Disclaimer: Pango is copyright to Namco.
Author's Note: Sorry for the lateness. I've been busy and all, and didn't feel very much like random during the time.
But here's the chapter now...
Read on to find out Pango's instruction manual.
The Pango Owner's Guide
To the owner:
Thank you for purchasing the 'Pango' unit. Please read this instruction manual throughly to ensure many years of happiness and joy with your Pango unit. Namco Inc. is pleased to have brought out the new, revised units, and guarantees that all the bugs in the previous version has been fixed.
Specifications and Aesthetics:
Alias: Bomb Man
Type: Male, Pangolin (hence his namesake), Lunatean.
Manufacturers: Klonoa Works Inc, Namco, Japan.
Date of Manufacture: 2002. No revising was needed for this unit. We'll revise this unit again when Namco actually starts taking notice of him.
Description: Anthro-pangolin, orange scales. Calm, kind and jolly. Wise. Wears normally a green worksuit, and carries a hoard of apples and bombs around everywhere. See the 'Mode' section below to see how this appearence can be changed.
Height/Weight: 1m 40cm. Weight is too heavy to be written here. Of average height for his age.
The Pango unit has a few settings available. Normally, the unit is docile and kind, but one mode exists to change it all. The mode in question may result in severe damage, so be careful to insure your house, garage, car, and baby's dummy.
Mode I. Happy, jolly and nice. A real joker.
Mode II. Serious and phillosophical, but still kind. Heroes instincts apply.
Mode III. Raving maniac.
Mode IV. Desparate father.
The Pango unit, although not revised, will automatically be set to Mode II. Those settings can be changed as much as you want.
Your Pango unit will have the following items:
1 Gold Hero Medal
5 Giant Bomb
6-set of Throwing Bombs
3 packets of Grenades
1 Bomb-fixing Kit
2 Spare Worksuits
1 Hoard of Apples
1 Copy of the Book 'Legend of Stars and Moon'
If you bought the Deluxe Kit, 1 Boris unit will be included. The Boris unit will remain with your Pango unit at all times, so don't try to separate them. The Boris unit may pine away, automatically triggering the malfuction systems in your Pango unit. If you bought the Star Medal Heroes special edition, 1 Klonoa unit and 1 Guntz unit will be included, all the accesories attached also. The items are replaceable, and you can buy more items of your choice. Contact 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR for further information.
Your Pango unit will arrive to you in his own protective crate, fresh right from the factory. Don't be alarmed when the postman runs away screaming from your front door, for the crate may have a sticker that says 'Explosive Materials'. To keep his moving parts pristine and clean, you might wish to give it a bath and grooming before activating the unit. It is fully recommended you do not activate the unit before the bath and grooming; his pangolin instincts will reject the contact with water and he is most likely to end up throwing you out of the bathroom. Remember, your unit cannot swim. Do not leave the bath unattended once the unit is activated.
Warning: Elderly female owners, married or committed to a partner are recommended to keep your partner out of the house when carrying out this procedure. Namco Inc. does not take responsibility for divorce/fight/injury prodedures due to this.
Operating Your Unit:
Apart from the aesthetic value of your Pango unit, it can also be utilized in many ways.
Bomber: This is for terrorists only. The Pango unit is capable mixing deadly bombs, even better than dynamite itself. Plus, no one would suspect you either. The unit is careful to leave no traces.
Bodyguard: Combined with the Jillius unit or the Heroes, the Pango unit can make the most satisfying bodyguard. Trained well, it can also serve as a sentinel, a rare option found in only a few of the Namco Inc. models. If you decide to disable the bombing fuctions, do not be surprised if the unit comes back with body parts all over the green worksuit, as it may have used the Rolling Blaster attack instead.
Therapist: The Pango unit is more like a fatherly figure than anything else, and can discuss topics that the Jillius units find uncomfortable to deal with. Ask it anything you want, but do leave the Boris unit out of it.
