Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or Marvel nor do I own Jon Bon Jovi and the wonderful music that he makes. But the thought of owning him in some manner makes me strangely happy ;). The intro song is Damned, it's by Bon Jovi, from their These Days album. I highly recommend it.

This is rated M for a reason. If you don't like it or are not legally able to read it, then don't and go elsewhere. Please.

A/N: Since I get the feeling that no one really reads my bio page, I think I should tell you all I got a LiveJournal account, which I'll use to update about the status of fics and other stuff like thoughts/rants about things in fan-fiction, the Romy relationship and some Battlestar Galactica stuff too for you BSG and X-Men fans. And probably some Heroes stuff too. So check it out, the username is: mwffj (Mercedes Watson's Fan Fiction Journal).

Damned
By: Mercedes Watson

Lying here beside you in someone else's bed
Knowing what we're doing's wrong
But better left unsaid
Your breathing sounds like screaming
It's all that I can stand
His ring is on your finger
But my heart is in your hands
Damned if you love me
Damned if you don't
It's getting harder holding on, but I can't let you go
Damned if you don't need me
Damned if you do
Oh God, I wish it wasn't me standin' in these shoes

They had to stop doing this.

It was wrong.

She was going to be married in three months.

He was in a long-term relationship with Betsy.

But none of these thoughts stopped Remy as he pressed Rogue up against wet, tiled wall of one of the showers in the women's locker room. He didn't care that he was getting his pants wet, having already taken his shirt off before stepping into the shower with her. The water was deliciously hot, steam rising around them like a fog. His lips and tongue moved against hers like an expert in his element. Dare he say that perhaps he knew her mouth better than Betsy's? The thought quickly died as he moved his mouth from Rogue's perfect lips to the creamy skin of her neck.

"Remy—" She weakly protested, hands on his chest but slowly sliding down to his waist. "What—what about Bets—"

"Out shoppin' with Jean and Kitty." He replied into her neck. Rogue was undoing his pants and he sighed with anticipation as she slowly slid down his zipper. "So we've got at least three hours." Lower and lower his kisses ventured until he was very close to taking one of Rogue's pink nipples into his mouth. "Where's Joseph?"

"Out with Scott and Warren somewhere." She sighed. "What about…everyone else?"

Remy pulled away and looked at Rogue, smoothing a clump of damp hair out of her face. "It's Friday night chere and we're just about de only people left in de house." He smiled.

Rogue smiled back at him, rising up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around Remy's neck and kiss him soundly on the lips. She loved Remy; she knew it like she knew her own name. But it was complicated. They couldn't just leave their significant others, it was liable to at least divide the team if not tear it apart with friends taking sides with the various parties involved.

Besides, she thought as Remy lifted her up against the wall and slid into her, he probably got off on the secrecy of it just as much as she did. He sunk his teeth into the curve where her neck met her shoulder and Rogue threw her head back, moaning like a Siren in heat. She smiled wickedly as Remy growled his satisfaction at pleasing her so and picked up his pace.

"Ya like that Swamp Rat?" She purred into his ear.

Remy groaned against her, making her sigh. "Y'know I can get off on just de noises ya make alone."

"Don't Ah know it." She replied, thinking of a mission in which they really had proven that. They had been assigned to scout out an abandoned building together while looking for some mutant and they had spilt up to cover more ground as it was a large structure. They flirted and bantered over the walkie-talkie headsets in their usual way until Remy had said something too racy and Rogue pretended to take offense. In actuality, they switched over to a different channel, one that was quite a few frequencies away from the rest of the X-Men. They continued to say lecherous things to each other and Rogue ended up sensuously moaning in reply to something Remy promised he would do to her later. Remy replied that he liked that, which only encouraged Rogue further. They didn't find the kid, but Remy did end up leaving some of his DNA behind.

Rogue's mind returned to the present as Remy pressed his thumb to her clit. She bit her lip as sensation ripped through her, making her arch her back off the tiles. Despite virtually no one still being in the house, they still had to take some precautions. Anyone was liable to walk in. His mouth sealed over hers as he swirled his thumb around her nub, her moans becoming louder and louder with each thrust. A few more and she was clutching him as close as possible to her, fingers digging into his back as she shattered around him. She was barely done her own climax as Remy reached his, shuddering against her.

