AN: This is my first try at writing humor. I hope y'all think this is funny. If you do, please tell me, if you don't, please tell me why.
Thank you Bela for the beta!
Fuzzy Pink Boxers
A "ugh" sound came through the room and a big "dunk" was heard when something fell off the couch. A tussled blond head peeked over the sofa, not looking very good or happy.
"Get your arse in gear," the red head screamed from the fire place.
"Why?" The mop of blond hair whined.
"Because it's Monday, and you have a job to do," she said slowly, like she was explaining itto a three year old.
"Ugh!" another "dunk" was heard when another something fell off the other end of the sofa. "Weasley, leave, you're hurting my ears."
A loud sigh came from the fireplace. "Zabini, what did you two do last night?" she said in a low threatening voice.
"We went drinking." Malfoy replied while picking himself off the floor and sitting down on the couch.
"On a Sunday?"
"Obviously," he muttered.
"We were miserable and we needed some pick me ups," Blaise said matter-of-factly, while standing up.
"Pick me ups? As in plural?" she asked raising an eyebrow. Both boys just nodded. Taking a better look at the dark haired boy in front of her, Ginny gasped and her eyes widened. "Blaise, why are you wearing fuzzy pink boxers?"
Looking down on his underwear, he also gasped and then turned to his blond companion and best friend.
"Yes, why am I wearing pink boxers?" he asks in a very accusing tone.
"Don't look at me like that; it's certainly not my fault that you are wearing those very ugly pink boxers." He said looking very offended.
Blaise shrugs, then trying another technique said. "Well do you know why I'm wearing pink boxers?"
Draco tried to remember anything from the night before. Flashbacks came rushing trough his brain, scenes including tequila shots, stripping and fuzzy pink boxers.
"Oh my God!" he shuddered and put his head in his hands. Looking up at his two best friends he deadpanned, "I know how you ended up wearing fuzzy pink boxers."
"Can we please stop saying 'fuzzy pink boxers'?" Ginny said still sitting in the flames. "Wait two seconds, I'm coming over."
Seconds later Ginny Weasley came out of the fire in all her not-so-tall glory. Since she had been to Malfoy Manor many times before, she summoned a house-elf and asked for two cups of coffee for the hung-over boys and a cup of tea for herself. Then she sat down in a comfy chair and gave them eachan once-over. Both of them looked horrible. What on earth would trigger these two boys to go drinking on Sunday night when both of them knew perfectly well that they had to go to work the next day? Even though they both had enough money to live out their lives in luxury, they preferred to work, showing the world what great skills they had.
"This should be interesting." She said with a smirk, dangerously similar to the blond Slytherin's.
Sipping on his newly acquired coffee, Draco peered at her through his eyelashes and said, "Are you sure that your delicate mind can handle such a story?" With a smirk only he could pull off.
"I think my delicate mind got corrupted the day I befriended you, Draco Malfoy." She said with a flirtatious wink.
"If you two could stop with your flirting, I would really like to know how I ended up in fuzzy pink boxers."
Looking back at Blaise, Draco started telling the story.
"Blaise and I went drinking,"
"On a Sunday."
"Well duh!" Blaise said while Draco only sighed. "Do you want to hear the story or what?"
"We started out with a few beers at the Leaky Cauldron, when suddenly Blaise says that if we were going to drink ourselves out of our misery, then we should do it properly. So he drags me to the new bar called Snake Skin With Leopards Spots, where you could say there was a little more life than at the Leaky Cauldron."
"Merlin! What a tacky name." Ginny shuddered.
"When we arrive, Blaise goes straight to the bar and orders some strong, pink, and fruity flavored drinks with umbrellas." Draco continued.
"Umbrellas? You know you can't handle umbrella drinks!" Ginny groans. "And why wasn't I invited?" She asked with a pout. To be honest she felt a little hurt. "Aren't I good enough to go drinking with?" She fixed her glare at Draco.
"Er….um." Squirming in his seat, Draco looked desperately at Blaise. As desperately as a Malfoy could look, that is. But Ginny had known him long enough that she had learned how to tell his expressions apart.
Blaise saved him from answering by saying it was a guy thing. Still unsure if she believed them, she shrugged and told him to continue.
"After an hour or so, we both managed to drink a lot and were way pasttipsy. Blaise, being completely drunk, gets this fabulous idea that he wants to do some bar dancing."
