Loving Potter

"How easily he forgives,

That judge who has been a criminal."

Calderón de la Barca; Life is a Dream.

He was going to hell.

That much James Potter knew for sure as he paced around the red and gold main study of Potter Manor, Wiltshire.

He felt like punishing himself; maybe he could summon an elf and ask for tips.

His deep hazel eyes wandered from the stone wall besides the chimney, to his eighteenth century rosewood desk.

He promptly resumed his pacing; slamming his head against something wouldn't help. It was too cliché for his liking, anyways.

James bit on his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. He sighed and finally plopped himself on a red loveseat, cradling his head with both hands.

He was going to hell.

Isolde, his snowy owl, ululated from its perch by the window, and he knew she was agreeing with him. Wise pale grey eyes regarded him intently as the strong winds coaxed whispers from the autumnal leaves.

It was a rather lovely night, really. Moonless, but the bright stars hanged delicately from the celestial draperies like little fairy-lights.

The eldest Potter still felt like loosing his lunch all over his expensive Persian carpet, though.

"JAMES!" A sharp yell brought him off his pity-party.

"JAMES, I'M GOING OUT WITH A FRIEND!" Lily Potter bellowed from the first floor and slammed the front door without waiting for a reply.

James didn't bother himself wondering who a friend was.

He already knew his wife would be meeting his fellow Marauder and best friend Remus Lupin.

He also knew she would be meeting him in his house.

In addition to this, he was perfectly aware that there wouldn't be much going out happening.

He sighed, took his glasses off and rubbed his temples.

Seventeen-year-old James Potter would be probably be screaming insanely at Lily and beating the crap out of the werewolf; this James Potter, however, couldn't even find it in himself to be angry at them.

Honestly, he was just waiting for Lily to gather up the courage to inform him about the affair to divorce her and give them his blessing.

Plus, it wasn't as if it came from nowhere. At Hogwarts, Remus had liked Lily for longer than him; since third year, he thought. And he was quite certain Lily had had a small crush on the 'sensible Marauder' too. They had always gotten along, did homework together and discussed books. The redhead had only come to stand him in seventh year.

But why wasn't James Potter throwing a fit?

Lily and him had been very happy for the first two years of their marriage; they had wedded straight out of Hogwarts and in the midst of a war, so there hadn't been much time to fight. Then, just a year after, Lily had gotten pregnant and they had been so excited!

However, since their deaths – or well, their resurrections, really – the Potters' marriage had been less than blissful. At first they fought a lot; neither felt things worked anymore and they were both angry their expectations on the other were left unfulfilled.

Luckily, due to the vast gardens of their manor and the manors around it, their screaming matches were not heard by their neighbors. They continued to pose as the ideal, perfect, happy family.

Their close friends knew better though.

The only times when their relationship was like it used to be was when Harry came home, first from Hogwarts and now from Auror training. Their son was so delighted to have his parents back, and the Potters were so delighted to be back for their son, that all their marital woes were forgotten.

Nowadays, though, Harry never stayed for more than a couple of weeks every summer and a few random weekends along the year. Auror Academy was pretty demanding.

The situation got worse and worse as the months passed, until suddenly, the fights stopped.

It wasn't that they solved their issues; it's just that they stopped fighting.

Lily simply started to ignore him.

Nevertheless, she looked almost happy.


And a little guilty.

It was then that James figured out that his wife was having an affair.

Then Remus started to look very happy.


And very guilty.

It was then that James figured out that his wife was having an affair with Remus.

At first, James had felt quite betrayed.


And a little sad.

But he had sighed and tolerated it.

Then it had happened.

Then he had realized he was going to hell.

And he had stopped feeling betrayed, angry and sad.

For people going to hell do not get the luxury of condemning people for their lesser sins.



A/N : The chapters will eventually get longer, don't worry about that.

Reviews are welcomed and encouraged.