Title: Household Possessions

Author: Darkestar

Pairings: Nothing really noticeable

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I do not own them (the characters, environment, concept) but I do own the plot and the ideas herein and any original characters I may add.

Summary: Heero thinks his toilet is possessed.

Note: Not sure if this will be continued or not, or what I might do with it, but I thought it was vaguely amusing.


"The toilet in my room is possessed."

"The toilet in your room is possessed," Duo repeated under his breath.

"Yes."

The mug he was holding under the faucet overflowed, sending hot water over his hand and down his wrist. With a muttered curse he twisted the hot water off and emptied the cup in the sink, shook it out and put it upside down in the rack.

"Possessed?"

"Yes. I was standing at the sink, washing my hands, and it was making noises."

"So you'd just used it. They generally make noises if you use it properly."

"I had not just used it."

Duo turned from wiping the counter down. Heero was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed loosely over his chest. "Then why were you washing your hands?"

"Does it matter? It doesn't change the fact the toilet's possessed."

"I highly doubt the toilet is possessed."

"Normal toilets do not start to whine for no reason."

Duo sighed. "Told you we should have gotten a dog."

"Back to the point please."

"Why were you washing your hands?"

Heero sighed. "I'd sneezed."

"Thus you were washing your hands."

"Yes."

"I don't get it."

"It was a rather unexpected sneeze."

"I am so not following your train of thought."

"It doesn't really matter why I was washing my hands. The point is it's possessed."

"Go exorcise it then."

"It is not in my job description to handle demonic toilets," Heero informed him

"And it's in mine?" Duo called after him.

"Being the one with the basic religious background, yes."


Duo glared at the toilet. He wasn't exactly surprised when the toilet did nothing back. Experimentally he turned the water on; nothing. He settled on the edge of the tub and put together a shopping list in his mind to pass the time before he went out and told Heero to exorcise his own damn toilet.

The toilet began to whine.

"Damn it Heero. You were Gundam pilot, I think you'd be able to tell when it's running," he grumbled. "You can buy a damn kit at the store to fix that."

He went off to tell Heero as much. After all, he wasn't going to do Heero's domestic repairs.


Heero studied the newly fixed toilet as he washed his hands. It really had needed the replacement – certainly explained why the water bill had been higher that past month – but that didn't change much of anything.

"Duo's an idiot." He glared at the toilet. "And you're evil."

"Thank you."

"Shut up."

Next stop: library.