Disclaimer: If I owned PoT then it would be about swimming, not tennis.

Warnings: Crack. Lots of crack. And some yaoi fluff. MANY pairings including: Uke Pair (YukiKiri - main pairing), Data Pair, Tango Pair, MaruiJiroh, YagyuuKaidoh (look to OVA number 4), and NiouSaeki. Yes, I'm on crack. Or something.

A/N: Wheee...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST BUCHOU EVAH! Yes, that's right, it's YUKIMURA'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! At least...that's what Sandy said. Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SANDY (SANDILEINA) TOO! Cuz today's her b-day as well. Well she's awesome and he's awesome, so it makes sense that they'd have the same birthday. -nods- Anyways, enjoy the crack. This was written at midnight as soon as the fifth started for me and is being posted at midnight my time as well. And those are crack hours. -grins-


"NE, NE FUKUBUCHOU, WHERE'S MURA?!"

Sanada Genichiroh sighed while watching their junior ace bounce around the locker room. "I don't know, Akaya. Why?"

"Because we can't let him know what we're planning," said Marui coming up from behind Akaya.

"Yeah, brattling here would be mortified if buchou were to learn of the surprise party," said Niou who had materialized next to Marui.

Sanada blinked. "Huh?"

"There was an 83.7 percent chance that you would forget today was Seiichi's birthday." Now Yanagi has materialized behind him.

"Oh." Right. Today was March 5th. How could he have forgotten about his best friend's birthday?

"Hiroshi forgot mine too after he hooked up with that Kaidoh kid from Seigaku," Niou said. Had he spoken out loud?

"No, I just know what you're thinking." If you can tell what I'm thinking then how about last night he…thought while conjuring up an image of him and Atobe and-

Niou's eyes widened. "You're not as innocent as they think you are, eh fukubuchou?" Sanada was SO screwed.

"NE, NE, SO HAS ANYBODY SEEN MURA?!?!" a very hyper Akaya asked.

"Sorry Akaya, haven't seen your boyfriend. Why not go look for him again?" Marui suggested.

Akaya nodded thoughtfully. "OKAY!" he yelled and bounced off.

"There's a 73 percent chance that Seiichi's in the library, Akaya," Yanagi called after the junior, not feeling the need to tell them where he would probably be earlier , before flipping out his cell phone and dialing.

"Jackal, Akaya's had a bit too much sugar, can you watch him?" Jackal answered back. "Thanks." Yanagi hung up and then pressed speed dial.

"Sadaharu, I'm afraid I'll have to cancel our date tonight because of-" Yanagi started while walking out of the room, leaving Sanada alone with Marui and Niou.

Marui then flipped out his phone and headed for the door as well, grinning. "If you'll excuse me, I have to cancel my date with Jiroh," he said before leaving.

Now it was just Sanada and Niou.

"Come on, fukubuchou," he said, eyes glinting evilly, "We have to go work on the decorations for buchou's party."

Sanada was SOOOO screwed.


Meanwhile…

Akaya (being stalked by Jackal) was bouncing around the halls of Rikkai looking for Yukimura. Stopping by his locker he took out a huge box wrapped in shiny paper and continued to bounce down the halls with it, thought it was hard because the box was at least half his size.

Jackal almost went and helped him with it, but then he remembered that Akaya had a boyfriend and he didn't, so he went into jealous-defensive mode, because he was the only regular that didn't have one now. (Niou had recently hooked up with Saeki from Rokkaku). So he curled up in a ball in the corner and stopped following Akaya. Poor, poor Jackal.

So Akaya was still bouncing down the hallway with his shiny, shiny box. But if he hadn't been on so much sugar he might have been sad. Because today meant that Yukimura was 15, so they were different ages. Which made him kind of sad. But he shrugged if off, because he had picked out the best present EVAH!

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. He just kept bouncing down the hall. But after running into people he realized that maybe he should open his eyes while bouncing – and this is what he saw.

Walls. Lockers. Some stupid kids. His stupid English teacher who he had "accidentally kicked this morning", Yagyuu-senpai and that Kaidoh kid making out, more lockers – wait, WHAT?!

He did a double take. That was definitely them. And they were doing…weird…things with their hands. And they didn't seem to notice anybody around them. It was kinda freaking Akaya out. But he couldn't move because he was curious about what they were doing.

So he kept staring. And staring. And staring. When all of a sudden the YagyuuKaidoh pair seemed to notice the conveniently placed broom closet in that hall way and slipped in side. Akaya tried to spy, but he just got hit in the nose by the door.

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Lockers. Some teachers. Goldfish crackers. YUM! So he stopped to eat the goldfish crackers off of the hall floor. So they were a little dusty and dirty and moldy. Whatever. They tasted just fine to him.

Bounce. Lockers. Bounce. Paper. Bounce. Classrooms. Bounce. Principal. Yanagi-senpai and Marui-senpai talking on the phone outside. Bounce. Niou making Sanada carry a bunch of things while he just walked along. More doors. The library. More doors. Oh, wait, Yukimura was supposed to be in the library. So Akaya did a little backtrack (which was this weird wiggle-dance thing) and hoped he could find the other boy in here.

And Yanagi was right. After bouncing in quite noisily, being told to leave by the librarian, and being shot a lot of angry glares, he finally found Yukimura in the back totally absorbed in a book about frogs.

Actually it was…um…well he was, er, surrounded by yaoi manga, mainly Gravitation. But we'll pretend it's a book about frogs, because that's what he told Akaya.

"MURA!" he screamed almost dropping the giant shiny box which might have ruined the shiny, shiny paper. And that's not good.

"Ah, Akaya," he said while scrambling to hide the manga that Akaya thought was about frogs.

"HAPPY BIRFDAY!!!" he yelled and set his giant shiny, shiny box down on the table. "I GOT YOU A PRESENT! OPENITOPENITOPENITOPENITOPENITOPENIT!" he screamed excitedly.

"Sure," Yukimura said smiling and began to open it veeery carefully so as to not rip any of the shiny, shiny paper. It took him like twenty whole minutes to take off the shiny, shiny wrapping paper. And then he folded it veeeeeery carefully, which took another twenty minutes.

And finally he opened the box. And he was mentally like "OMFG!" You know why? Cuz the box was full of cool stuff!

Likes lots of shojo manga (there is no fruit in the basket, only rice), and CRAYONS! And juice boxes!

Yukimura looked up and saw the anticipated look on Akaya's face. "DO YOU LIKE IT?!?!" he asked, still on too much sugar.

"Love it," the older boy responded while pressing his lips firmly against Akaya's. "But I like this more," he said, pulling away and smirking.


A/N: RAWR! The end! Yeah, not edited. Or anything. Excuse the mistakes, it's midnight, I was away from home from 7:30 am - 9 pm today because of school and swim practice, and my throat hurts. So the unedited crack is what was needed right now. Anyways, please review! Pretty please? With a cherry on top? -looks hopeful-