Yuki had prepared for this.
After school, he had stopped in a store and ought a special stationary with amusing cartoons of rate around the border because it was ironic.
He had even deliberated over buying a special calligraphy pen, because he knew that thinking about it for ten minutes would mean ten minutes longer before this was read.
Yes. He had prepared.
And, for even longer, he had sat at his desk and wondered about what to write. The cute rat-patterned paper mocked him with its blankness.
How does one explain the World in one reasonably short letter?
Yuki slid the paper away and took out his notebook to try for a rough draft.
Dear (he hesitated, and settled on) Tohru,
I want to tell you many things in this letter. You've been very patient with me (he frowned) for too long. I should have explained everything from the beginning; we could have been closer. I was (he stopped, crossed it out, and replaced it with) am a coward.
I have trusted people and that trust has been abused. (Yuki didn't know a better way to say it.)
My mother (he didn't remember; had she met his mother?) is a very beautiful, very self-serving woman, and she gave me to Akito when I was too young.
Akito-san (he realized what he had written and nearly tore a hole in the page crossing it out) Akito (but that was bad, too). (Yuki refused to deal with it and moved on.)
I looked for friends. They forgot me the moment they knew about (he forced himself) the Rat. That's how it felt to me, at that age.
Perhaps that was Hatori, though. He always erased a person's memories, so that I had never existed for them. He made it so that I was nothing. He followed Akito's order no matter (but Yuki crossed out the last sentence; everything came back to Akito!).
I wanted to say something meaningful. (Yuki didn't know if he wanted to leave that, but it stayed.)
I suppose I want to say thank you. (He crossed out the sentence.) Thank you for not betraying me (ridiculous – he removed the last three words) allowing me to trust you.
(Yuki waited. He would tell Tohru about Akito – about everything that had happened. He waited a very long time.)
(The letter ended with…) Love, Yuki.
Yuki copied it over. It was good.
Akito never made it into the final draft.
…It was good enough. For now.