The Eclipse of My Life.
With out Edward with me, I knew I would have ran away from this chat with Charlie. I could already hear what he was going to say to me. "Bella how could YOU!", "You promised me you wouldn't", "Why?", and "I'm so disappointed". And with a slight reassuring squeeze, I walked in to the house.
Charlie was right in front of us when we opened the door. His face was so red I thought he would explode. His body was shaken so violently, it reminded me of Jake.
Oh! Jake. I felt so bad. I wish I could just talk to him. I wish I could have just hugged him. I truly do miss him. But I need him to under stand that I love Edward more than everything and at the same time I love him too. He promised though. Even though he just said that he might not be able to keep it, I would still hold him to it. My train of thought was interrupted by Charlie's voice.
"Edward, can you please leave so I can have a talk with Isabella." he tried to say it polite but he was just so mad.
"NO!" I shouted. I needed Edward there with me. I can't do this alone. He can't leave me.
"It's ok. I'll leave." he said only looking at Charlie.
"WHAT!?" I said a little hysteric. I couldn't help it. Trader tears came down my cheeks. He can't leave me, now.
He gave me a hug and quickly whispered in my ear so that I just caught what he was saying. "Bella, calm down. I'm just going to bring the Volvo home and I be here when your done. Waiting in your room for you. Ok? I love you."
He gave me a quick kiss on my forehead and walked out the door. I heard his car purr to life and then the sound disappeared in to the distance.
I was a little distracted when Charlie started to talk to me. The smell of Edward still lingered around me. When I found my train of thought, Charlie was walking towards the living room.
I quickly followed and I wasn't paying attention to him so when he stopped, I bumped in to him and said "What?".
He turned around an took a hold of my shoulders to make sure I didn't fall. His violent shakes had stopped and his face wasn't as red as before. I looked in to his eyes and saw the hurt, the disappointment, the pure sadness behind his watery gaze.
He started to talk to me. "Bella…"
But I cut him off before he could finish. I knew this must be hard for him. "Dad, please let me explain." My voice a little broken, from the lump that was forming in my throat.
He looked at me and shook his head for me to continue. I made my way to the living room, where we both sat on the couch.
"Dad, I know that you must be hurt and disappointed. But you need to understand. I know that I promised you but I was so empty. There was no life left to me. I know that must have been hard for you to see me like that." Charlie went to say something but I put my hand up to stop him.
"When Edward left, he made me promise not to be reckless or stupid. I got so feed up with the fact that I never broke a promise and why should I keep one with some who left me and hurt me so much." At this point my tears started to run down my face. Charlie just sat there waiting for the next part. I quickly wiped my tears away and took his hands in mine.
"It was so hard for me not to have him around. I truly went crazy with out him. Then I realized that every time I was reckless or stupid, I could hear his voice as if he was standing right next to me. It was telling me to be careful and trying to protect me even though he was so far away." I saw Charlie's jaw droop.
"Oh, Bells…" I cut him off again.
"Please Dad just let me finish. You need to know this." Charlie nodded and I began again.
"So I found the two motor cycles for sale so I bought them. It was the only way that I knew that would let me hear his voice again." I wiped the tears from my eyes again.
"So Jake helped me by fixing them and teaching me how to ride one. It worked, every time I was on the bike I could hear his voice. And for those few minutes, I was whole again. I'm so sorry I hurt you but, I needed to hear his voice to convince myself that he still cared and that and that in some way he still loved me." The memories were to hard to remember and I broke down and started to cry into Charlie's shoulder.
He wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear. "Its ok bells… I know you were hurt but I didn't know it was that bad. I'm SO sorry. Just promise me you'll never ride that thing again."
"I promise." With that he kissed the top of my head and let go of me so I could sit up again.
I pulled the sleeves of my shirt over my hands and wiped all of my tears off with them. When I had finish Charlie started to talk.
"You must truly love him bells." He said with a slight attempt of a smile on his face.
"I DO Dad. Just as much as HE loves me. And I want you to know, that he loves me and promised to never leave me again. I hope now you can see that we truly are in love with each other."
"I understand Bella.. And I've accepted that you to are together but don't expect anything else. I'm sorry but I can't let go of what he did to you, honey."
"That's good enough for now, Dad. Thanks. I love you." As I said this I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could.
He kissed my forehead and I let go and got up. "Well I'm gonna go freshen up and then I'll make dinner. Ok?"
"Ok." he said and turned the T.V. on to the sports channel.
I smiled and turned away. I walked out to the stairs and concentrated on not tripping and falling when I walked up them. I really couldn't help but to get distracted. Every thing that had happened that day rushed in to my mind… Jake…Charlie… the motor cycles… me telling Charlie how bad I was… and Edward. At that last thought I lost all concentration and tripped over the last stair. When I realized what had happen my face was smashed in the hard wood floor.
"OUCH!!" I slowly got up and made my way to my room.
I opened the door to feel a big gust of wind rush pass me. My windows were opened. I looked around to see where he was, but he was no where to be found. I quickly ran to the closet to see if Edward was in it. When I opened the doors my stomach drooped. I could feel the blood drain from my already pail face. He wasn't in the closet.