A/N: Just a cute pre-JPLE one-shot. Lily compares crushes to whether you are right or left handed.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Who you have a crush on is rather like whether you are right or left handed. It is something that you have no control over. Sure, you could try to change that, but it usually ends up in a mess—whether it is in your mind or on your parchment.
This was what Lily Evans was musing as she sat in her favorite corner in the common room, her eyes tucked underneath her as she pretended to read her book. She made sure to flip the page every two minutes or so. She was Lily Evans, and Lily Evans did not sit in the common room to compare crushes to handwriting. So, Lily Evans had to keep up with appearances as she thought.
Lily was left-handed. She had always hated it. Everything was built for right-handers, while poor lefties were left to suffer. Through her first six years of schooling, Lily had come home with numerous cuts and scratches on her left hand and wrist from writing in her spiral notebook. The spiral always seemed to get in the way of her hand, managing to distract her from her writing. She had been happy to leave those notebooks behind in favor of parchment when going to Hogwarts.
James was a bit like a spiral notebook, Lily decided. Annoying and painful—yet unavoidable. Lily could remember a year where her teacher had found some way to get the students to write in their spiral notebooks every single day. It was for building character through writing, her teacher had explained. Secretly, Lily had always believed that it was in spite of her because she had corrected her teacher quite a few times in front of the whole class at the beginning of the year.
James had the same annoying determination as her teacher. Just as the spiral of that notebook was always guaranteed to get in her way, so was James Potter. Every single day, without a doubt, rain or shine, he was there to drive her mad.
"My darling Lily-Flower!"
And there he was.
"How are you doing this fine morning?" James asked with a flourish as he perched on the arm of her chair, smiling roguishly.
"This fine morning just took a downfall," Lily grumbled, rolling her eyes. Without looking up from the book she was allegedly reading, she shoved James to the floor.
"Someone hasn't had their morning coffee!" James said, unfazed. "That's fine. I won't hold that against you, m'darling."
Lily decided it wouldn't be best to mention that she had already had three cups of coffee that morning—black. Her coffee addiction would undoubtedly become a fuel to James's latest Get Lily Quick schemes, and she didn't fancy waking up to a room full of coffee. Sadly, she knew that it was possible. James tended to take things to extremes. She had realized this when she had once mentioned that she thought ducklings were cute, and had been followed around by a parade of ducklings charmed to recite Shakespeare the next day.
"Leave me alone, Potter," Lily said with a yawn. "I'm not in the mood."
"You looked deep in thought when I came," James noted.
"People tend to think when they read," Lily explained, rolling her eyes. "It's okay, though. I know since you don't have much experience with reading it may be difficult for you to wrap your mind around the concept."
James shrugged off Lily's insult. Lily almost suspected that his twisted mind managed to convert insults into flattery to feed his ego. Well, it would explain why his head was so big.
"I didn't know that you could read upside down," James replied innocently. Lily looked down at the book in her lap, which was indeed upside down.
"Merlin," she muttered, flipping the book so it was in the correct direction.
"Indeed," James said flippantly.
Lily raised an eyebrow. She hadn't known that the word "indeed" was even in James Potter's vocabulary.
"You're surprised," James observed. "I bet that you didn't know that James Henry Potter is a fountain of knowledge."
"It's almost impossible to tell," she grumbled.
"That's okay, Lily-Flower." He patted her hand gently. "Some of us just can't see into people's inner beings, their souls. I, luckily, can."
Lily groaned quietly. She knew that James taking Divination hadn't been one of the smartest things that Hogwarts had allowed. James was quite hopeless at the subject, yet thought that everything he said was correct. Since the Divination professor, Madame Speneer, adored James, this fact was not disputed often during class.
"That's nice," she said sarcastically, looking down at her right side up book. "Goodbye, Potter."
"Don't you want to engage in some stimulating and intelligent conversations, m'dear? I had Remus write down a list of prompts for me to use so I wouldn't sound like an 'insufferable, dim-witted idiot that spewed the first thing that came to his mind without thinking twice, therefore getting himself in trouble'." James looked up from Remus's prompts and assured Lily, "His words, not mine."
"Fantastic," she said sarcastically. "Now why don't you go entertain Lucy Straussen? I'm sure that she would enjoy your list."
"But Lucy is dumb," James said unwittingly. "She can't even spell dumb, actually. She spelled it 'd-u-m'." He looked confused. "Why would I waste my incredibly intelligent Moony-prompts on her?"
"So you would get away from me?" Lily suggested.
"Nice try, Flower, but I'm onto you." He touched the tip of her nose with his pointer finger. "You enjoy my satirical wit, dashing good looks, and winning personality."
"Zero out of three, Potter." She faked an apologetic look. "Too bad; you lose. Goodbye."
"It's okay, Evans," James promised. "When you come around, I'll be there waiting with chocolates and my list."
"Make sure that the chocolates don't have an expiration date. I have a feeling you'll be doing a lot of waiting."
James smiled, ignoring her remark. He leaned in and quickly kissed her cheek before pulling away, his grin widening.
"Goodbye, my flower!" he called out cheerfully as he trotted out over to the stairwell. Lily felt a flush rising in her face. Her left hand subconsciously rose to touch her cheek.
Lily felt eyes on her, and immediately looked up. Every occupant in the common room was staring at her, wondering what was wrong. Lily Evans wouldn't have let James go after he kissed her. She would have hexed him, or insulted him, or physically harmed him. The younger students looked like they thought that the world was going to end any minute, and the older students were just staring, slack jawed.
"Get back to work!" Lily barked, feeling self-conscious. She quickly moved her hand down into her lap when she realized that it was still touching her cheek. Still, no one looked away. "How many of you want to spend this Hogsmeade weekend with Madame Pomfrey?"
All of the students third year and up instantly turned back to their studies, not wanting to miss out on the weekend because of an "accidental" hex thrown by Head Girl Lily Evans. The first and second years looked away out of pure fear of the angry redhead.
Lily sighed as she looked down at her book once again. Her left hand was lying over the pages, blocking most of the text. She felt it trying to rise up again to touch the spot that was still tingling on her cheek. She inwardly swore.
If crushes were like whether you were right or left handed, Lily decided finally, she would like very much to be ambidextrous.