They kissed passionately for a few moments afterwards, not wanting the moment to end. When they finally broke for air, both were panting heavily and Remy's jeans were nothing but a wet denim blob around his feet.

"I love you." He said, their foreheads touching and wet hair hanging in their faces.

"Ah love ya too." She replied, a soft smile on her lips. She leaned up and kissed him again. It was meant to be just a quick kiss before she stepped out of the shower and dressed herself. But soon it dissolved into a heated melding of lips, Remy stepping out of his jeans and wrapping both arms tightly around her.

"Hold on." She said, breaking the kiss. "Why don't ya meet me in my room in ten minutes?"

Remy sighed, as if it was taking him great effort to refrain from just taking Rogue against the wall again. "Why not my room?"

"Because ya get too comfy after we're done and fall asleep. Then Ah fall asleep. And then we almost get caught like the last time we were in your room."

"Right, right." Remy nodded, letting her go. She stepped out of the shower and got some towels while he shut off the shower. She tossed him one and he caught it, wrapping it around his lean waist. He sat on the bench watching her towel off and get dressed, enjoying the show.

"So, t'ink yo' gonna be able t' wait ten minutes?" He finally asked when she was dressed before him.

"Ah think so." She said. "But if you're any later than five minutes, Ah'm startin' without ya."

"You just better be naked wearin' not'in' but dem back stilettos on de bed when I get up dere or ya ain't startin' not'in'."

She shot him a look and slapped him on the ass. "Smart ass." She grumbled.

"You like it." He said before leaning in for a quick kiss. "Now get befo' someone walks by and wonders which X-femme's voice just got a whole lot deeper."

"Ten minutes." She repeated and turned and left.

Remy watched her go and waited at least five minutes before putting his shirt back on and grabbing his soaked jeans and heading for the door that Rogue just left through. He peeked out into the hallway that connected the men's and women's locker rooms and saw that it was clear. Quickly, he darted the forty feet down the hall to the door of the men's locker room and dashed inside. He stood just inside the door, listening and hearing that it was mercifully quiet. He threw his jeans in the industrial laundry bin as he passed it heading to his locker. There was a fresh change of clothes in his locker and he quickly changed into them, being mindful of how much time he had left. He threw the towel he had been using in the same laundry bin as his jeans as he left, satisfied that he would make it in time.

He remembered how this had all started. There was a time where they hardly knew each other because they were on different teams. And the X-Men had been busy with saving the world and keeping everything from ripping apart at the seams and all that bull. A lull in the action happened upon them and stretched out for months. To keep everyone from going stir crazy, Scott and Storm decided to mix up the teams and Remy was placed on Rogue's team. They were partnered together in Danger Room sessions frequently, which first exposed Rogue to his flirting. They bantered easily and started hanging around each a bit more, even going out on a couple of friendly dates when Betsy and Joseph had been busy with other things.

Then came The Mission. It had happened about a year ago, they were sent down south, just the two of them, to scope out a local Friends of Humanity chapter. Make sure that they weren't getting too uppity or in the midst of planning some huge Secret Evil Plan ™ that they were going to unleash on the unsuspecting public and the X-Men. On the third night of their mission, they were stranded in their dingy hotel room, a mother of a storm lashing the windows and flooding all the nearby roads. Around this time, Remy had found that he had some serious…appreciation for Rogue. Especially since she learned to control her powers and now was dressed in denim shorts and a thin white blouse that was knotted at the waist. He had never loved the heat and humidity of the south and a broken air conditioner more than he did that night. The curtains fluttered in the breeze from the windows that were open, protected from the rain by the walkway for the third floor. Warm and moist air blew in, making their clothes feel slightly uncomfortable and stray hairs falling out of Rogue's updo to to stick to her sweat-damp neck. He accidentally cornered her in the kitchen while he made lemonade and she cooked them both up some grilled cheeses on the teeny tiny stove. There was a moment of murmured apologies for getting in each other's way and cursing the small kitchen. But it stopped as they looked into each other's eyes for a heated moment. Remy was the first to close the distance between their lips with a wild and hot kiss. Soon she was relieving him of his shirt as he lifted her knee to wrap around his waist. Her blouse was unbuttoned most of the way and her bra unhooked as Remy carried her over to the bed (he had been sleeping on the couch up until that point). Thankfully, Rogue hadn't turned on the stove yet as then the hotel would have burned down; both of them were too distracted with each other to notice anything else. It had been some of the best sex, no, lovemaking, of his life that night. Rogue was perfect; wanting and needing, giving and taking, gasping, moaning and arching as he pushed her body to its limits. She had also returned the favor in full, leaving them lying underneath the top sheet spent and exhausted.

