Okay, I love reading fanfics about the Cullen crew (Bella and Hales included) and a nice 'clean' game of truth-or-dare decided to write my own. I give credit to vampiress225, musical-gerbil, Golden Dawn and MANY others. If you have a twilight truth or dare please, please, PLEASE send me your name in a review so that I can A) read it, and B) suggest it to people who read this (chances are that I have read it, the three at the top were ones I have read in the past few days). Just know that not all of this is going to be original ideas, but they are going to be changed.
I obviously don't own twilight, as evidenced by the craptastic story ahead of your poor, poor eyes.
Oh, and Ms. Sillywilly, you are my idol!
On to the craptastic story, yall!
"Okay, everybody, it's Friday!" Alice squealed.
"Very good, Alice! Eighty years is all it took to teach her the days of the week." Emmett snorted.
We all knew all too well that Friday nights were Alice's designated torture time-game night.
"What did you have in mind, Love?" Jasper inquired. I am pretty sure that you could hear the dust fall on the piano as the room went silent. Since when did Jasper call Alice 'Love?'
"I think we're having a bad influence on them, Darling." Edward squeezed my shoulder, collecting scattered chuckles and a gentle conspicuous kick from Alice.
"Terribly sorry, what did you have in mind, Mrs. Hale?" Jasper corrected himself sarcastically.
"If we are done mocking my relationship with my husband…Truth-or-dare" She smiled wickedly.
Oh, Hell no!
"Pardon me?" I gulped.
"Bella, calm down. I won't let the mean vampires hurt you." Edward chuckled.
"Easy for you to say, you've never played truth or dare!" I squeaked.
"Oh, come now, I am sure it's not that bad." He sighed.
I shot him a look that clearly said 'we are playing with four vampires and a human, and a deranged Alice, here!'
Now he looked worried.
"Come on, you are all such babies! Will you suck it up and come sit in the living room?" Alice pleaded.
We walked single-file into the next room, all knowing that we were damned further than anything 'vampirism' could do.
"Who's going first?" Alice was bouncing on the edge of the sofa, Jasper sending her wave after wave of calm, to no results.
Then Emmett spoke. "I say the oldest goes first."
"Emmett you retard!" Rosalie smacked him. "Why the Hell would you request Edward going first? Are you trying to kill us all?!"
Alice ignored the indignant blond. "Okay, Edward. You go."
Edward had to speak a little louder than usual, due to Rosalie's continued bellowing. "Rosalie, hey Rosalie. YO! ROSALIE!"
"What? Oh-" When Rosalie realized that she was being shouted to by the man with the power to ruin her life, she immediately stopped shouting. Instead, she fluently strung together words that I didn't know were curse words, but there you go.
Edward clasped his hands around my 'innocent' ears.
"If you're done poisoning the mind of my Angel, truth or dare?" Edward requested.
I couldn't help but giggle, my mind was being poisoned by cursing? I had a feeling that by the end of this game, if words were poison, we would all die, immortal or no.
"Fu…Dare. I am not scarred of you!" Her previous cursing session, along with her eyes, disagreed.
"Oh, you should be." Edward laughed manically.
"What the Hell, Edward?" I slapped him out of his "muahahaing." Unfortunately, my hand paid the price. I gave off a curse or two of my own. The whole room gaped. "What?" I shrugged. At least Edward no longer resembled fictional vampires.
"Okayyyyyyyy," Rosalie broke the silence. "Edward? What is my dare?"
"Dare, oh, right. I dare you to empty your wardrobe and give it all to the homeless shelter." He announced proudly.
"WHAT?!?!?!!?!?!?" Rosalie shrieked, and then started cursing again.
"And you can't back out of it!" Edward shouted.
"Why, why, why, why, God, why?" Rosalie paced.
"Hey, Edward, oh brilliant one? What the Hell is she supposed to wear?" Emmett cut in.
"Um, she can go shopping?" He suggested.
"Edward, you shall perish, damn you! Giving her a reason to shop? Are you friggen kidding me?"
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Edward howled, earning slaps from the four other vampires in the room.
I fell off the couch laughing at the dumbfounded look on his innocent face. I am going to miss that face, Rosalie is going to tear it off!
"Come on, Rose," Alice grabbed her. "It's okay, you can kill the mean, demonic Edward later, but I'll help you get all of the stuff out.
Fifty-three minutes later, we were all back in the living room, Rosalie still cursing Edward to the most inner circles of the firing pits of Hell and all of its Hellish wonders.
"Okay, Rose. It's your turn. No death or high scale war, 'kay?" Alice sniffed.
"Wait, I can't dare Emmett to declare war on Canada?" She groaned.
"Fine." She looked around the room, glaring at each of us in turn. "Bella, truth or dare?"
"Truth, Bella, Truth!" Edward whispered urgently.
Of all the people to want me to choose truth, it was the one person with whom I had a mile high plethora of secrets. There was no way on earth I was prepared to share those secrets with this room. And besides, what could they possibly do to the little human girl?
"Dare." I said.
"Nooooo!" Edward moaned. "Why, Bella, why?"
Wait, now it was starting to sink in. I had just accepted 'dare' from Rosalie, the queen of revenge. WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT?
"Okay, Bella. We are going to be taking a little trip into town for this one."
Oh crap. "Um, why would that be, Rosalie?" I asked wearily.
"Because, my no-longer-so-innocent little human, you are going to get dressed in an outfit of my choice, from Alice's closet, and we are taking you clubbing!"
"I'm sorry, WHAT?!" I screamed.
"Oh, you heard me!"
"What happened to truth, Bella? Why would you do this to me?" Edward moaned.
"To you? I have to dress up like Rosalie, and go clubbing!"
Somehow, Rosalie and Alice had managed to stuff me into a black, slinky tube-top, a miniature mini-skirt (you know, the kind that comes ON A FREAKING BARBIE DOLL in toy stores), high-healed boots (black and leathery, of course), and too much make-up to use on every girl in school individually, let alone on my red little face.
What would Edward do to them when he saw what they had done to me? Oh, this meant war!
Alice had to carry me down-stairs so that my skirt would stay on.
"Alice why the Hell do you have these cloths in the first place?" I prompted as she set me down next to the front door, beyond which, stood a soon-to-be murderous Edward. Oh how he would avenge me!
She and Rosalie exchanged a sheepish glance, and then both fell over laughing.
"What the frick?" I eyed them both suspiciously. God only knows-or wants to know-what the Hell Alice and Rosalie would be doing with clothing twenty sizes too small for even little Alice, or why the memory seemed to be painfully hilarious. Better question, WHY MUST THEY FORCE ME INTO IT NOW?
Hope yee all liketh it…eth. Again, review, review, review! Thanks, Chi