By Miss Willow
A/N: Another update! Yay! So I decided to add another chapter because things aren't going too well with Kress in Hollyoaks at the moment and I had a thought for the contents of this chapter. Here you go.
"KRIS!" I screamed at the top of my voice, not caring that the rain was now pouring down, completely ruining my hair, which I'd spent hours straightening during the ungodly hours of the morning. I clutched at my side, the pain of a stitch searing through my side. It hurt badly but I had to continue looking… I had to find Kris and explain to him why I decided what I did in the way I did.
I hugged myself, tears now joining the rain that was running down my cheeks. The way he'd looked at me. It was hate. There was no other word for it. He hated me. Kris hated me. Oh god, what was I supposed to do?! Who had I been kidding! I should have told him! He deserved to know the truth! I'd been kidding myself before… there was no way I could have coped with the stress and emotional pain of an abortion without anyone else there to support me, if I'd gone through with the abortion. If. It's got absolutely nothing to do with a maternal instinct or a bond but simply because I doubt I would have had enough courage to go through it. I can't stand pain and the physical and emotional pain I would have to put my body through with an abortion… I knew I must have sounded selfish. No wonder Kris hated me.
There was no point dwelling on things. The most important thing was that I found Kris and I was going to find him, regardless of whether I got pneumonia in process. "I'M SORRY, KRIS!" I shouted through the storm. Thunder rumbled above my head and there was a flash of lightening. For a second, everything was illuminated in a bright, white light and I saw a mop of blond hair ahead of me. Kris. "KRIS! PLEASE! WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS!"
Someone shouted something back. Was it Kris replying? I didn't think I would be able to take more of his hate-filled words. However, I knew I would have to face them, be it then or in the near future, so I ran blindly through the rain, hoping that I was going vaguely in the direction of the blond hair.
Relief washed over me. It was Kris. "KRIS!" I yelled. He was sitting in the park, on the edge of the fountain. He looked as lost as I felt. He heard my shout and looked up. There was that look again.
"JESS LEAVE ME ALONE!" He shouted back at me, though he didn't move from the fountain. I ignored his words and stumbled toward him, now shivering uncontrollably. I vaguely had time to register the headlights of a car. It was like I had stepped into one of those dramatic films; everything slowed down to an almost halt, allowing me to take in every little detail but being powerless to stop it. The car was red and a sleek, flashy car, similar to the ones that Kris and I had used to joke about, saying that only pounces drove such ridiculous machines, that were completely unsuitable for any sort-of weather. I looked over at Kris and I saw that he'd turned around and was staring at me in horror. His blond hair was a tangled mess, his blue eyes remarkably clear and his expression. His expression was filled with fear, anguish and helplessness. He was too far away to reach me. I knew that. He knew it.
A scream pierced the air and I recognised it as my own, as things suddenly sped back into real life motion. "JESS! NO!" I braced myself and flung my arms over my head. I was beyond scared… I was terrified… I was paralysed, I couldn't have run even I wanted to… my last thought before I fainted was that I was just glad that I hadn't remained conscious for the hit of the car.
"JESS! NO!" I screamed, hysterical. The car ran straight into her and her body crumpled beneath the impact. She disappeared under the car, which served suddenly, dangerously, and veered straight off the window, smashing into the park railings. Then silence. The car headlights remained on and they blared over Jess' limp body. She lay sprawled in the middle of the road. Not moving. I found myself running toward her and as I reached her, I dropped to my knees beside her, staring down at her in disbelief.
None of this was happening. It was all a dream; a bad dream. I was going to wake up any second now, get dressed and walk into the kitchen to be greeted by Jess' smiling face at the breakfast bar. But it wasn't a dream and I didn't know if Jess would ever wake again, let alone smile. Her brown hair was fanned out around her head, littered with glass from the smashed windscreen of the car. Her skin was deathly pale and her mouth hung open, still formed in a small 'oh' of shock. Her brown eyes were hidden by her eyelids but I could tell they would have been filled with horror and hurt.
I'd done this to her. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have come running out into the middle of a rainstorm, too distracted to pay attention to what she was doing, to where she was going. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't touch her. She already looked so… broken. So fragile. Sudden, chest-racking sobs were shaking through my body and my vision was blurred with the constant tears that were falling down my cheeks.
"It's alright, son. I've called the hospital. The paramedics are on their way." A man, it must have been the driver, said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I didn't shrug him off; it wasn't his fault. I couldn't blame him for something he hadn't meant to do.
"I'm sorry, Jess, I'm so sorry," I said between sobs, my shaking hands reaching to push her fringe out of her face. Jess hated her fringe falling into her eyes, said that it gave her look of immaturity. A ghost of a smile appeared on my face. "You'll be ok, Jess. I'll make sure of it. I promise."