With absolutely, positively, and most certainly-without-a-doubt nothing better to do, Mega Man, his supposed mortal enemy, a Slash Man recolor, and a lightning-powered demigod, sat around stacks of unmelted containers of ice cream, stacks of which reached many tens of times their height.

"This is boring," complains Mega Man. "Why can't we go look at your Transformers collection, Bass?"

"It got blown up last time you beat Dad's giant robot, remember?" Bass explains, sighing. Chadling climbs onto the top of the stack, and pokes his claws into one of the open containers.

"If only the Author liked ice cream," mutters Mega Man as Chadling impales the container. "He might help us..."

"Who says he doesn't?" adds George, juggling a ball of lightning he manages to create between his hands. "I mean, he gave you your love of ice cream, right?"

"Yeah, but Bob doesn't like ice cream," says Bass, as Chadling desperately tries to shake, kick, and pull the container off the end of his claw. "And he calls Bob his Mary Sue..."

In shock, George misses his juggle and throws the ball of lightning at the sky. The claw that Chadling is trying to get the ice cream off of becomes singed. Then the container becomes ablaze.

"He calls Bob what?" George says, resisting an amused smirk but not managing to stop completly manly giggling, that turns into chuckles, that begins to turn into crazed roars of laughter. "Mary Sue! He calls Bob Mary! Imagine if Bob knew!"

Bass raises an eyebrow, and Mega Man gives a small chuckle but doesn't laugh even as George becomes crazier and crazier. Neither of them seem to have found out what's so funny. In the background, Chadling falls off the stack of containers while trying to bash the fire against the side of them, and the containers go down like a deck of cards. Plus flying Slash Man recolor.

Both Mega Man and Bass jump up, George begins to cry and clutch his sides, and Chadling is still on fire. The first two run towards Chadling and the tempting stack of still unmelted ice cream. Bass becomes distracted and goes to find out if ice cream melts if you shoot it with plasma.

"Hey Chadling, are you alright?" asks Mega Man, asking the obvious question considering Chadling is becoming increasingly more ablaze. As if to fight the obvious answer, however, Chadling simply stands up.

"I'm fiNE," he says, his normally childish voice becoming deep and slurred like a villain in an old B-movie. "BuT tHAt FAll rEAlly huRT. I tHINk iT daMAgeD my PaiN reCEptORS."

"Oh, OK," says Mega Man, as if this situation is not strange in the slightest. "Did the fire melt the ice cream, at least?"

"YeAH, but SUDdeNly i'M noT HUNgRY."

Now Mega Man looks shocked.

"What?!" he yells. "Not hungry for ice cream? Something must be wrong with your processors! You should go see Dr. Light!"

Chadling nods and walks off.

"Just look out for flying parts!" Mega Man reminds him, before turning towards Bass. "Especially if he's drunk!"

"Aww..." whines Bass, as George yells something about "Be my Mary Sue, Bob" in the background. Bass, at this point, is standing with blaster aimed at the ashy remains of what was once an ice cream container. "You can't melt them with plasma shots."

"You're not supposed to hurt ice cream containers, Bass! Only evil robots!"

"Oh, right," he replies, reforming his arm. "But I'm supposed to hurt you and I don't do it."

"I'm not an evil robot," huffs Mega Man, crossing his arms.

"Of course you're not an evil robot," says Bass, looking offended. "I just want some ice cream, though."

"Yeah," says Mega Man, with a nod. "But it takes a while to get it to melt... Maybe we can use George!"

"Yeah!" agrees Bass, throwing a hand into the air. "He loves ice cream! He'd love to help!"

"I'll go get him," he says, as Bass runs off to get his hand.

Mega Man climbs through a sea of fallen ice cream containers, and reaches George again, who is now sitting down. Able to do nothing but stare as George continues to laugh like an acid trip gone horribly wrong, Mega Man realizes that if this was the comic, it'd probably just be four panels of the same thing. Laziest comic ever.

"I don't want to be your Mary Sue, Author!" says George gruffly between guffaws, doing a bad imitation of Bob and holding up a hand as a makeshift puppet. "Go make an actual woman in this comic that isn't underage!"

He changes voices, something vaguely like his but slightly lower-pitched. He raises the other hand.

"But Bob, you're the only one for me! Could't you tell this was going to happen by my purple outfit and strange sound effects? And we were in the same panel sometimes! You're my soulmate!"

George rolls slightly and falls onto the ground again, slight bolts of electricity jumping across his body as he laughs like this unintended joke is the funniest thing in any dimension ever.

Mega Man decides this a good time to leave, and Bass returns, plus his hand.

"Well, any other ideas?" asks Bass.

"Erm..." says Mega Man, rubbing a hand against his chin. "We could use my, um, whatsit microwave..."

"You have a whatsit microwave?" says Bass. "I wish I had one of those."

"Yeah, but I've never used it. Hold on..."

There is a slight DING, and a numberpad pops out of Mega Man's stomach. Another DING and a door opens, complete with quaint napkin, lightbulb, and a melted can of beer. Mega Man pulls the beer out of his microwave-stomach and throws it, and Bass runs off to get the ice cream.

"Why won't you love me, Bob?" yells George in the background, wiping tears from his eyes.

Bass returns with as much ice cream as his arms can carry, stuffing it all into Mega Man's open "whatsit microwave." Closing it, they both stare at it, unsure of what to do.

"Um, press the buttons.." tries Mega Man. "I think the first two numbers are hours, and the last two are minutes, so set it to 1:30?"

"OK," says Bass, nodding, and he does. Mega Man holds back a cry of "Don't do that" and childish laughing at Bass pushes button on his stomach. Not noticing, Bass then sits down and stares at Mega Man's microwave.

Four minutes later, George walks over, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I have to tell Bob that sometime," he says, still grinning, "if I see him again soon. His reaction-"

He sniffs the air.

"What's that smell?"

"We're cooking ice cream," Bass responds sagely, not turning around. George blinks. Even he's smart enough to...

"But most of the ice cream has mel-"

"Shh!" says Bass, lifting a finger to his mouth. "This requires concentrate. I mean, concentration."

Bass squints at the ice cream hard, as if hoping to suddenly gain heat vision. George shrugs and leaves.


An hour and a half of very intense squinting action later, Bass cheers as there is a distorted DING and the microwave opens up. Bass, and the entire room, is quickly engulfed by a deluge of black smoke, dust, and what looks vaguely like a completely liquified container of ice cream.

"It's done!" Bass says happily, scooping some into his hands. Mega Man, who hasn't moved the entire time, does nothing, even as Bass waves the whatever-it-is into his face. "Come on, Mega Man!"

Mega Man doesn't move. Chadling comes back, walks over, and pokes him in the forehead with a claw. There is a dramatic creak, then a CLUNK as Mega Man hits the ground.

"My highly advanced internal sensors have detected a problem..."

"Oh no! I killed him!"


When Mega Man finally wakes up again, he gets up only to hit his head on the cieling. Wincing and rubbing his forehead, he looks around and is greeted with the biggest collection of Transformers the world has probably ever seen. And Bass.

"Oh, hi, Mega Man!" says Bass, waving. I wasn't sure what to do, so I decided to show you off to my friends as a new transformer! Cool, huh?"

"Err... sure, OK. Where'd you get all these from?"



There is a familiar flash of photoshopped light and a distinct "PFOOF". The man in question is then standing on the cieling, upside-down.

"Hey, Bob!" he says, friendly. "What are you complaining about today?"

"I'm your who?" growls Bob.