Guardian: Alongside the Jillius unit, or solo, this unit can serve as a guardian - not only for your children or your drugged partner, either. If there are more units in the house, the Pango unit will take care of them and possibly train with them. Even the Guntz unit will co-operate with this particular unit.
Warning: Some sensible members of the Klonoa fandom may find it necessary to mob your Pango unit, especially if they're feeling emo. Please tell them gently to back off your unit, or the Pango unit will bomb them all. If that doesn't work, change it into Mode III and leave the site immediately.
Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models:
The Pango unit may socialize with all units, due to its friendly, jolly nature. However, several models might trigger the automatic malfuction systems in your unit, therefore should never be exposed in front of it.
Klonoa unit: Can act as a fatherly figure and trainer to this model. With the occasional apple and advice, the Klonoa unit will depend on the Pango unit for training and will grow strong, possibly to become a bodyguard. No Slash Update Kit is available as of now.
Guntz unit: This unit loves the Pango unit. Will comply and get along fine with your model, so they need very little supervision. Just check every few hours to see if they're not planning a deadly mixture that will result in the destruction of your house. Namco Inc. does not offer any insurance or payment for any damage due to this. No Slash Update Kit is available, and for the sake of fangirls, no offer is currently being considered.
Jillius unit: Although the Jillius unit is younger, the Pango unit sees this unit as equal. They can act as double sentinels, or trainers for any other models in your house. You can rely on them for almost anything. No Slash Update Kit is available, due to the Jillius unit's unique characteristic of rejecting homosexuality of any kind.
Boris unit: The Boris unit is officially considered the Pango unit's son. They are inseparable, don't try to separate them for more than a few minutes. Your Pango unit has a strong fatherly instinct, and any attempts to challenge this will be crushed.
Those are the three main units that the Pango unit should never face.
'Nahato no Yami Conspiracy' series: Garlen, Janga and Joka units. Those units, especially the Garlen and Janga units, are responsible for the Boris models' sleeping sickness. Just looking at the units will make your Pango unit malfuction, and consequences may be unexpected.
Your Pango unit does not need frequent cleaning, as the dirt automatically slips off its scales. However, a gentle rub down with some chamosis leather and bay rum lotion will keep your model's scales looking shiny and sleek. Make sure that the Pango unit knows about this beforehand.
Q: My Pango unit went out for a walk one day and came back in a rage. Since then, it has locked the Boris unit and itself in the kitchen and refuses to come out, and keeps on muttering something. What's going on?
A: There is a 'Nahato no Yami Conspiracy' series model in the neighbourhood. Chances are it may be the Janga unit. Try to negotiate with the owner of the Janga unit as much as possible. If the owner is rude and flat out refuses to do anything about it, you can always change the Pango unit's mode. Plus, check if it is muttering possible formulas for deadly bombs. If it is, it should be startled and provoked to forget immediately.
Q: My Klonoa unit starts flinching and whimpering whenever my Pango unit comes near.
A: Your Klonoa unit has witnesses the Rolling Blaster/Gigantic Bomber attack. The face of your Pango unit during those moves are enough to wipe the grins from a Moo unit. And trust us, that takes a lot. There isn't much you can do at this point - you can buy a Guntz unit and equip them both with the Slash Update Kit special ver. 2.54. KloGuntz. That should take the fright off your Klonoa unit's mind.
Q: My family's falling sick. Can my Pango unit help?
A: Of course. What it will do is to pick the first blossom off a cherry tree, wave it under the Moon and touch the person's face with it. This works miraculously. Try it.
Q: My Pango unit keeps screaming that its book is missing.
A: Look under your bed. The Legend of Stars and Moon is a very important book for the Pango unit. Failure to find it will depress the Pango unit deeply.
Your Pango unit is guaranteed to last at least 15 years. Please call 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR often for available updates for your unit.
During the guaranteed time, your unit can be exchanged for a new one, but only in the case of malfuctions.
Namco Inc. wishes you a happy time with your Pango unit!
I'll update soon!