Two things happened to him that night. The first was that he was actually jealous of Joseph Lensherr for once in his life. The second, more important and life-changing fact was that he fell in love with her that night. That singular taste of her left him addicted for life. Maybe he had been in love with her before that night and didn't know it, but his fate had definitely become sealed that night. He stayed up a little while after she had fallen asleep next to him, watching her, thinking that she was an angel. Then his eyes lighted on the necklace around her neck, a gift from Joseph, and everything seemed less wonderful. He kept his feelings secret from her, accepted her talk in the morning that it had been a mistake and they had avoided each other when they returned. For three weeks, she hadn't even looked him in the eye and always had some excuse for not being at Danger Room sessions when he was there.

Then on some idle, warm, Saturday afternoon Rogue paid a visit to him in the garage while he was working on his motorcycle. There was some small talk that he couldn't remember but he could tell that when she said "Joseph asked me ta marry him", it hadn't been anywhere near what they had been talking about. Because right after she said that, he dropped the wrench he had been holding and it landed right on his foot and he didn't even make a sound. He hadn't even been wearing boots at the time, let alone steel-toed boots that would have protected his second toe from breaking. He cleared his throat as if there was suddenly something stuck in it and managed to rasp out a "congratulations". Rogue then proceeded to close the distance between their bodies, ran her hands up from his chiseled stomach to his face, which she pulled down to give him a thorough kiss that lead to one of the most arousing make out sessions of his life. He tried in vain to stop her in the beginning, but he was powerless against her. She stopped and just held on to him for a long period of time, burying her face into his chest like if she were to let go, he would vanish into thin air.

"Ah think Ah love you, Remy LeBeau." She finally admitted, barely above a whisper.

Remy wrapped his arms around her and held her as she quietly sobbed into his chest, completely torn over what to do

"We can't tell them." She whispered, sniffing.

He grabbed her shoulders and held her out in front of him. "Why not?"

"Because…because Ah don't want ta tear the team apart. Ah don't want ta be the center of some scandal and have people starin' at me as Ah walk down the hall."

"Fair enough." He sighed. "If dat's what ya want t' do, den dat's what we'll do."

"Are ya sure?"

"Chere," he said, taking a hold of her hands, "I love ya too, so if dat's what ya want t' do, den dat's what I want t' do too. We'll keep it a secret."

And that's exactly what they have been doing for almost the past year. It was the reason he slipped into her room without knocking. Better to just slip in rather than knock and wait and possibly wind up talking to someone who was passing by in the hall. He shut the door behind him and turned around to face the sight of Rogue on the bed. What he saw completely knocked his socks off.

Rogue made it upstairs without incident, proving that the mansion really was nearly devoid of people. She could hear some of the younger students in the rec room, but the sounds of anime-like characters drifting out of the room as she walked by told her that they probably wouldn't even leave the room for a bathroom break.

Shaking her head with a slight smile on her face, Rogue climbed the stairs and went to her room. She looked around at the room she shared with Joseph for a moment before she started taking off her clothes. She knew that she and Remy would have to come out one day and it would definitely be before the wedding. There was no way she was going to go through with it. She could barely get through one planning session with Joseph anymore. She knew it was leading him to believe that something was up with her but she also knew that he didn't suspect any kind of affair. He most likely thought that she was having second thoughts or getting cold feet or something. Now fully naked, Rogue went over to her closet and began rummaging through the piles of her and Joseph's shoes looking for the stilettos that Remy wanted her to wear. She personally hated the way they hurt her feet but something about them was like an aphrodisiac for Remy. Finding them, she pulled them out of the closet, a clump of black material hooked on one heel.

