Title: Broken Hallelujah

Author: Katherine

Rating: K+ (it's pretty tame)

Characters: Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor, Mickey Smith

Set: After episode 4 – The Girl in the Fireplace (yes, that's right, it's another GItF fix-it fic – please don't hate me for it.)

Spoilers: Minor spoilers for episode 4 – The Girl in the Fireplace

Disclaimer: I can't believe people still write these. Trust me – if I owned Doctor Who, you'd know!

Summary: (God I hate these). Rose's pain after the events in The Girl in The Fireplace, drive her to delve into her past, and dig up a piece of her history she thought lay dead.

Authors Note: OK, now I know this is gonna sound like it's a song fic, but it's really not. This song only really comes into play in this first chapter, but it is important to pay attention to the lyrics, in particular the second verse.

Acknowledgments: Credit, thanks, love and praise all go to the wonderful Luna Lovegood5 for her beautiful beta work with this story. Mwa!!

Rose had been strangely quiet ever since they left that 52nd century spaceship. He was not used to the dulling silence that seemed to hang all through the TARDIS. She had left him alone with his thoughts to show Mickey around, but that had been over two hours ago. Since then he had seen Mickey at least twice by himself - once on his way to the kitchen, and the other time in the console room, about an hour after Rose and him had left, where Mickey had perched himself on the old chair and begun reading some sort of magazine which he could only describe as tedious to the point of idiocy, though he was not sure why that surprised him. The Doctor was missing Rose's company.

After walking down endless corridors for what seemed to be an age, the Doctor was ready to give up looking for her, and just let Rose find him when she was ready. I mean, its not like he wasn't able to be without her for a couple of hours. He was a big boy. But just as he was turning back towards the console room, he noticed that the regular hum of the TARDIS was not the only sound reaching his ears. There was a soft and beautiful yet haunting seemingly emanating from somewhere further down the corridor he was currently in.

Following the sound, the Doctor finally a reached a door that recognised, however had not seen for many years. The rooms in his ship were numerous to the extent of being uncountable, and it would not surprise him if one day he discovered a room that he had no idea even existed. The sound was most definitely coming from this particular room and although it was now stronger, the sound was still unidentifiable. The Doctor curled his slender fingers around the door handle, and quietly pushed the door open only wide enough to allow him to peer inside the room. What he saw was not at all what he had expected.

He had realised when he reached the door that this was the TARDIS's equivalent of a music room. This was where he stored any and all types of instruments or music that he happened to pick up on his travels. This was where he was sure the TARDIS would have put the Chrylt from Van Statten's museum. In the centre of the room stood an incredible Grand Piano, white and rustic, but able to give a beautiful sound. And there, sitting at the piano, was none other than Rose. There was no music on the piano's music stand, but Rose's fingers deftly caressed the keys as if she knew the notes by heart, producing a beautiful, melodic harmony, soft and haunting, that filled his soul and calmed his mind.

Rose's posture seemed relaxed, but her features were hard and anxious, as if something was troubling her and she was trying to keep it in. Her fingers were delicate on the keys, and she didn't slip, not once. The music was flawless and it was her doing.

And then suddenly, her mouth opened and she began to sing. The Doctor was immediately blown away. At first, her voice was soft and careful, sort of unsure but still melodically correct. Slowly, though, her voice grew, and it blossomed into the most beautiful sound the Doctor had ever heard. Rose's voice was strong and pure, and she seemed to twist the notes into a melody within a melody, creating an incredible toned effect within the original song. Her voice, along with her piano playing, was also beautiful and evocative, and it twisted itself around his heart (or hearts as the case may be), changing their rhythm to fit with the music she was playing.

Slowly, the Doctor began to notice the lyrics flowing from Rose's mouth. They were vaguely familiar but he couldn't pinpoint them. There was so much music in Earth's history, and this song could be from any time period at all.

I heard there was a secret chord

That David played and it pleased the lord

But you don't really care for music do you?

Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth

The minor fall and the major lift

The baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu-uuu-uu-jah….

Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

She tied you to her kitchen chair

She broke your throne and she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

It was at this point in the song that Rose stopped. The tension and terrible sadness had been building in her face since the beginning of this verse, and now it manifested itself in a choked sob that erupted from her throat. Her chin trembled and a lone tear slid its path down her cheek, leaving behind an outline of pain somewhat resembling a snail trail. The Doctor's face contorted into a mixture of emotions – pain, compassion, confusion – this was completely unexpected. Why was his Rose so upset? But still he waited by the door, a little too afraid to make his presence known and to go to her and find the source of her hurt. Even after four hundred years of travelling with humans, he was still unsure of how to deal with this sort of situation.

So he waited and watched as she composed herself and continued playing and singing – the sound a little tighter now, but still haunting, and still completely and spell-bindingly beautiful.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu-uuu-uu-jah….

Baby, I've been here before

I've seen this room and I've walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

I've seen your flag on the marble arch

But love is not a victory march

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu-uuu-uu-jah….

Well, there was a time when you let me know

What's really going on below

But now you never show that to me, do you?

The tears now flowed freely down her face, each creating their own fine trail of pain. Rose's face was like a map of sorrow, with lines intersecting and joining and jumbling and weaving together. However, she pressed on, the small signs of stress in her voice simply adding to the pure, raw emotion in her song. Rose continued to unknowingly cast her spell upon the Doctor's soul.

Remember when I moved in you

And the holy dove was moving too,

And every breath we drew was hallelujah.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu-uuu-uu-jah….

Well, maybe there's a god above,

But all I've ever learned from love

Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.

It's not a cry that you hear at night

And it's not somebody who's seen the light

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu-uuu-uu-jah….

She held on this last note as if she was holding onto her life, stretching the sound until she drew back nearly gasping for breath. There was a tiny gap of silence where nothing happened, like the calm before the storm, like when all the birds that have been chirping and screeching, as they do before the rain comes, suddenly stop, and there is just a few seconds of complete silence, before the rain finally buckets down and drowns out any other sound that might arise.

Rose's silence did not even span ten seconds, but it was a curious period for the Doctor, as he contemplated leaving versus waiting and watching her a while longer. However, he barely had time to make a decision; Rose's face tightened before he knew what to do. A wrenching cry made its way up her throat, and, the next thing the Doctor knew, she was sobbing uncontrollably over the piano.

The Doctors pain must have been close to mirroring Rose's in that moment. It killed him to see her in so much anguish, and he wanted desperately to comfort her, to hold her and to tell her that it would all be alright, whatever was wrong. But his feet would not move. He remained glued to the spot and found that he really could not work up the courage to go to her. So he turned away. He walked back down the corridor, disgusted by his own lack of resolve and kept walking until the length of the TARDIS corridors drowned out the sound of Rose's pain.

It was here that he slid down one of the walls until he was sitting on the grated floor. Nothing he could think of could explain Rose's pain. I mean, obviously they had that thing on the spaceship, but he'd come back and everything had been OK again, hadn't it? He was at a loss for an explanation, for once in his life, so he decided to go to someone else who might have another idea. It was hard to believe that he might be asking Mickey the Idiot for advice, but when it came to Rose, he was willing to try anything.


Comments are love!

P.S. Did anyone clue in on the second verse of the song?