrounding him any longer and attempting to drowned them out with his own voice. He opens his eyes slowly and silently prays that he is not where he knows he is… He hopes that this is all some sort of bad dream and opening his eyes was going to wake him from it, but it didn't he was still there, still in the cold stale hospital room, still sitting next to his brother's motionless body, and still wondering if he was ever going to have his brother with him again.
"I-I um, I hope that you don't listen to what that guy said…. I know you better then he does, and I know your not going to let something like this take you out, you're stronger than that Dean… and I uh, I need you to prove that to them, I need you to wake up." It was a desperate plea from a desperate man, and it was all that Sam had to offer.
Although he is unseen to Sam's eyes Dean is there watching over his brother from the opposite side of the bed, and the scene playing out before him is bringing both anger and sadness to his heart. He stares at his brother listening to the helpless tone in his voice and he wishes he could answer, he wishes he could comfort him just as he always had. He looks down at the bed, at himself laying there so…. Dead and then back to Sam again.
"I'm trying Sammy…" He whispers his voice on the verge of sadness, "Don't you give up on me! I'm going to fight this and I'm going to be fine…."
He hates feeling so helpless, so useless, and I shows as he closes his eyes and attempts to wish himself back into his own body, tries to force himself back there. A frown quickly coming to his lips when he opens his eyes again and finds that he is still standing in the same spot still looking across at his brother and outside of his own flesh.
Sam's hand shakes as he lifts it from where it had been placed on his knee and he brings it to the bed railing in front of him. He wants to touch his brother he wants to lay a comforting hand on his arm, but for the first time in his life Sam knows what real fear is. This isn't some demon he can fight, this isn't some evil he can kill. This is… Something far scarier then that.
Sam looks down at his brother's hand resting on top of the thin hospital blanket and finds himself studying it, he had seen those hands do so much, work so hard… and now they were motionless, it just seemed so… wrong. He then looks back to his own hand and flexes his fingers lightly around the railing, a simple motion, so how could he do it and Dean couldn't, how come he was alive, well… And Dean was fighting for his life? So much didn't make sense at this point that Sam felt on the verge of insanity.
He thought about reaching his hand out again, but if he did that, if he felt Dean's flesh so still against his palm, if he touched him, then this would be real, and there was no way he could convince himself otherwise as he had been trying so hard to do.
"I-I uh, I'm sorry about the car… Bobby is going to take care of it and when you get better were going to fix it together, you and me… She's going to be just fine." That was the first time Sam had ever referred to his brother's beloved Impala as Dean always had, as a person and not just another inanimate object. This caused a smirk to come to his lips and he chuckles. "I guess you're rubbing off on me." He mumbles and for a minute it's as though he is having a real conversation and he is not as alone as he feels.
From where he stands Dean can see the hesitation written all over Sam's face as he watches him brings his hand up and rest it on the bed rail. The older brother curses inwardly at the fear he has created in his brother's eyes and slowly makes his way to stand beside him, even if Sam couldn't see him it seemed like the right place to be.
"You think I'm going to let you work on my baby? You are sadly mistaken brother." He whispers in retort to Sam's message about the Impala, and when he catches the 'she' term and the small chuckle it irrupts from his brother's lips he allows himself in turn to smile as well.
But as quickly as the smile comes it fades and Dean Winchester realizes that there is still so much left to be said to the man next to him, so many things he wants to tell him, so much he needs to tell him. And now he may never get the chance.
"I'm sorry…" He whispers even though he knows he cannot be heard, "I'm sorry for all of this man, for dragging you back into this thing, for forcing you to be something you didn't want to be… and for not being the brother that maybe I should have been." He exhales loudly and growls in his throat, "I just wish you could hear me right now Sammy, I just wish you could help me…"
Sam realizes that once again the only sound surrounding him were the life saving machines attached to his brother and he nervously chews at his bottom lip, he is once more staring at the hand less then an inch from his own, he doesn't want to touch it, but something inside of him was screaming at him to… There are tears in his eyes welling just below the surface and he knew that if Dean were around he would be laughing at such a chick moment, but he wasn't…
Sam's fingers shook as he reached his hand out and swallowed the lump in his throat trying to force himself to keep breathing, the world around him stood still as he lowered his hand down on top of his brothers. Dean's flesh wasn't cold, wasn't stiff, it was warm and almost welcoming the complete opposite of what Sam had feared as he closed his fingers around it.
The reality he found in this simple grasp wasn't that his brother was lifeless or dying… But that he was still alive and there was still a chance… He lowers his head and begins to pray, for a sign for anything, for his brother.
Dean eyed his brother carefully as Sam raised his hand from the bed rail and slowly moved it forward, what happened next in Dean's eyes was impossible to explain.
The minute his brother rested his hand on top of his own a tingle began to form in Dean's flesh, a welcomed shock as he brought it up to eye level to look at it and a smile spread across his lips. Within seconds the small tingle had grown and his whole hand was warm and comforted in an odd way…
"I can feel it…" He whispers in the direction of his brother and relishes in the sensation… "I'm here Sammy, I'm here…."
Only then does Dean realize and hope that maybe if he can feel Sam, Sam can feel him, feel comforted and know that he is there. "Here's hoping…" He reaches over and places a strong heavy hand on his brother's jacket clad shoulder closing his eyes.
After a few minutes Sam's eyes opened again and he lifted his head from where it rested on his chest looking around.
"Dean…" He calls out into the empty room and swallows hard, there is a warm and welcoming feeling radiating through his body, through his soul and it was stemming from his shoulder, but it wasn't just any feeling, just any comfort, it was strong, it was heavy… it was Dean.
Dean smiles to himself squeezing the shoulder beneath his grasp, "Don't you dare give up on me Sammy…"
"I'm not gonna give up on you man, I'll help you… I'll find a way" Sam whispers as if to answer and slowly rises to his feet.
That's it. I just always thought there should have been a little touching interacting between the brothers, because if you watch it you'll notice they never touch him!!!!! Anyway I hope this was alright this is the first time I've tried something like this so please be honest and give me your opinions!