"What the hell?" She murmured, a frown curving her lips. She pulled it off the heel and upon examining it, found that it was one garter-style fishnet stocking. An idea hit her and she went back into the closet, looking for the other one. Then she crossed the room and pulled a lacy black thong from her underwear drawer. She donned it all and then decided that if she was putting on the garters, might as well go the whole nine yards. Smoky eyes, red lips, emerald stud earrings. When she was finished, she stretched out on the bed in the most provocative pose she knew. Of course, that changed about six times in two minutes and she had to keep the last pose she made as Remy opened the door and closed it behind him. She guessed by the way his jaw hit the floor when he saw her, that she had done a good job.

"You're late, Cajun."

"Je suis desole, chere." He said earnestly, despite the smirk on his face as he crossed over to her. She sat up and kneeled on the edge of the bed as he stood in front of her and placed his hands on her hips. "I'm hopin' I can make it up t' ya."

She pursed her lips in thought. "Hmm….My feet hurt already from being in these ridiculous shoes. Ah think Ah should get a foot rub."

"As de lady wishes." He replied as Rogue got comfortable on the bed and stuck a foot out for him to start with.

"And take your shirt off." She smiled like a cat that had just gotten into the cream.

Remy nodded and shucked his shirt off over his head, sending it across the room and leaving him clad in just black sweatpants. He climbed onto the bed and kneeled by her feet, sensuously removing her shoe with lingering smooth touches. The shoe fell to the floor and landed with a thump before Remy began rubbing his thumbs in small circles on the arch of her foot.

Rogue, who was leaning back on her elbows and watching what was going on, dropped her head back and sighed with delight. "That's nice." The smile could be heard in her voice. She sighed again as Remy pressed a kiss to the inside of her ankle and continued to rub her feet. He trailed kisses all around the tender skin of her ankle, making her giggle, especially when he pressed his lips to the arch of her foot. He then rested her foot on his shoulder as his hand smoothed down the inside of her leg, unclipping the garters and slowly sliding the hosiery off her leg. Rogue closed her eyes and let herself fall back on the bed, smiling to herself. Remy always gave the best foot rubs. He started in on her other foot, taking the shoe off in the same manner. Again, he gently caressed her foot with his hands and his lips, making her both giggle and quietly moan with delight. He smoothed his hand down her thigh again and peeled off her stocking, but this time when he was done, Remy began creating a path of kisses down her leg. He paused for a few moments to dart his tongue out to tickle the back of her knee, making her squirm and swat at the top of his head.

"You better watch dat or yo' gonna find yo'self real alone real fast." He teasingly warned.

"Then stop ticklin' me and get down ta business Cajun." Rogue demanded. Any other time she would have loved for him to take his time and play her like a violin, but anticipation tended to make her quite vocal when they got down to it.

"Patience is a virtue chere." He lightly admonished against the side of her knee.

"Yeah, well, neither you nor me are very virtuous people." She snapped back, and then sighed as he finally began moving his lips up her inner thigh "Besides, you're still supposed ta be makin' it up ta me for bein' late."

"I was not late. I'm jus' playin' along with you."

"Ya wer—oh!" Rogue's breath was stolen away from her as Remy closed his lips over her panties, tongue teasing at her. She heard him chuckle satisfactorily and felt him take the fabric of her thong between his teeth and watched him pull it down her body.

"Ah'm savin' that image in my mental gallery." Rogue said, smirking just before Remy crawled up the rest of her body and summarily attacked her mouth with a hungry kiss. She moaned into his mouth with the pleasant surprise of it, thinking that he had been about to do something else. She threaded her fingers into his hair, and rolled Remy onto his back. While their tongues battled for supremacy over one another, Rogue slowly trailed a hand down his lean and hard body, sneaking it under his pants and gripping his rapidly hardening erection. Their kiss broke as Remy dropped his head back some and bit off a guttural moan.

"Don't stop, Dieu, don't stop." He panted as Rogue continued her actions and laved the skin of his neck with her tongue.

"Ah have ta." She said as her hand left him and grasped the waistband of his sweatpants. "Unless ya don't wanna have any real fun."
Once she removed his pants and underwear in one action, she straddled him and began raining kisses on his chest, progressively traveling further and further down his chest.