"Not again!" Ginny exclaimed. This had, of course, happened before. On their many escapades, when Blaise drank toomany umbrella drinks and got really intoxicated on the pink stuff, he always felt the need to dance on top of a bar. It often ended with Ginny and Draco dragging him down before he got the urge to take off his pants. Strangely, this only happened when he drank drinks with small umbrellas in them.
"Oh yes, when he was about to do his grand finale," Draco said.
"-The stripping?" she asked carefully.
"Yeah, I remember now!" A proud Blaise chimes in.
"This can't end well."
"That's right. Blaise had by then lost his shirt and trousers and was only standing in his boxers. He was dancing to the beat and the crowd was cheering. But then the bartender threw him off – I had to really sweet talk the man so he wouldn't throw us out. In the meantime, Blaise couldn't find his clothes."
Laughing, Ginny says, "That still doesn't explain the fuzzy and pink part."
"I'm getting to that. Stupidly, we kept drinking. Later some pretty witches wanted us to do a cage dance. We were totally sloshed, and drunk as we were that sounded like a brilliant idea."
This time it was Blaise that groaned. "I remember this part." Looking up from his hands he deadpanned "– it's not good."
Taking over the tread in the story, Blaise continued.
"We were really damn drunk – I don't think I've been that drunk before. The both of us did some really impressive and painful moves in that cage. I think I pulled a muscle."
"What kind of moves?" Ginny chokes out, falling out of her chair laughing. Two sharp looks shut her up.
"Then we got sprayed with whipped cream." Draco mutters.
"Come again? Whipped cream? Please tell me you have pictures!" Ginny was now rolling on the floor clutching her stomach with glee.
"When we came stumbling out of the cage, we were given even more alcohol!" Blaise almost shouts.
"What idiot couldn't see that we clearly didn't need more alcohol?" Draco commented.
"Yeah!" Blaise replies.
"It must have been around three A.M. when Blaise announced that he was cold, so he tried to transfigurate some clothes back on his body. All he ended up with was…pink, fuzzy boxers." Draco says trying not to laugh at his friend.
"I really think that McGonagall should have warned us about something like this. If that isn't a prime example for why you shouldn't do magic while drunk, then I don't know what is." Blaise said.
Looking at her friends a little speechless, she finally managed to say, "Soundslike you two had an exciting evening."
Not looking amused Draco said, "Oh the night didn't end there. If I remember correctly we got dragged into a poker game, where the loser takes a tequila shot. I don't think we were winning much."
"It's a wonder none of you died of alcohol poisoning!" Ginny exclaimed.
"Well, we got a pretty high tolerance. And besides, you start getting immune to it after many years of partying!" Blaise said.
"What's the reason you would go out drinking that much anyway?" Ginny asked, eyeing the both of them.
Clearing his throat Draco said, "Never mind that."
"Anyway!" Shooting a glance at Blaise he said, "Then my mind gets a little foggy. But I think that we were in a middle of a stripping game when the patrol Aurors came."
"Aurors? You didn't say anything about being arrested!" She almost shrieked.
"Don't worry, Love, we didn't get arrested." Blaise said.
After she calmed down a little she smirks and says, "That explains the hung over and the fuzzy pink boxers, but not why you two are chained together?"
"WHAT?" Both men yelled and jumped apart. Since the chain wasn't very long they got thrown together and bumped their heads. A dawning expression appeared on both of their faces. They both turned to Ginny and said in unison
"Huh?" Ginny none the wiser lifted a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "You'll need to elaborate on that."
"You see when the fine Aurors where escorting us home," Draco started,
"- Fine chaps -" Blaise interrupted.
"Yes indeed. We kept running in different directions, so they chained us together. When we arrived here it must have been around five A.M., so we just collapsed on the sofa. They must have forgotten to take them off us."
Ginny nodded in understanding. It's not like anything like this hadn't ever happened before.
Sniffing them she wrinkled her nose she said, "My god, you smell foul! You both reek of alcohol. And I bet you didn't take any sobering potion before you fell asleep?" They shook their heads. "And now they won't work." She sighed.
"Okay, both of you go take a shower and I'll fix some hangover food for you. Plus, I have to call the Ministry and tell them none of us are coming in today."
Blaise and Draco stood shocked staring at their wonderful friend. Squirming under their gazes she shooed them along. Draco turned and left immediately, murmuring something about "muggle headache pills." Blaise was almost out the door when Ginny said,
"You never really told me why you were out drinking on a Sunday?"
Blaise turned. "It's really all Draco's fault."
Blaise grinned and said, "He's in love with his best friend."