A/N: Final chapter! Sorry it took so long, but I had a huge writer's block and three other stories in progress, so...but here it is!
"Okay everyone, now that we've all filled out our forms, we can go over our answers and learn new stuff about each other!" Fiyero called once the papers had been passed back to him.
There was much eye-rolling at this enthusiastic proposition. Boq, however, was leaning forward eagerly, practically quivering with excitement.
"First, we'll go over our best friends." Fiyero glanced down at the top sheet. "Elphaba – your best friend is Glinda."
"And Glinda, yours is Elphaba. Is there anything you two have to say about this?"
Elphaba raised her eyebrows, and she and her apparent best friend exchanged a look. "Um...because I knew her, I have been changed for good?" she suggested.
Boq burst into applause. "That was beautiful!" he sobbed. This time, even Fiyero arched an eyebrow.
"Uh…right…" he said. He shuffled through the pile again. "Oddly enough, you two are the only ones with a best friend. Well, that didn't take long, did it? Let's move on to spouses – never mind, that's only Elphie and I." He and Elphaba shared a loving smile until they were interrupted by Glinda squealing.
"Boq! Get away from me, you weirdo!" Everyone else now saw that Boq had been scooting closer to Glinda and was trying to hold her hand meaningfully. "I do not love you, and we are not getting married!" she yelled.
"Boq, you're going to marry me, right?" Nessarose asked from her position floating over everyone's heads.
"You're dead!" Boq said, as if it wasn't obvious, "And I don't love you! Ha! I can tell you that now that you're dead and can't hurt me anymore! I don't love you, you obsessive-compulsive freak!"
Nessa burst into tears. Elphaba shot Boq a deadly look, but everyone else was applauding.
"Finally!" Madame Morrible said. "Congratulotions, Boq. Now that you've come out with your secret, here's mine – Barty, I love you!" she turned to the Wizard and flung her arms around his neck.
"Barty?" Elphaba asked, but the Wizard was already returning the hug and now he and Morrible were…making out?
"Okay, that's just wrong," Dorothy said disapprovingly, turning away to face Fiyero. "Scarecrow, now's as good a time as any to let you know that I have always been extremely attracted to you!" She leaned forward to hug him.
Fiyero embraced her, adopting a dreamy look until he saw Elphaba's murderous expression over Dorothy's shoulder. He quickly pushed the farmgirl away. "Uh…go to the Lion. He needs a companion."
The Lion was cowering in the corner, away from everybody else. Dr. Dillamond approached him.
"We Animals should stick together," he pronounced.
"Glinda, give me a chance!" Boq pleaded, trying once again to hug her. Glinda was warding him off with her wand. Nessa was bearing angrily down on Boq, screeching at him indistinguishable words.
Elphaba pulled Fiyero close to her protectively as Dorothy continued to stumble after them.
The two Animals watched, half-interested, half-disgusted. Glinda was now wrestling with Boq over her wand, which had commenced spouting large bubbles out of its tip. Nessarose was pelting Boq with rotten eggs (wherever they came from). Elphaba was dragging Fiyero away from Dorothy, all the time threatening to 'Get her and her little dog, too!' Madame Morrible and the Wizard were still making out.
"Disturbing," the Lion observed dryly.
"Yes, indeed." Dr. Dillamond agreed.
Just then, a small explosion made even Morrible and the Wizard break apart. A small circle of the floor was burned. Dorothy stood in the middle, her eyebrows singed off and the tips of her pigtails burnt. She looked, as most people would in that situation, dumbstruck. Elphaba stood a few feet away, her arms raised in a spell. Fiyero was crouched behind her. Nessa was poised overhead, a rotten egg still clutched in her ghostly hand. A few more were smashed near Dorothy.
It didn't take long to figure out what happened. Apparently, Elphaba's defense spell and Nessa's rotten eggs did not mix well.
In a jiffy, Glinda waved her wand and sent Dorothy back over the rainbow ("All it takes is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust!")
Madame Morrible and the Wizard, lips locked once more, got into the Wizard's balloon and went off to Kansas, where they lived happily ever after.
The Lion ran out of the castle. He spent a few years in therapy sessions before getting a job as a tour guide in a kiddie Haunted House. It gave the youngsters courage to know their leader was even more afraid then they were.
Dr. Dillamond got back on the lam for a while before going back to his teaching job at Shiz for many more years and finally discovering the lost city of Ozlantis, making himself a legend.
Glinda went into politics and became the Ruler of Oz before retiring to be a talk show host, as they all do eventually. Her talk show was all about makeovers.
By some twister of fate, Boq became Glinda's advisor. Eventually, Glinda fell in love with his doting nature and married him 'out of the goodness of her heart'. They were constantly on alert for flying rotten eggs, as Nessa would not stop haunting them. Eventually, they recovered the silver shoes from limbo and buried them in her grave. Her unfinished business complete, Nessa's ghost disappeared and never came back.
Elphaba and Fiyero lived happily in Kiamo Ko, amusing themselves by turning people into toads and making up more surveys, respectively. Every once in a while, one of these surveys would circulate around a group, and people's lives would be changed, or ruined, until Elphaba threatened to stuff a mattress with Fiyero. From then on, Fiyero kept his products to himself.
And they all lived happily ever after! (Yeah, right!)
A/N: I didn't want to go over all the answers, because it would get boring and redundant. So I ended it there! Review!