"I thought I was supposed t' be makin' somet'in up t' ya?" He asked, slightly winded as Rogue dipped her tongue into his navel.

"Ah've decided that ya got ta have your fun in the shower." She said against the muscles of his abs.

"If I'd know dat, I would—" The rest of Remy's sentence was lost in something between a moan and a sigh as Rogue licked the length of his member, beginning at the base and ending at the top. Rogue smiled and then took the tip of him into her mouth, toying with it with her tongue. She took a bit more of him into her mouth, applying light pressure as she went and took the rest of him into her hand. Her lips retreated to the head of his length, swirling her tongue around the tip and dragging her tongue down along the underside before taking him into her mouth again. She worked him into a frenzy this way, lips and tongue and hand working in concert to bring him to the very edge.

"OhDieu…Rogue." He sighed between quiet moans or pressing his lips together as tight as he could to keep from getting too loud.

With a final lick along his length, Rogue pulled away and straddled him again, this time guiding him into her. Slowly, she sank down on him, drawing it out as long as possible. If the death grip that Remy had on her hips was any indication, it was taking all of his willpower to keep from completing in her right then and there. She rocked her hips in a slow and steady rhythm, enjoying the feeling of him being inside of her. Her hands traced random patterns over his chest as she moved, her breathy sighs filling the air around them. Briefly, she leaned down to kiss him, her rhythm quickening slightly before pulling away and leaving him wanting more. When she was upright again, her hands roamed over her body, starting with the flat planes of her stomach and moving upward, over her breasts. One stole up to the nape of her neck, lifting her thick mass of curly hair up to allow the too-warm skin to cool off. The other slowly slid down her body but never got to reach its destination as Remy suddenly sat up, wrapping one arm around her waist while his other reached up and brought her face down to his for a deep frenzied kiss. He started meeting her thrust for thrust and their kiss disconnected, Remy pressing the side of his face to her chest, gritting his teeth and trying to stave off climax as long as he could.

Rogue dropped her head back, depending upon Remy's grip to keep her upright as the beginnings of climax began coursing through her, teasing her with promise of release before ripping through her with a surprising intensity. A hand closing over her mouth, Remy's face buried into her chest, and him holding her hips hard to his as he thrust hard into her one last time were the last things she knew before she became awash in her orgasm. Vision and sound didn't register; all she knew was the heat and ecstatic sensation coursing through her.

Remy collapsed back onto the bed, taking Rogue with him, panting and spent. They laid there for a few minutes trying to catch their breath and regain some sense of coherency.

Remy was the first to speak. "You okay?"

"Ah'm fine." She replied, languidly moving off Remy to lay by his side and rest her head on his shoulder. It was never like this with Joseph and she wasn't talking about the hot intense love making either. Anyone could have that with proper stimulation. But whenever they lay together like this, with or without clothes on, Rogue always felt some deep connection between her and Remy that had nothing to do with sex. And he was able to remind her of it with just one glance or the way he made her feel like she was the most important person in the world when they were out together. Sometimes it felt like she could just wrap herself up in him and sink into some sort of happy otherness, content just to be with him forever.

"We have ta tell them." Rogue said, unconsciously pressing closer to Remy. "Ah'm tired of keepin' it secret. Ah'm tired of worryin' if we're gonna get caught or if we're sittin' too close tagether on the couch. Ah wanna be able ta walk around and hold your hand. Ah'm tired of makin' up lame excuses as a cover for a weekend away with ya. We gotta tell them."

"I know." Remy sighed, a tiredness to his voice as he wrapped his arm tighter around her. "Jus', not right dis instant, 'kay?"

"Ah know." She replied, lifting her head to look at him. "But Ah meant now in like the general sense. Ah think Ah'm ready."

"Ya sho'?" He lifted his own head slightly to properly gaze back at her, lifting a brow. "It'll change a lot of t'ings…dere's goin' t' be whispers."

"Ah don't care." She found his hand and threaded his fingers in between hers. "Long as Ah have you."

Remy dropped his head back on the pillow and smiled. How did he get so lucky? He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "Alright. We tell dem."